Has your Dominance ever failed you? Have you ever been criticised or received negative feedback for your Dominance? Have you ever regretted your actions or emotions as a Dominant either in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realised you made a mistake and, if so, what lessons did you learn and how did you apply them?
Sometimes I think maybe I am not dominant enough. Or not dominant enough in that moment. Despite how kinky you might think I am, there are just sometimes where I’m like ‘you know what I’m not really in the mood’. It’s not usually anything to do with other person I might be playing with, just i’ve had a hard day, or I’ve got stuff on my mind, or hate to say this, just can’t be arsed. Being kinky although a bit part of my universe, is not quite the centre of it. I feel maybe that is not great for a sub who is expecting my attention and I feel bad for that.
I’ve never received criticism for that though. I think most people that I’d be likely to play with understand that if the moods not right it’s not right and the play will be shit if you try and force the point. Sometimes its possible to get past the laissez-faire attitude and the enjoy it and it work, but sometimes it’s really hard. Like today, long day at work, then phone calls to a call centre about something personal, could I domme someone now? No I could not. I could possibly dom my husband into running me a bath I think does that count? 😉
Have I ever been criticised? I think there are people who maybe didn’t get what they wanted. Sometimes compatibility isn’t there. It’s life, it can’t be completely right with everyone. Probably the people who haven’t got the most out of playing with me are the same ones I haven’t got the most out of playing with. For instance I don’t like people who are stoic, who don’t react. I find it boring. I’m not saying they’re wrong to like their kink like that, just I don’t. I’d rather be criticised than ignored or slagged elsewhere, so if you didn’t like playing with me, that’s ok, just tell me. If you didn’t enjoy it I probably didn’t either.
The only actions I’ve regretted is the odd occasion when I have caused an injury or discomfort that wasn’t my purpose. I feel bad about that, even when the recipient enjoys it. Though probably accidentally waterboarding someone was a bad thing!
I learn from these things though, I think there’s always ways of doing things better and sometimes just saying well ok it didn’t work with that person and thats OK, because it can’t work with everyone.