Wet dream

A wicked Wednesday post : the theme this week is the word wet.

Grimly had a wet dream the first night this girl was in his house. At least sort of. Apologies to anyone who has heard the story before but after a heavy afternoon of play this girl couldn’t sleep and decided to jump out of bed in the playroom and sneak through with a squirty bottle of water (the type they use for watering plants in a greenhouse) and squirt it in his face and on other parts of him that wouldn’t like cold water at 3am. He got revenge quite quickly by taking her to bed with him but only tormented by plugs and a chastity belt. He’s pretty much kept getting revenge ever since.


This picture was taken during our visit to JG Leathers’ place in 2009.

However whilst we were at the Serious Bondage house during Folsom weekend 2011 this girl got another bondage soaking. It wasn’t quite as cold, since it was after parading about twin peaks in latex in the blistering heat, but it was very wet!


This girl has always been interested exploring water in bondage further whilst getting hosed is a lot of fun especially if it part of bondage games like this its not her main water based fantasy.


Of course lots of things get this girl wet. Well actually pretty much most things kink that she has tried have that effect. Honestly, if it wasn’t a turn on why do any of this?

This girl’s main attraction always in BDSM whether it be at the submissive/mascohist end of the spectrum or at the dominant/sadist end is the fact that it turns her on and sets her pulse racing in a way that ‘vanilla’ sex just wouldn’t.

Water bondage as such is something though she is yet to try as in the sense of water being the main element of the torture.  Something like this picture is very much on her ‘bucket list ‘ ;) Although it needs something slightly larger than a bucket !


This picture is from the website waterbondage.com. This girl isn’t sure if Grimly would be able to rig anything quite like that up in the playroom but maybe in the future he’ll make some sort of smaller more compact version, or maybe this girl will experience it somewhere else. Given how crappy 2013 has been this girl is really wanting to push a few more boundaries and fantasies next year, so well, watch this space!

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All hands on deck

Happy Valentines Day!

Well so today is that time of year where people send cards, buy heart-shaped chocolates, send flowers and generally be a bit more romantic than normal. Yes ok sometimes to the point of being a bit cheesy and sickening about it (said whilst perhaps opening Valentines’ card ;) )

This girl and Grimly have not been particularly romantic over Valentines’ day, having just sent a card to each other, after the wedding there is not really any need for any big grandiose romantic gesture. The thing is too, romance is important all year round and not just on a day that it is scheduled. So, tomorrow, will be a normal Tuesday at work and nothing more.

Many days are not normal!

As part of their honeymoon in September this girl and Grimly had spent some time in San Francisco with Serious Bondage and after checking out one of the viewpoints of the city, some fun was had on the back deck, involving a bit of plumbing, latex, JG Leathers and a hose pipe – and bondage of course.

The Serious Bondage deck has appeared in many kinky photos, on their website and then in people’s own pictures of parties and events there. Whilst this girl and Grimly were there many people were strapped into a bondage chair which was out on the deck whilst everyone else chatted and drank and enjoyed the party. There is a hole under the deck as well to keep naughty subbies at bay of which there were quite a few! Whilst a lot of people at parties sort of gather around the kitchen, given the nights in San Francisco were quite warm everyone enjoyed being outside and a bit of bondage al fresco.

The pictures show this girl in red latex and the butterfly straight jacket being strapped into a face mask Grimly had made her and posture collar and being tied to a hydrant sort of thing. The picture should be kind of obvious as to what happened next!

Well so it seemed that not only this girl’s husband enjoys soaking her with water! Given it was a hot day it felt much nicer than being drenched does in Scotland, but even then it was very cold!

This girl had made the mistake of waking Grimly up with cold water on Sunday morning (sort of tradition sometimes on their anniversary) and he did not react well. Luckily all he had was the shower to chuck her into and not the hose pipe to attack her with, but even then he was quite enterprising with ensuring she didn’t escape in the early hours of the morning!

Whilst this girl loves her husband she also loves fun and adventure and mischievousness. It is why she is with Grimly to begin with.  So normally Valentines’ day is about sending sentiments to a partner, but this girl has also got a great deal of love for the people in her life who have crossed her path either just once or frequently to share in such adventures of bondage, dressing up, pain, pleasure, and of course friendship.So if you are one of those then consider this your valentine minus the chocolate (sorry) ;)

Buying a box of chocolates or sending a bunch of flowers is very easy, but giving up your time and skills to share fun and adventures with someone else means so much more and is priceless to this girl. So long may such fun continue for all those who wish to explore kink amongst their friends and partners.

Turn me on

So this girl finally got to try The Creature again in a comfortable (at least to begin with) reclining position. The build up had been quite intense and she very much appreciated the little sojourn in the garden! 

Her body was suspended off the ground with a combination of garage springs and steel bondage devices. There was absolutely no way she was going anywhere, with Grimly in the corner at the controls she was doomed!

The reasons why this girl was first attracted to The Creature are not that hard to explain. It is an embodiment of what probably attracted her to BDSM in the first place.  Full on bondage, sensory overload and well….pretty much a device that has the ability to torment and torture on one hand but to lead to earth shattering orgasms on the other.

This girl cannot say exactly where her interest in torment and torture first came from, certainly the first she heard of electricity on the genitals was from her history teacher – he had a sort of dominant moody side to him, but on the downside he had a lisp. She was certainly inspired by films too ones like Robin Hood, James Bond, The Avengers, The Princess Bride – anything with a torture and interrogation scene where the victim was racked and tormented within an inch of their life.

Ok so there are some people that say they love BDSM because they can get it to be so intense they feel something spiritual. Is it something like that? Such a question is too personal for this girl to draw comparisons.

See to be honest, this girl just likes to get to the point where pain and pleasure is one and to feel a tiny bit of fear and adrenaline.

The Creature is a combination of all manner of high tech stimuli, from electrics and vaccum to breath control and shares these features with the chair that Grimly made although in a different manner of presentation.

This girl likes the fact that every sensory part of her body can be controlled with just a few switches and dials and there aren’t really any lasting marks on the body, just on the memory. This is why the hi-tech sci-fi type of play really turns her on. It is more cerebral and through the senses stimulates the mind.

Perhaps what made this time more special than the first was because it was her husband at the controls and towards the end of the torture he did subject her to rather exquisite tenderness that left aftershocks for quite some time ;)

And well the whole thing, its eye candy right ;)

Lady in waiting

So as you might guess, a lot of the vanilla things Grimly and thisgirl did on honeymoon involved waiting and queuing and being in the car for hours wondering ‘are we there yet ? ‘ lol. All holidays have an element of that. This girl has never been a very patient person, and perhaps less patient when it comes to kink! Probably she has mentioned this issue before.

For a very long time particularly it has felt as though life has been a bit on hold with Grimly still two hundred miles away even now.  But, this girl is unsure if she has mentioned it, but she will finally have him living here with her around March time :)

Having a timescale is good :) But its still irritating that its not now!

Anyway, this girl sometimes gets a bit anxious during the build up to play if it takes time. Perhaps impatience isn’t the right word for it, it’s more anxiety and nerves!

The creature certainly took time to get into. It’s not really rocket science the longer it takes to get rigged up into something the more the anxiety builds and the fear and the personal doubt.

This girl had most definitely wanted to try the creature again, given she’d felt on the last holiday it perhaps hadn’t gone far enough because her reaction to it was rather overwhelming and perhaps made it a bit strange.  So, she got into the latex catsuit TLC had made for her as a wedding present, a mask, rubber boots and gauntlets. It got hot very quickly! She was then harnessed up into it and wired up pretty much everywhere you can think of.

Perhaps its not evident in the picture but the rig weighs a hell of a lot and being in latex as well meant it got quite warm so it was nice to take a break!  It takes a good chunk of an hour to get into the creature so all sorts of things were going through this girl’s head most of them relating to wanting to back out of it!

But, really, in some ways it was the same as something that happened in Whistler. There, Grimly and thisgirl decided to go on the zip lines which are very high up in the moutains and strung between douglas firs, rivers (and sometimes bears! – though  none were spotted). Just before one of the biggest zips this girl really wanted to back out and go and get the van back down the mountain, but it would have looked stupid especially when the Mum of one of the guides was doing it! So she didn’t back out of that – and it was amazing! The adrenaline, the view, everything, it was one of the best experiences of her life and one of the best days. It’s like you buy the ticket – that’s it, that choice is made the rest is to just enjoy.

Well the creature was in many ways similar. A very good day and certainly one of her best ever kink experiences.

Self doubt is just one of those things. Especially when faced with something that is supposed to be terrifying , electrifying, stimulating and exhilirating all at once. She could easily have backed out of it, but she would have felt as stupid as she would have if she had driven down the mountain in a van instead of flying through the air with her life in her hands….and yes, she would have missed out! The thing is of course on both occasions Grimly had her back. Perhaps that is what makes all these things such an adventure…having someone to share it with – whether it be by suffering things at his hands or whether it be sharing thrilling things with him on a more equal basis.

The thing is, after a while fear and anxiety can sometimes become a turn on by themselves, and the anticipation becomes welcomed and less stressed and each level of kink that is added takes away a bit of the uncertainty. This girl really was a bit anxious of the creature, wondering whether she would be able to take what it would throw at her this time, but it’s not the machine she needed to worry about – it was her husband lol.

To be continued…..

A creature of habit

This girl and Grimly spent their honeymoon with JG Leathers over in Canada. Some of the time was spent with Serious Bondage in San Francisco, and some over on Vancouver Island, but this girl ensured there was time to thank their host….

JG Leathers is best known for a device called the ‘creature’. If you have been reading here a while you will know that this girl experienced it when she and Grimly visited Canada in 2009.  The posts that are about that start with this entry here. Though of course there is always the potential of new readers, so of course it warrants a brief explanation.

For those people into BDSM activities such as electroplay, suspension, heavy bondage, breath play and sensory overload it is perhaps one of the things out there that encourages even a hard core player’s mouth to drop in amazement and leave them left with the thought ‘God i’d love to try that, but it will never happen’. Well you know, for this girl it did. Three times now, and well, the third was the best, but more on that another time ;)

It is a custom made leather bondage harness, which is fully suspendable in a very secure and elaborate fashion with a network of garage springs.  Breathing is controlled by a gas mask connected to a regulator and other intimidating looking medical machines. Electric suction cups are then fixed to the breasts and then the female, electric dildos, or for the male an electric butt plug and cock sheath. Well this girl is not go into too much detail about how all the electric cock stuff works because its far too technical lol but suffice to say the controller allows ripples of electricity to go up and down the shaft in either a pleasurable fashion or a painful one dependant on the desire of the person at the controls.

That evil controlling bitch on two occasions now, has been this girl! Last time she was in Canada she had STEFFY strapped up, but felt so guilty leaving him tenderised and tortured that she felt if she had another go at being behind the controls she could only do so if the victim (sorry volunteer of course!) was the creator himself since there is no better person to understand the consequences and to be enthralled by them.

There is one fundamental difference between JG’s creature and Grimly’s chair. Apart from the fact that the creature is suspendable. JG made the creature primarily for his own torture. Grimly, and many other kinky engineers out there make equipment to torment other people. For JG, the fact that other people enjoy being tormented by it is an added bonus but not its primary function, which is why it was quite important to this girl to give him the chance of a ride in it especially since he does not have a regular play partner.

What he does have is an absolutely fantastic wife who doesn’t share his kink but understands it and is welcoming of friends who share it. Whilst most vanilla women would turn away from men who wish to pursue kink she does not and embraces it as another facet of the man she loves and encourages his interests. As he does hers.  This girl tries to take that viewpoint when Grimly gets obsessed with aircraft porn and boats, but well heck, she’s not been married long enough to be good at that!

Oh perhaps this preamble is making this girl sound as though she was doing something utilitarian and selfless. Well you know, that is not at all true, yes she wanted to do it to do something special for a friend, but well, she’s an evil twisted bitch as well and she WANTED to for her own sick twisted purposes (of which she has many!) This girl can quite honestly say there has never once been an occasion where she’s gone into a session with someone not wanted it, at least, not since the very early days of her forays into BDSM when she found it hard to say no.

Grimly helped this girl rig the creature, since it is quite heavy and complicated, but he left before the fun began and let her do the fine tuning *cue evil laughter and thunderclaps*

This girl has said before that she is sometimes not all that confident with the domme thing, not unless she really knows the person and is familiar with the kit. So, being put in front of the controls was pretty daunting in itself, but she spent time being shown what was what and understood the basics, but it is a complex and dangerous piece of equipment.

Some people might think it is easy to sit on a chair and twiddle a few dials but it really is not, when you have to watch the signs to ensure things are okay, most of all breathing and other essential comforts ! Partly because she was concerned about going too far she perhaps did not go far enough, keeping things relatively moderate and then just inflicting extra torments now and then.

Watching the person in the creature that it was made for was a great deal of fun. This girl is very much envious of JG that he has the ability to make his own visions come to life for his own torments. He has no one else to blame! This girl on the other hand has one very twisted hubby to blame for everything! This girl is still working on expanding her own creativity but it is something that will take years to develop rather than months, the sewing machine still sitting forlornly under the stairs. Seriously THAT is one of her new year’s resolutions. That and a degree.

Anyway, digressing too much.

The view from the controls was spectacular. Especially when the vacuum and the electrics were causing his body to involuntarily bounce about and shudder in the springs. This girl has never had that much physical power over someone at just really the touch of a button and it was very erotic to have that especially as her opportunities to be on the giving end are so limited.

This isn’t really a complaint, its more a choice since this girl prefers being at the centre of sadistic and twisted attentions, but once in a while ,they do say its good to experience it from the other aspect and nothing could be truer than that. We are all creatures of habit but sometimes it’s good to vary the habit a little and add a bit of something different.

A review of 2010

Well as this year goes out here is the review of this girl’s year of pervertery, with a bit about each month and a quote from the first blog of each month also! Feel free to browse the archives and the photo galleries for more info if you want to!


This girl started the year at a new year’s party trying to turn back time, by going upside down on a rotating bondage wheel! Mainly because she wanted to stay 29 a lot longer, as 2010 was the year she turned 30 and also because it was fun anyway :

Lots of countries and cultures have special traditions at new years from fireworks to singing auld lang syne and kissing that special someone to maybe some slighter more bizarre traditions.”

This girl also wrote about how Grimly is the man of her dreams despite being evil , twisted and down right insane!


February was this girl and Grimly’s fifth anniversary:-

This weekend was Grimly and thisgirl’s anniversary of first playing together. FIVE YEARS AGO!  What happened back then…“…….. the highlight for this girl was at bed time.

That first time this girl had woke him up and chucked a load of cold water on him, this year he got revenge!

This girl also wrote a post about romance in BDSM for Subwise she also wrote a couple of posts about dolls and about people transforming into the fantasy image of themselves.


Traditionally question and answer month :-

The questions were :

Do you think kink.com is a moral site? Is moral porn possible?

Grimly, have you ever thought about mass-producing, marketing and/or licensing any of your creations?

Do you think body piercings were a good addition when it came to play?

My question is do you try and strain to delay the effects of the predicament, or as a masochist. do you try and make it hurt more.

This girl also started the first of a few installments of a story written mainly to seduce a certain person! So far those efforts havent’ come to very much apart from flirting but maybe in 2011? ;)


This girl was struggling with keeping up with the blog in April after a particularly long and depressing winter :

“To be honest, keeping up with this blog is getting a bit hard for her, its got to be a sort of chore, rather than fun. And, if it was up to her alone it would have ended. Though of course, it isn’t”

This girl also made a surprise visit to Grimly’s.


This girl had made a few visits to a fetish party in England this year (unfortunately due to a load of scene politics and bitchiness now going on with the venue there are unlikely to be any more visits there) :-

“This girl and Grimly went to a fetish party they semi-regularly attend a couple of weeks ago. Given they hadn’t played much prior to that this year, they decided to make the effort to try and play there…..”

This girl and Grimly and fellow scots Alternative Mindsets also went to stay with Geetwo & Maxi who had JG Leathers visiting, and this girl got to torment Alternative Mindsets in the creature harness…

Grimly also collaborated with JG…


This girl invested in an eroscillator after having a small windfall of money burning a hole in her pocket :

“You’ll remember this girl asked your opinion on what she should buy with her £100. Well. This girl chose her need for intense orgasms over bondage (on this occasion)”

It has ended up being very useful! Also, this girl and Grimly went to the BDSM scrapheap challenge – which unsurprisingly he won!

This girl also started being a guest author on submissive guide.


This girl wrote about her interrogation fantasies :

“This girl has had an interrogation fantasy for a long time. Possibly it can go all the way back to being linked with what (with hindsight) can be seen as her earliest thoughts connected with BDSM . It’s what she remembers first – being aroused by old films with that sort of scene…”

Grimly unveiled a new harness he had made based partially on the creature, and also made a ‘robot mask’ which was then used to terrorise Alternative Mindsets when she visited with her partner….


This girl started the month with a really good brainwashing session :

“This girl had mentioned in the last post about Grimly’s dentist chair and its various attachments. Recently, Grimly tried out *most* of them on her!”

Also when Grimly and thisgirl had visited Geetwo’s in August , Captive Kink who lives not far from them also visited and took some pictures of her in the new harness and her pony gear :


This girl was struggling with her submission a lot this year, because although she’s done a lot of bdsm and bondage it had sort of drifted a bit , hopefully it will be fixed soon!

“This girl has been having quite a few thoughts lately about whether she really fits the submissive, or indeed, the slave label. Partly because of that she has been slowly finding it harder to orgasm when he calls her slave”

Grimly was also a bit out of sorts and this girl tried to nurse him better!

Captive Kink also visited in September and took lots of pictures in this girl in various straight jackets and armbinders :-


This girl reflected on her first bdsm experiences :-

“This girl has been thinking recently about her first experiences in BDSM. Probably because just a few weeks ago would have been really eight years since her first experience, well, maybe, dependent on what you count her first experience as being.”

It was also the fifth annual love our lurkers day – thank you all for your amazing comments!

In addition to posting a lot of the pictures Captive Kink had taken in September, this girl also posted a halloween special of Grimly kidnapping Alice in Wonderland :


This girl wrote about being in a long distance relationship

“Quite a few people ask about how to survive a long distance relationship. To be honest, it is very difficult and very frustrating. But on the other hand, can have its rewards.”

This girl also had a few very intense sessions with Grimly to try and fix her submission and headspace a bit!


The snow wreaked havoc with a lot of this girl and Grimly’s kinky plans in December :

First of all, sorry for the delay (and decreased frequency) of posts recently. As you might see from the blog it is snowing here! and may well be for the forseeable future. boo hiss!

to the point it became a slightly pressing issue :


This girl and Grimly ARE getting married in 2011 and also going back to Canada to stay with JG Leathers  (& visit the USA) as part of the honeymoon :)

Hopefully, all being well, Grimly will move down here before becoming this girl’s husband and is hoping to set up a new workshop and playroom. So ….watch this space!


The Creature Vs The Chair

When this girl and Grimly went to Wales last week Grimly gave Geetwo his original dentist chair which Sue got to try out in combination with the creature harness.   The chair had been lying under the bed out of use for a while, since Grimly got his current one which is quite a bit more extreme. The one Grimly gifted has all the straps, and electric points but it hasn’t got the full works the one back home does.  Seeing the combination though got this girl thinking about how the chair measures up to the creature.

She is quite relieved she didn’t try it herself given this very worried look on Sue’s face!  Yes this girl would be worried too in that predicament:-

This girl had not heard of JG Leathers or the creature before she met Grimly. In fact the stuff she had come across before meeting Grimly was pretty mainstream. Just you know, light bondage, tie and spank things like that. She didn’t know such nutcases existed out there. People that can take things a bit further. To the next adrenaline rush.

Grimly however had known about JG for about a decade before hand, and had for a long time been inspired by the creature and JG’s other complex ideas. Though back then he never thought he would have a sub who would have experienced it. But this girl has. But she experienced Grimly’s chair first.

This girl was seated in the  original chair, which now belongs to Geetwo & Maxi, when she had her first major experience of electrics i.e. wired up with electrodes connected to the ET312. And also, her first experience of his home-made fuck machine. Was it that experience or the fact that he was so much fun in many other ways that kept her coming back until it was too late to want to do anything else?

The Current Chair has the ability for electrics to be connected into it, and is compatible with vacuum suction, breath play and holding a vibrator in just the right place! A fuck machine can also be mounted, and the chair can be used in combination with gas masks, or Grimly’s brainwashing mask (which has built in leds which give  a flashy light strobe sensation) which works in time with electric shocks and music, or the video mask  in which the recipient can either watch themselves be tortured or watch whatever the else the twisted git wants them to!

Visually, the main difference between the chair and the creature is suspension. The suspension on the creature when in its full glory is amazing. Its like being in a kinky baby bouncer, although that makes it sound relatively friendly – and its not!

Being in the creature feels pretty much like the name applies. You feel as though you become part of something else. Part of a machine, and you feel controlled by the machine, not so much by the man at the controls. It takes over totally, unrelenting. At times, this girl found it a bit of an attack, especially on her tits, the suction being much stronger than what she is used to at home. But, torture is one of her fantasies, and tortured she was!

The idea of it is more or less every part of the body is stimulated and that the stimulation is all controlled centrally. Though, most of its stimulation is based upon what would stimulate a man. This is not in any way a criticism, since it was built by JG for his own enjoyment and creative journey, and it is amazing that he even lets anyone else try it.

The chair however, has been built by Grimly for this girl. JG said last week how lucky this girl is and how jealous people are that she has the man who builds these mad things around her fantasy to custom fit, body and mind.

It does fit her mind. The brainwashing mask element of it particularly, in that this girl’s fantasy is to have her body stimulated and tortured, and her mind twisted into submission. This girl is not so much the natural submissive, but yet it is there lurking behind loads of other mental issues it just needs to be coaxed out. The chair allows that to happen. This girl feels relaxed, and safe in its bondage, until he starts pressing those buttons and using the microphone on the mask to whisper implicit suggestions into her head. Well ok sometimes they are explicit too ;)

It fits her body too, having the fuck machine there and having clitoral stimulation helps that. The sheer pleasure of that sort of balancing out whatever pain from the electrics and vacuum. Its that combination that works for this girl, being mentally brainwashed at the same time as being driven towards intense orgasm whilst being reminded that her body is restricted to what he wants to happen to it.

In this girl’s head there are many many positives to each piece of kit. The chair could never beat the creature as such because after all, it was inspired by it, but modified to fit what Grimly had available and what suited his and this girl’s needs. Elements of both could be combined though to make something perhaps even more amazing.

The idea of being suspended by the springs whilst being fucked and buzzed and zapped and pummeled at the same time as being brainwashed via the mask connected to a mission control centre like JG’s would be amazing. This girl knows that is something Grimly wants to have all that overkill controlled in one place, and possibly all by computer and all electronically. So instead of maybe having all those knobs and buttons just have one big computer to just be able to sit and relax whilst supervising his deviousness.


Is it good or bad that they’re friends….

More on Grimly’s chair and inventions here


More on JG Leathers here

The creature revisited

** AKA The holiday pictures you never saw **

Whilst in the company of JG Leathers last week this girl got to see the creature again. This time, its rider/victim being the lady behind Alternative Mindsets* It was very interesting to see someone else in not so much her shoes, as her harness, and quite a turn on too!

The version of the creature used was mainly the leather harness, together with breather bottle and breast cups. So it lacked the added elements of the bouncy garage suspension springs and the electrics, but it looked amazing all the same.

It made this girl think whether she wanted another go of the creature after having tried it twice in Canada, and the way she is thinking at the moment she is hoping that she will have the opportunity but maybe with some adaptations that might be possible with a trans-atlantic collaboration. The first time this girl went in the creature it pretty much shell shocked her. Like being in a machine. Taken, and violently. The second time she was in a much more comfortable position and so it was a much more enjoyable ride. Being in the whine cellar at JG HQ was amazing, but the creature retained its presence this side of the pond also encapturing its new victim just as nicely.

The idea for this girl to dress up as a pony mistress was partly because sunday afternoons pony play was rained off but also because the harness alone is part of JG’s horsewoman interpretation as seen in pony girls at the ranch.

However, this girl found it a bit difficult to get in the role. It might have worked better if it had been outdoors or if she hadnt been in the presence of so many higher skilled dominants.

Sometimes getting into a dominant headspace is difficult for this girl. Well, saying that sometimes getting into the right submissive headspace is hard as well!  This girl has often joked with Grimly how she would quite like to dominate him just once (these fantasies she gets normally involve buggering him) but the joke quickly fades when he puts her in her place. Literally and physically.  Grimly has always said that if anyone was to dominate/top him it would need to be someone that he wouldnt be able to second guess. That he wouldnt be able to see what’s coming, and that would have inventions equal to or madder than his. How many people like that are there? (add to that they would need to be female and attractive) This girl knows that she doesnt fit the criteria for being able to shock him.  He would see everything coming a mile off.

However, this girl can’t blame him. She would be the same if she were looking for another dom or considering one for play. For example, she’s quite happy to play with JG or Captive kink but some random at a club with a flogger and a st andrews cross – no way. In a way this girl feels bad that she’s been possibly spoilt and has a bit of snobbery going on but then in any aspect of life you get use to standards you are comfortable with and want the same or better. That also and bdsm is a sensory adventure, like an addiction always looking for the next rush , the next hit and a mediocre scene in a fetish club just would not meet the bill – it would be like taking paracetamol when you’re used to morphine to use a pain killer as opposed to a paingiver for a metaphore.

Since this girl started playing with Grimly she has felt pretty much inadequate as a dom. In a way thats a good thing because it encourages to focus on her role as his submissive, which is her main passion and her main fantasy. Its maybe also because she compares herself to him, she compares her skills to his and just doesnt feel as though she measures up in that regard. Though, even when she tried to pro dom in a place where the other doms were of equivalent skill she didnt feel right either but then there were other reasons why that didn’t feel right.

This girl never wrote about this before (mostly because of not really being fussed with the blog for the first half of this year too much  and forgetting she had unfinished bits of what happened in Canada – and she doesn’t like to really write much about being dominant – since she really ISN’T) but she did have a rider herself in the creature thanks to JG’s hospitality. The rider shall remain anonymous for now unless of course they should choose to unmask… It was very kind of JG to allow it since he is quite picky about who he allows to use the full ensemble and for that this girl is very grateful.

She is not going to pretend that the rigging was her work because it wasn’t. She was merely the lab assistant and controller once the rigging was completed and it was the absolute full works.

The pressure this girl felt to be in control of the creature was unbelievable. This girl is a firm believe in the importance of safety during bdsm and just the amount of things to be aware of was daunting. Well, you can see the control panel in the picture below. ET312 x 2, vacuum, suction, breath control. The lot. Monitoring all of that whilst having the occupant dangling three metres away and making the occasional convulsion or whimper. It’s not just the visuals of that its the noise as well. The session at the weekend just now didn’t have as much of that. It didn’t have the noise of the vacuum pumping or the breath machines…just the (relatively) more tranquil sound of the bubbler bottle strapped to her. The trick to the thing was working out from the moans and the whimpers what was good pain and what was too much, and what was just sheer overkill.

But you know, the whole thing is kind of overkill. That is pretty much the point, and, both this girl when she was inside it, and her victim, knew what to expect….and got it.

It didn’t stop her feeling guilty afterwards. For helping assist with something that was very much wanted and desired. But she did. The creature is unforgiving, it can leave hints of its tortures on the body afterwards, but then, perhaps no more than the amount that might be left from a good caning. This girl felt bad about that though, as bad probably as when she (accidentally) cut someone who was into cutting. In that case the person quite liked it but this girl felt bad because it hadnt been meant.

This is possibly why this girl does not assume a dominant role too often, since she either feels overwhelmed by it and worries whether she will live up to the person’s expectations, or on the other hand, that little sadistic monster somewhere inside might try to escape – and there most definately is one as poor Maxi the other day found out when this girl kept encouraging Grimly to add further torments to her bondage!

But , these things are of course done out of friendship and to share the adventure.

Hopefully these last few paragraphs dont make this girl feel dangerous, it really is the opposite since she has always taken great care to ensure any submissive she plays with gets what they’ve wanted in a safe and controlled manner – its just sometimes that little sadistic monster wants out!

The rest of what this girl has written about her visit to Canada is here

Friendships that bind

Sorry for the lack of updates recently, but this girl has had a relatively busy fortnight or so! About ten days ago she and Grimly took a trip down to see Geetwo & Maxi . Geetwo is a fantastic bondage author (this girl is reading one of his stories at the moment so  a reviewy thing might pop up at some point) but he is not so good at DIY! (which this girl can now say safely being two countries away!)

Grimly helped Geetwo finish decorating the playroom of his new house ready for the arrival of  a motley assortment of international kinksters including JG Leathers & Captive Kink fresh from their boundcon adventures.

It was really nice to see them again especially in a very relaxed setting. Though it may have been partly that relaxed as this girl spent about four nights in a row completely drunk but the excuse is that there was an anniversary party as well as a belated (and upcoming) birthday celebration or so too amongst the group. Today, the result is a very big hangover and a general feeling of suspended animation as the fun has all stopped :(

But yes, it was a very relaxed chilled out week, with the occasional bit of play and daftness scattered here and there and it reminded this girl how much her friendships mean to her. Despite meeting people sometimes as a result of a crossover in kink and fantasy it is possible to often find more in common than that. Things would get very boring very quickly if the only shared interest was kink. Its part of the reason this girl has not enjoyed munches that often since the extent of the conversation seems to be ‘what are you into i’m into …..’ and not much more than that once the person you’re talking to files you away into that play with , fuck or avoid category. But, there are people such as these where she has been able to find much more common ground than the one thing.

Though…going to a local castle with two devious bondage inventors and an erotic author is definately not something you do everyday ;)  Especially with amazing cheesecake , and then a bit of bondage for afters.

Grimly and thisgirl also introduced everyone to the wonderful lady* behind Alternative Mindsets** and her Dom who came along. It was interesting watching someone else get a ride in the creature and useful for there to be someone else to divert the twisted trio’s attention ;)

*possibly a code phrase for hiding this girls not so hidden agenda ;)
** check out her blog for pictures and a story about JG & the creature.

A review of 2009

Well as this year goes out here is the review of this girl’s year of pervertery, with a bit about each month and a quote from the first blog of each month also! Feel free to browse the archives and the photo galleries for more info if you want to!


The first few posts of the year were about this girl’s thoughts on punishment and about how that doesn’t really work for a masochist when its what they love :

“The biggest problem for this girl always has sort of been – pain isn’t necessarily a punishment. Its a thrill, a turn on, its sort of what she does. Being hurt mostly isn’t very often a reason to not be bad.”

This girl tried to define a bit more about what it is she is :

“At the moment this girl would say, being brutually honest, she is a masochist, and one who loves intolerable pleasure, which he is confidently capable of inflicting to all sorts of weird specifications

There’s more to it than masochism though. More to it than being ‘done. Though if there wasn’t, it wouldnt matter, as long as both were happy.

This girl is also a lover of being controlled, of being brainwashed, and of feeling as though she is *his*. She likes play being combined with reassurance of who is in control and of the fact that he can push amazing little buttons in her head with orgasmic results”

Grimly made a stockade for the fucking machine :-

January was also the month the UK started a law dubbed as being a ban on porn and certain sections of the kink community when a bit insane about it, but so far it seems a fuss over nothing.


“She’s hungry for Grimly, its true. Lately, its sort of almost worse than ever. Just the idea of being with him, is what keeps her kinda going, and maybe its wrong to have a life of wishing it away to the next visit…but…its better to have that then some sort of totally impossible fantasy right? At least its real and not all some sort of elaborate daydream in her head”

and also possibly this girl was gagging for it :


whilst Grimly decided it would be fun to do a bit of a head fuck by making her think he was going to shave her head


The discussion on chastity resumed :-

It’s one of the main topics that makes this girl question her submission because she really wants to rebel against the idea. Part of her really  hates the idea of wearing  a belt. The idea of the discomfort, of the constant reminder….of the control. It scares the shit out of her. Given BDSM is such a thing so driven by sexual urges…controlling someone sexually is sort of the worst or best thing that you can do…a dream for him a nightmare for her!

This girl decided she should really bend over backwards to be more submissive :-

March was also Q&A Month. These questions were answered :-

“What if he asked you to do something you really REALLY didn’t want to do/try? Would you feel you have let him down or would you feel disappointed he actually made the request?”

“Well I’d like to know a few sessions that to you were most memorable, and maybe why they were(and if you would want to experience them again.)”

‘thisgirl how long have you gone being fucked by the machine?What is the most orgasms ?

When you are “screaming and begging for mercy” Do you really mean it at that very moment?If so, when do you come back round to thinking – That was fun, when can we do it again – ? How would you react if Grimly actually took notice and acted on your pleas for mercy, instead of just carrying on having his wicked way with you ??

Grimly, My woman is a wimp…she accepts so much and then pleads with her eyes/body language etc for an orgasm…and the wimp who is married to her can’t resist those pleading eyes or pleading Mmmmphs and fails miserably by satisfying her/himself!!How do you cope when This Girl pleads for penetrative release?

I was wondering if you’ve ever employed predicament bondage involving electro-play options for this girl – ie presenting a choice between muscle-strain and electro stimulation?  Or between two types of electro?


This girl’s headspace was still a bit cocked up :

There are times of course when this girl gets confused, times when she wants the D/s to be more evident, times when she wants it to be less so. Mostly, it’s balanced, but sometimes those distinctions can occasionally get a bit blurred

though she also started thinking about being a rubber doll after making arrangements to meet with STEFFY and had a fantastic time in Wales over Easter ponying including using a plough and the guide dog below


This girl did some spanking modelling for her friends at Northern Spanking after having not done it for a few years.

“It was the first time in around three or four years this girl had done it, so, she was a bit nervous about it but it certainly became very fun and very interesting, very quickly. Mainly because a lot of the shoots involved working with a very pretty girl with a very rosie bottom and rosie lips ;) It reminded this girl that she is DEFINATELY bi-sexual lol”

This girl and Grimly also experimented with her sleeping in the chastity belt. The biggest highlight of the month though was another pony play day which was indoors but had enough room for racing and other fun.


The blog was 3.

“This girl didn’t really expect the blog to have lasted as long as this, given it started out as a pretty personal thing between her and Grimly and as a sort of anonymous voice. To a lot of people this girl is no longer anonymous. Quite a few people know the ‘real’ person behind the kink, and that’s rather nice. This girl considers sometimes whether that makes her censor things a bit more, but it doesn’t really since those people have gotten to know her for who she is warts and all”

STEFFY was over from Canada.


But the whole BDSM thing is an elaborate game or fantasy. This girl has pretty much learnt that the whole idea is to really see how far you can explore this concept of pleasure and pain. How detailed you can make it. How alive it can become and how much you can make yourself believe in it for that moment. This girl is not one of those ‘lifestyle’ people. This is not her life. This is part of it. A significant part, but not the pivot of everything. Grimly owns her, and she belongs to him – but that would be the case with or without all this amazing paraphernalia.

After the experience with STEFFY, this girl thought again about her sadistic side – and has more or less decided thats best staying dormant!


The blog hit 1 million views!

“The comments of course mean more though, since stats can just mean people have hit it by accident whilst looking for some niche porn interest and have maybe left not getting what they were looking for. So,the feedback is great to get and is always appreciated whether it be by public comment or email.”

Grimly ‘celebrated’ by making this girl a stainless steel chastity belt and she also got a new catsuit designed to be compatible with the sort of play she and Grimly do.


Prior to going to Canada later in the month, Grimly & this girl played about with the musical capabitlities of the ET312

“So one of the last new things experimented was musical electrics. The ET312 box has the capability for pulses to be synchronised with sound. So, this girl took her keyboard up to Grimly’s and he rigged it up to the electrical box, whilst she was strapped to the subby stand – which has electrical contacts on the top for her to sit on. It was interesting – because she could play tunes and get zapped to their rhythm”

This girl also wrote quite a bit about reading and had a bit of a mental session at Grimly’s before going to see JG Leathers

Her FLIckr got deleted but this girl has not missed it!


This Girl and Grimly returned to Canada engaged, after having had an amazing time in the company of JG Leathers & friends. Whilst there she got to try the creature, something she had wanted to try ever since seeing a picture a few years ago. Though of course other things happened, and this girl and Grimly met a whole lot of fantastic people.

“MY life is NOT going to be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely, in a pretty and well preserved body. I fully intend to skid in with my shoes on fire, a smile on my face,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,and loudly proclaiming”WOW!! What a friggin’ ride!”


This girl continued her write up of her Canadian adventures (though there are still more unwritten!) and wrote a little about escapology :-

This girl doesn’t really want to be an escapologist as such. She doesn’t want to learn about the weakness of a piece of bondage kit unless it’s something blindingly obvious to her. Since, thats not the point of it. The point of bondage for this girl is for her to feel in a secure and controlled place where she can wait for other things to happen. Things that she wants to happen, but might decline if actually given the option. That, and it’s erotic of course just by itself. Although, the straight jacket fella did hint that he enjoyed the jackets he couldn’t get out of possibly more than the ones that could be escaped.

She also went to a fetish party where she got to play with Gypsy, the pony girl again


This girl spent most of December playing with her new car after being inspired by STEFFY’S roadster

“This girl has been busy with having fun, working too much and this girl has a new passion as well! A new car! There is really not a lot of time or inclination for the internet at the moment since there are way too many other distractions.These pictures are *not* of what this girl has bought, but what she has got is almost as fun”.


This girl would like to keep it simple really, mostly just to build upon the friendships she’s initiated this year, get to some more events at least domestically. Though, if all goes to plan hopefully this girl and Grimly will sort out getting married!

Happy 2010 everyone

Previous years : 2008 2007