30 days of dominance : Day 15

Day 15

Has your Dominance evolved over time? If so, how has it evolved for you? What do you attribute this evolution (or lack of) to?

Yes. I think everything changes and evolves over time one way or the other. How could it not?

I think it’s always possible to learn new things.

I would say to begin with most of my skills were related to spanking and corporal punishment type play. This was because I think, particularly in this part of the world, these are relatively easy activities to learn. This is in part because the toys can be obtained relatively cheaply and it’s possible to learn, to an extent, by trial and error. There’s also in most big cities, the occasional workshop. I was lucky enough though quite early on to become a model of northernspanking.com and I had very good teacher/s there. Particularly with using the cane and strap.

I’ve been with Grimly since 2005. Most of my skills I would say have been gained by him doing the things first to me. I think it’s good to know how it feels and watch how its done and also to have someone to discuss ideas with that I’m not afraid of judging me. I honestly do not get people who are married to people who ‘don’t understand them’ Probably most of the conversations I have with Grimly I feel like I’m talking to myself though, not because he doesn’t listen, just because we both have a very similar mindset to one another. How much of that is because we’ve been in a 12 year relationship and how much is because we were always very similar I’m not sure.

I get a lot of inspiration from reading things and looking at other people’s pictures both photographic and drawn. A lot of ideas I have are from my own imagination and certainly this has sometimes led to Grimly making things for us. I think sometimes I’ll still come up with ideas that he wouldn’t. For instance, he wasn’t expecting me to do the following:

We have a wooden pony which is electro-conductive, I put a microphone in a jar along with a bubbler bottle and put the erostek on the mic setting, this meant, when my subby breathed and got worked up she got shocked. Worked pretty effectively!


I’ve also been to classes, workshops, clubs, all manner of things where I”ve been able to see how other people do things and learn from that and ask questions. In that sense, improving these skills is no different from learning other skills – you seek out places where you can learn and people you can learn from.

I know there are many things I”m not good at. Some of them, I’m not very interested in learning (ie. needles, rope) but thats not to say I won’t ever. I think there’s always new things to learn and it wouldn’t it be boring if we always did exactly the same thing. I think Grimly will agree with me that part of the fun is trying to come up with something new that has the wow factor all over again, that’s a little unexpected.

I think it also has to be said that you also learn from the person/people you play with, what works, what doesn’t, what they like, what they don’t , what blows their mind. That is to be honest the best way of learning. Together.

2 thoughts on “30 days of dominance : Day 15

  1. I’ve always loved your creativity like that, very impressive! Having to keep breathing calmly and quietly or be zapped sounds like a fun predicament – to watch, anyway…

  2. wow!!!!!! such erotic creativity……….. oh my gasp! God…… love your blog,, and that mind of yours,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

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