A wicked wednesday post – the theme this week is YKINMK – Your kink is not my kink
Not everyone is kinky, and not everyone who is kinky or into any aspect of BDSM is necessarily into the same thing there’s just so many different ways of doing BDSM it would be impossible to like them all it would be like enjoying every kind of food the same. There’s things this girl eats that she loves, other things that are well you know okay, and also things that sometimes she’ll eat just because its one of Grimly’s favourite meals…like pork and mash. See a man can be uber kinky but boring with cuisine, just goes to show 😉
Anyway, perhaps thats a bad example but what this girl is trying to say is its very rare for a person to like everything to the same degree, and somethings just aren’t digestible.
Not everyone over the years has understood this girl’s kinks and that’s OK. Some of it is weird, some of it is wonderful, some is just odd, but its fantasy right? It’s supposed to be like that. It’s the weird dark stuff that comes out of her imagination and that of the man she loves and the thing is it makes this girl happy. Take a look at the pictures and see how many of them have smiles 😉
Sometimes this girl has got hate mail. Or hate comments. Telling her that she is sick, or that she should be doing something ‘more worthwhile’ with her life. She’s quite happy with her life though, and with the friends she’s met by being kinky.
Sometimes people who are into BDSM don’t get the kind of things she does. For instance, not everyone likes rubber, or electrics or gas masks or whatever it might be. Not everyone has to like it though. Respect is nice and courtesy, but they don’t have to like it and might never. This girl can live what that though.
There are fetishes this girl doesn’t like, things like rope and needles just are not her thing. She doesn’t have anything against anyone that likes that though, although she might tease the ropey people a little but with that accepts being teased back 😉
The ‘your kink is not my kink’ idea goes on to suggest ‘but its okay’. In honesty, this girl agrees with that about 90%. There are elements of bdsm she doesn’t practice since there are things that don’t float her boat…or Grimly’s, but there are things that she has come across as well that just can occasionally strike her as being wrong and harmful or non consensual.
This girl will accept most kinks as being ‘okay’ if all the people involved are consenting and are aware of the risks involved. Some of the fetishes written about on fetlife though don’t always suggest that to be the case. For instance a while back she commented on a thread about fucking with knife blades. She can’t remember what she said exactly but her comment was shot down for not being accepting of it. It would be nice and utilitarian to be accepting of everyone and everything they do, but the things is if we applied that same theory to society in general we’d be accepting of all kinds of crime and social issues and politics i.e. ‘your politics aren’t my politics but thats okay ‘ doesnt work, because this girl is quite certain than the politics of the SNP are not okay!*
So when is your kink okay when is it not?
it’s not really for any one person to decide, certainly not this girl. She has her own spectrum of things she likes, things she doesn’t like, and other things that the suggestion of causes her moral, legal or ethical concern. The way this girl deals with that is to avoid any groups on fetlife or websites or people that might be over her lines on that. She doesn’t want to be accepting of everyone, it’s too naive, but she doesn’t want to put herself in conversations where she might come across as judgemental or hypocritical and its possible of course there are things that this girl does that other people probably look at and don’t think that are ‘okay’. However, if that does happen, she’s more than happy for people to discuss and say things that might change her mind or opinion of something, in the case of the knife blade fucking, if someone had said ‘well actually its safe to do this if you do xyz and its hot if you do it like abc’ then maybe that would have changed her mind, instead they laughed at her for voicing a concern as to whether it was safe, which to her seemed a justifiable concern to raise.
This girl would like to think that she portrays her kinks as being imaginative, creative and acted out with the implication risks have been thought out, and that fun has add by all and that no one has suffered any lasting harm or emotional damage, and that most people would accept that as being a sort of way of being OK, but if not, then well,it makes no difference really. This girl is satisfied that what she does is OK, and not causing any issues for her or anyone she plays with, and at the end of the day the opinion only matters of those you immediately affect.
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* that is a joke by the way, seriously if you want to vote for the snp and Scottish Independence go for it, this girl just questions your sanity thats all 😉