What does trust mean to you in the context of Dominance? How do you inspire trust in your submissive?
A few things really I suppose. I’d like to think the people who I’ve played with me trust that I know what I’m doing. From what they’ve heard from others, or from my pictures or writings I hope they feel safe in that. But more so I hope they get this from actually communicating with me. I want them to feel a little bit scared and excited in the moment, but overall safe.
I usually don’t play with safe words, for many reasons. Mainly, I don’t think they work. If I can’t tell if something is wrong or isn’t working I think thats a bad thing. It shouldn’t be up to the sub to tell me if I can’t read it and also I think safewords give the subs too much of an easy out sometimes 😉 I’d rather people just trust me to communicate responsibly, whether that be verbally that they tell me something is wrong or not working or because of body language.
I’ve had scenes that have gone wrong. I think any dominant that doesn’t admit this hasn’t been entirely truthful. It could be a small mistake, or something that on any other day works for the sub but not for that day. I hope people I play with trust me to react fast if I see something is going wrong.
For instance, I tried to create a scene once based on a fetish drawing I’d seen. It involved a corset, neck corset, arm binder, high heels, nipple clamps, labia clamps, anal hook and a lot of chain. It was just too intense! But I’ve learnt from that I’d do it different another time, or in a different order. But the thing is, I got her out very fast and I know that she trusts me to do that, even if it means damaging the equipment in the meantime. I’d rather do that than damage a person. I’d also like to think she’d trust me to take her to hospital for treatment if something went drastically wrong, it’s unlikely to happen but I’d like people to know that I absolutely would. It would not be a Hooker Falls special.