Does your Dominance – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your preferred Dominant style as Taken in Hand, Domestic Discipline, Top/bottom, Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, Owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?
I’ve decided to give the 30 days of dominance meme a bash since I haven’t written much lately and it might encourage me! I’m sorry if this bores anyone, I’ll try to keep it interesting!
I’ve tried many times over the years to apply labels to myself. It doesn’t work really, or if does, just loosely. I don’t think the ‘submissive’ label really fits me anymore. That is, I don’t think it ever did since obedience doesn’t come naturally to me nor does following rules! There are aspects of my relationship with Grimly where I would say probably I am submissive but I don’t know whether that is submissive in a D/s sense or in a traditional marriage sense. I’ve given up trying to figure that one out, what we have works so that’s really all that matters.
Does ‘dominant’ fit as a label? I think mentally it fits more with what I am, though I am still also very much a sadomasochist liking both giving and receiving pain. So, switch, is possibly the closest label for what I am.
However, the question really asks whether the dominant parts of me have a label. I’d say, well, to be honest, it depends on who I’m with.
With some, I might just be Top. Arranging to put them in the predicament that they’ve desired. Like in this situation with my friend Medical Slave. Although, of course, even with new play mates like her really how things are is a little deeper than as usually there will be some level of D/s dynamic it just really depends on how far it develops and this is usually a slightly unmeasurable quality in a first or early play session. I certainly felt in charge of what was going on here, but I still think top probably the most appropriate description with a fairly new play mate.
There’s also times with friends where I’ll assume a top role with people who I wouldn’t dare assume to be ‘dominant’ of. For instance, my lovely friend jlatex. For the purposes of a video for Serious Images, she was my pony and pet here, but beyond this role for a video, Im definitely not her dom! Apart from anything else, I’m actually scared of her 😉 To be honest, you all should be!!!
I sometimes like having pets though as pet play is definitely one of my fetishes. I loved this bizarre bondage pet play scene i did with petgirl_kako at last year’s boundcon for another video. This involving a LOT of fibre glass. Totally my idea and it was great fun, but I came up with it knowing she’d have a blast 🙂 I’m not sure how dominant that makes me (or not) but I don’t care, it was fun !
I also like playing with my doll occasionally. Again a totally different dynamic, where she is the doll and I am the owner/person playing with the doll. How this works is that she likes being played with and put in different positions which please me and torment her, so strangely I enjoy that!
I also on occasion also like to assume the role of nurse/carer and have the bottom as a patient. This might be in the guise of crazed latex clad nutter or conversely as a more traditional nurse. Grimly and I quite like cosplay and dressing up and I have quite a lot of medical outfits!
Of course, on occasion I like the Mistress/slave Dom/sub more traditional dynamic without necessarily any other role play being involved. I think this sort of relationship only develops properly with a lot of time and effort and funnily enough, this photo of Anne O’Malley is EXACTLY 4 years old today! Bizarre! Though, at this point I had already known her nearly a year, but not seen her too many times.
I don’t really care if other people see me as a Mistress or a dominant or not, as long as she does then that is really enough for me. It totally does not matter what other people label me as. I’m sure you have your own thoughts if you’ve been reading my notes long enough. If people really must label me though, haha ‘feendish’ is the best label for Grimly and I both ;)I think actually with the right submissive dominance basically takes no effort and lots of effort at the same time. By that I mean I know with her she’ll do what I say if I just look at her a certain way or pull her to the ground by her hair but likewise it does take a lot of energy to keep such a relationship going this long too.