Bondage with friends

cs-lewis-quote-on-friendship

I think what makes bondage and bdsm the most fun is doing it with a person or with people you love and care about, whether it be a romantic partner or just sharing your kinks whether by playing or by just chatting about ideas with friends. Coincidentally I was tied up for the first time by my very best friend ten years ago today! Yep, its really been that long! Like a lot of people I went through a phase of not realising how many people out there had similar fantasies and it was a good feeling when I came to realise I wasn’t alone and actually that a lot of people are very passionate about this stuff, and not only that, that there are people out there who can make the stuff of dreams come to life and that a lot of kinky people are very intelligent, successful and diverse. Not,as the media portrays them to be. The majority of people have a healthy outlook on this. It is only a very small minority that are sexually damaged, abused, or predatory. It’s just a shame those kind of people are the ones that journalists write stories about. It’s also another very small minority that own helicopters, but thats another story that sadly this week is very hard to ignore!

Over the years, I’ve met some idiots. But the majority of the people I’ve met as a result of my ‘interests’ are lovely and people that would be my friends regardless of whether or not kink stays a shared interest and that I have other things in common with. Certainly, my husband is my soul mate for more reasons than the number of things he’s made me. I like his sense of humour, how he is with his friends and family, how he looks after me, all sorts of things that I couldn’t list. Like, how he supports me when I’m at my worst and how he smiles when I’m at my best.

I know from memos and emails that a lot of people are amazed by how lucky I’ve been in what I’ve got to try and who I’ve got to meet. You know what,  I’m amazed too! I ‘m not really anyone special I have a 9-5 job, a nice little house and a sensible car (plus a broken convertible but lets not go there please Mr Kc lol) and I’m not of model proportions. Nor do I make a ‘living’ from being kinky. Maybe I could have tried to more so in my twenties, as I had done a bit of modelling here and there, and I’ll still maybe do the odd project, but its never going to give me an income that allows me to give up the ‘day job’. My luck has been with who I’ve met and who they in turn have introduced me to. I was very lucky in finding Grimly, and in turn for him not blowing me off right away! I think we just had so much in common when we chatted and then later found the x factor or whatever you call it was there that things worked for us.

By Grimly being an exhibitionist, I found him, and by us together documenting our kink we came under the radar of people like JG Leathers. People who we’d admired for a while (Grimly longer than me since I was still relatively new when we started playing together) and that we never expected would be interested in us. Sometimes you know when you first talk to someone whether they are likely to be a lifelong friend or not, or whether the chat will run its course and then shrivel up. I think we knew pretty soon after talking to JG that we’d be friends a long time and despite him being probably one of the kinkiest people I’ve met, I’d happily do vanilla things with him and his wife, even air shows! lol I think kink is just a starting point for a friendship, just the same as how two people that like birdwatching might become friends.

In turn, JG has introduced us to quite a few other people, such as Mark of Serious Bondage, who we were luckily enough to visit during our honeymoon. We’ve tried over the years to do the same as well, introducing friends of ours to other friends of ours and helping people make connections. Quite a few people seem to find us, either through my blog or fetlife and I’ve found a lot of really close friends that way. A lot too who I exchange one or two emails with and then it fizzles out, but I think that is life.

The time we had at the Serious Bondage Institute was fantastic, and I’m reiterating this now because in just under a month my friends SeriousBondage and petgirl_kako will be visiting us along with a new friend well known bondage model EliseGraves. I’m really excited about their visit, we should hopefully do some fun photo shoots for the serious bondage website and maybe i’ll give you a sneak peak! 😉

I loved the whole atmosphere during the few days we spent in San Francisco. Probably because it was Folsom Street weekend, there were a lot of people around at the same time that might not otherwise have met, and it was a pretty cool crowd!sb

I think its great when you can go to an event and just feel as though there’s plenty of interesting people there that you want to get to know and spend time with. The party after Folsom Street was great because it was just a lot of people hanging out together, trying out different gear that was about the place, taking photos, and just generally having a good time indulging in the shared interests of bondage and bdsm. During the party, I must have had on three or four different outfits, different straight jackets, fiddles, tried 2 different suspensions rigs and goodness knows what else, not to mention tormenting my poor Belgian friend with smelly socks and peanut butter whilst he was unable to move due to mummification! I dunno, it was just a really great vibe of lots of people doing what they wanted and enjoying the experience together.

So, I thought whilst my American friends are over in the UK I would try and recreate that  sort of vibe. Together with the help of the people at Mars4 I’ve arranged a Serious Bondage all day party in the Manchester area on the 14 March:) I mean when I say arranged, I mean suggested really. I’ve not really arranged anything, I’ve just encouraged others into helping me enact an idea.  If you are a bondage gear head and live within distance of Manchester please think about coming along, though places are limited now to members, though its not costly to join. It’s possibly going to be full up soon as we want there to be enough people for it to be a good event, but not too many that the place feels crowded or that people get left out.  I have no idea how it will work exactly, just what I hope for and that is that lots of people that are cool will be in the one place, sharing ideas, maybe sharing gear,and there ideally being a few photo shoots that end up on the Serious Bondage site and that everyone is involved and everyone has a good time. I want to show Mark how us brits do this, so hopefully it all works out! It’s a great venue for being a backdrop if nothing else!

I’ve thought about this a lot especially since lately I’ve perhaps dommed others more than Grimly has played with me, just because of how life has gone lately with family issues and work and all manner of things, and I think the thing that makes me happiest is seeing my friends happy. Seeing them indulge in the things they enjoy,and especially if I’ve helped make that possible for them. Yes, as a top/domme I like being a sadist, I like being in control, but the thing that I like best as soft as it sounds probably is seeing someone happy even if they don’t know they are happy till they’ve had chance to digest what actually happened, if you know what I mean 😉 In that sense, I want everyone at this party to kind of go away from it afterwards thinking yeah do you know that was actually really cool, and a great gathering, so hopefully it works out!

Anyway, in the meantime, here’s a bondage hug (taken with my friend secretsmile101)

secret

9 thoughts on “Bondage with friends

  1. Very nice article, thank you. I especially like your gentle bondage photo. She’s a lucky girl.

  2. …I bet it has…for both of you !! 🙂

    Then again, if you really loved her, you’d sort that sports car out ! 😉

  3. Happy 10th year and may there be many more.
    The connection to you and Mr F that JG brokered has been an amazing one for me.
    Thank you for your input and friendliness to this old enclosure freak.
    I will be there at the party and wish you, Mark and Co and all the Mars4 crew the best of luck with the arrangements.
    I am happy for this to be my first rubber event. XSTX

  4. Wow, as a big fan of that lovely bondage bunny Elise Graves , i hope you have a great time with her and post the expected and inevitable i would guess, bondage pics from that rendezvous!:)

  5. I’m free for a couple of weeks after the 29th, if you want to brainwash me lol. Even have £32 worth of rail fare vouchers 😉

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