Live and learn

A question asked by email during this months question and answer session :-

“You mention a few areas that I would think you may want to consider more information to all. Perhaps expanding on more info and pictures. I see that you tend to practice breath play. I would like to suggest that you perhaps expand on an blog and photographs the A,B,C’s of this perhaps explaining your type of safe breath play that is performed. I get a sense of your equipment, however please see if you can a little more info on future blogs. Breath play combined with the heart rate monitor, perhaps advise where you find your equipment. Also on the bubbler bottle I am curious as to what you prefer as the liquid inside. I saw in a past post, you mentioned POPPERS in conjunction with the bubbler bottle, again, more info would be most appreciated.

Electrical play, great topic, I think, how about more on this area and last, do you play in any heavier , like .6mm latex? “

This girl does not want to give ‘advice’ on breath play. Whilst she is happy to share ideas to an extent, this website isn’t a reference guide or instruction manual, it’s essentially a free personal diary of this girl’s experiences. This girl and Grimly are both very experienced bdsm players having around 40+ years experience between them, but its not for them to say how to do it. For one, this girl would hate to think people would come to her saying ‘i tried what you advised to do and I did it wrong and hurt someone’. For that reason, this girl doesn’t want this blog to be about advice. Just experience. She hopes that makes sense, the detail given is the level of detail she is happy and comfortable to provide. She hopes that people see her images and ideas as things that are possible but are able to research things fully for themselves.

In answer to the question though, the breath play this girl and Grimly do is very controlled, mostly with gas masks and hoses and on occasion an oxygen regulator. This girl and Grimly do not use plastic bags, or nitrous or anything like that. It’s more about making it harder to breathe and more controlled than cutting oxygen completely. There are quite a few groups offering advice on the topic on fetlife, but given the dangers this girl does not want to be responsible for any advice/mis-advice, on one of the most dangerous forms of play there is.

Ultimately the thing about any play is to experiment and work out what is best for both partners,ensuring vigilance at all times to the well being of both.

A lot of the equipment Grimly and this girl have is home-made, but a lot comes from places like ebay so its just pot luck sometimes. Though this girl has reviewed a few of the shops she has used in the past for reference, and there will be  more of those to follow when time and shopping funds allow 😉

The latex clothing this girl has is of fashion quality, but some of it such as the straitjackets is thicker. It has to be for what it has to endure!

Part of the fun of kink is learning and experimenting for yourself. This girl has made plenty of mistakes over the years and bad judgement decisions, but that is part of being human.


5 thoughts on “Live and learn

  1. Bravo!
    You nailed a sticky question well. It is hard to find good and trustworthy kink advice, strategy, safety information. You are one of only a few like Mr. and Mrs. KC, and J.G., Serious Bondage, that are documenting in some ways your experiences, and giving honest feedback into taboo and edgeplay issues. So it is natural to try and get “information from the masters”, since there are few few who have actual instead of fantasy real life experience. Too many “experts” have a wannabe aspirations, but lack the hands on experience. I personally fall into that area, with limited hands on experience, yet a doctorate in “Kink classroom study” ( beyond having a real doctorate BTW).

    So your real and honest feedback about your experience is and has always been an exemplar about how this can and can’t work in a couples life, but should never be considered a ” how to” or “expert DIY site”, especially around edge play. Safe Sane and Consentual abounds, here. As well as cheeky humor, and insight into inner thoughts, from a couple who get it., And for those who look forward to your musings on a regular basis, we thank you.
    Dr. Tim

  2. Why thank you. And I’ll leave a comment here since you closed the cooments on the ask anything. You had differentiated between the physical and the psychological that physically you are sub, and mentally your preference is to be in control. After reading your work for so long, I throw out the hypothesis that you long to always be in control. With Grimly, you aren’t in control in many ways because your ability to be in control is no longer an option. But even then you remain in control where ever you can, until all you can control in in your mind with you imagining yourself being tormented to confess, or break down more than giving up control.

    I’m sure if Grimly imposed you had to stand in the corner with your hands behind you you would comply, but you would still prefer him to lock chains on you so that you have to remain. The great and crazy part of your situation is that Grimly has been able to move even beyond just controlling your body, but also intensely enough to control the mind and take that last vestige of your urge to control away. and that is a special gift and bond you both have to be able to get to that level of bliss together.

  3. I wouldnt say thats true I like surrendering control but only when it is conquest, defeat and surrender lol. poor man I don’t make life easy for him lol

  4. Being a control junkie myself, i appreciate also your underlying theme of being well controlled across myriad bdsm dimensions by your wonderful Grimley.

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