I didn’t relate to the question for day 14, which was to do with whether religion has any bearing on my dominance, basically it doesn’t. I am not religious. I have *some* faith, but I am not what most people would call an active participant, so, the answer to that is pretty short. Instead, I thought I’d make this question this, since, indirectly it’s about faith in myself and confidence – : “What clothes make you feel dominant…do you need fetish wear to feel dominant?”
Nb, after yesterday’s 13th anniversary, today is the 1000th post!
Ok, so people who have read her a while might have picked up on the fact that I have some issues with my body image. Most of my life, I have felt heavier than I’ve wanted to be. Not massive, but heavier than I’d like and I’ve tried things to feel better, at times even achieved that, but I always seem to put it back on sooner or later. I know there’s people who will read my blog who are heavier, and will say maybe I have no right to say things about weight, but its all comes down to personal perception, not necessarily comparison to anyone else, whether those thoughts be rational or not. In my vanilla life, I’ll be honest and say also that I’m not particularly fashionable. I’d like to be more so, and when I achieve again, the weight I intend I will try act on that too, but it’s hard. I know that probably I do not stand out in a crowd. Also, on holidays, Im much happier being behind the camera than having my photo taken and in social contexts, I always am generally happier being a wallflower than the centre of attention.
Kink makes all that different. Most of the kink clothes I have make me feel more confident, but more so the people around make me feel good about myself too and it makes me feel more attractive than I do when I go sit in my office in my jeans. It’s more the reaction than the clothes I guess, but having things that make me feel hot possibly makes me look more confident, which in turn makes me more attractive to people maybe?
A few years ago I never thought I’d have the confidence to do this for instance:
I’d have never, had it not been for the encouragement of Grimly and our kinky friends.
I would say, for the most part, apart from the times when the outfit I choose doesn’t fit (rubber usually lol) kink clothes make me feel more attractive, more sexual, and yes, more dominant too.
I can easily be dominant wearing nothing, anything. I don’t need toys to do it, I can do plenty with my hands without needing an elaborate scene or outfit. However, looking the part I think makes it nice for the sub and also helps put me in the mood too. I think sometimes its’ hard to switch head space, and putting on almost a ‘costume’ of someone else, I think makes that easier.
I like a great deal of different types of outfit too. So, it doesn’t always have to be the same thing.
Obviously I like latex. Although, it is sometimes not the most practical thing to wear! Particularly if it’s hot, or what I’m doing is getting me hot and bothered!
Though, I like leather just as much.
Or uniforms, or all sorts really. Generally when I make an effort and ‘dress to type’ I feel good about myself and I think maybe part of that helps me be more convincing as a domme, or certainly helps me look the part!
I wasn’t really going to post another latex picture today, but I still think this is one of the most beautiful photos Grimly has ever taken of me, even though I”m about to annihilate him with snowballs 😉
But to make my point, I think kink and particularly how I look when I do kink gives me more confidence than I would have ever have had before and certainly yes, on the whole, makes me feel more in control and helps the headspace of the role.