As part of question and answer month, Anne O’Malley asked :-
“I have a question which is sort of in lots of parts, it’s about Audience. I am always struck by how honest your blog is- It reads in a way that rings completely true, even more so the better I get to know you which I find really interesting because it can be so hard not to put a gloss on what you are writing or change things because of who might be looking at them.
Who is your blog for? I know when you set out you were writing it for Grimly and you, but has that changed?
How conscious are you of your audience when you are writing? Do you have a specific audience in your head- do you write as if it is just for you, and then people happen to see it, or do you write it to Grimly and let other people look in on it, or are you thinking about all the people who comment and read your blog?
Do you ever change what you write or how you write it because of your potential audience, and if so how? Are you conscious of presenting a particular viewpoint, or of explaining things clearly for people new to kink, or do you just write whatever comes.”
I don’t know. I’m sure its for anyone that wants to read it? Whose attention I can hold long enough? Or at least long enough to read some of the words and not just stare at the pictures.
Grimly bugs me the most when I don’t write it, since I still think he is fan no.1. As cheesy as this may sound, part of me in the back of my mind thinks if anything happens to me he can re-read what I’ve thought about everything we’ve done together about this aspect of our life that we shared and maybe it will be useful or supportive to him and remind him of what we’ve shared and the friends we’ve made together and how much I love the imaginative crazy parts of him.
Sorry, morbid! But to be fair, it is a record of what we (and that includes YOU) and our friends have done and even I like looking back on that. It is, essentially, a diary. Although, a slightly bizarre one.
Sometimes, I’m kind of conscious about who might be reading when I write. In the sense of ‘I won’t write that because XXX might read it’ or just that ‘that is far too personal I’m not putting it out there’ and those kind of things. Nor will I generally write negative things about specific people other than my ex partner (and even then I don’t really mention him anymore) since I could say ‘I hate XXXX’ and another friend might really like them , and then it just gets bitchy and ridiculous. Quite often I really want to write things like THE WHOLE FUCKING KINK WORLD CAN GO FUCKING FUCK ITSELF I’VE HAD ENOUGH…lol…but usually I delete posts that start like that. Umm. 😉 I edit the angst out. Or at least chunks that when I read them back sound ridiculous and completely irrational.
I suppose how I come across is important to me, words are important to me. I like words and linguistics and am a firm believer of the pen is mightier than the sword. I’m not great at grammar, i’ll be honest about that. I try and write as if I’m talking since I find that the easiest, but proper grammar might not always fit that, though I do make the effort to spell correctly where possible.
I think about those who comment, sometimes I feel I can predict what they might say,and I think particularly of those who might not have commented but have emailed me and told me that they live vicariously through these words and that somethings help them understand or imagine something they might not manage to ever try and I feel I owe something to those kind of people to share. Sometimes its hard though, like trying to explain what yellow is. Or that kind of thing. Sometimes the easiest way to explain something is to just say well I liked that, why? Because I did. lol
I hope sometimes it helps new people maybe understand that they’re not crazy, that it is healthy to pursue these interests and particularly that its fun with a loving partner (or partners, or friends).
I don’t have any ulterior motive though since I’m not here to make money or gain admirers. If I do , then thats good, but it makes no difference. It makes no difference to me if the stats say 100 or 1000 other than for passing interest. People either like what I write and agree with my opinions or they don’t. I don’t mind people not agreeing or even objecting to some of my opinions like I know a lot of people will object to my opinions about asian call centre staff for instance, but my opinion is formed from experience of that, likewise my opinions of kink are formed from experience that i’ve gained doing what I do. I don’t want people to necessarily agree with what I say, or try to emulate what I do just that from what I say about it they might at least understand it. Whatever I write about whether it be kink or anything else, I try and write as though I’m speaking to someone who disagrees or who doesn’t understand the subject, I don’t know maybe i have a stupid debate going on in my head.
Usually, I win those. Not always. Specially not the debates along the lines of ‘am I too ill to go to work today’ lol.