Byte me!

A wicked Wednesday post : the theme this week is biting

Some people say that just one bite of something can cause an addiction or desire for a certain taste or flavour to be repeated, and this girl was like that with kink, especially in relation to the internet – hence this title.

A few times she has had discussions with Grimly as to whether kink was ‘better’ before the internet when people met by word of mouth, through clubs, or through contact magazines.

He might be right, but then again he might not. Of course it might be a generation thing (just don’t tell him ok? 😉 )

However, had it not been for the internet it is unlikely this girl would have the husband or many of the friends that are now in her life.

This girl first used the internet in 1996 at college. Not long after that she discovered ‘chat rooms’ and guys looking for fun. She started talking to a guy who would be her first serious boyfriend on a geocities (yahoo) chat room in 1997 when he was in Karachi and met him and fell in love/lust? with him when she and he were both in London in 2000. It lasted a couple of years but sort of post 9/11 it all got a bit weird not because of 9/11 as such but because he was in Pakistan that week and she didn’t know if /when he would get a flight back to the UK and she sort of started realising that the relationship perhaps didn’t have a long-term future.That, and she had discovered kink a bit more too by talking to people online who could point her in the direction of places like Informed Consent.

She tried kink with him after he returned to the UK but he was not interested. Perhaps that was one of the final nails in the coffin of that relationship. It came to a natural and yes ok slightly acrimonious end (as these things do!). This girl doesn’t regret her relationship with him but with maturity and hindsight she understands he was not ‘the one ‘ for quite a few reasons, but that many of the memories are happy ones.

This girl hasn’t really had a serious relationship with a man she hasn’t spoken to online first, what it stays about her dating skills is probably negative, but sometimes its the easiest way to at least try to see if someone has the same interests before getting too attached – since you can’t exactly ask someone if they want to be tied up on a first date usually.

After that ended this girl learned more about kink and came across her immediate ex. Without going into all that history (again) let’s just say it was not ultimately a happy relationship and that if she could completely undo ever meeting him then she would. Having said that, if she hadn’t met him she wouldn’t have probably moved to Scotland, or then subsequently met Grimly.

This girl first came across Grimly on Informed consent which she has written about before. It was his words more than his pictures that spoke to her, and on chatting she was quite happy to meet him to learn more. The rest is history.

Had it not been for the wonderful invention of the computer though she might never have known of his existence.

Since then this girl has met quite a few people in real life that she has initially just spoken to  online either through her blog or from fetlife. People such as Trinity Pup, Captive Kink, JG Leathers and Bound in latex amongst so many other wonderful people too.

The internet is a wonderful invention since it makes so many interesting people aware of each other in a non-threatening way. What makes it dangerous though is curiosity. Wondering what people will be like to meet, or to play with, or to embark on a relationship with and then taking that risk or that chance. With experience this girl has realised there are ways of being reckless about that and ways about being sensible.

The pursuit of ‘kink’ though is an addiction, something that she has wanted since ever first becoming aware of it and something that she actively pursues with her husband and with her friends.

To her kink wasn’t better before the internet, because before that she didn’t know about it. She knew there were things that she liked and fantasies she had, but she didn’t know there were other people who shared those things and so being able to communicate with people and find out about events and happenings has helped make her fantasies reality. Living in a small yorkshire town she would have never ever found a demented and devious scotsman, apart from perhaps a drunk one on holiday wearing a kilt and ginger wig (scary)

Since getting involved with attending events this girl has now met more people face to face from all over the world and the net has been a tool for staying in communication across the miles. This girl’s grandparents were separated by his merchant navy job for many years and the only way they could communicate was by very slow letters or by telegram, if they’d had skype and email how much easier it would have been, though perhaps less romantic!

Somethings about the internet sort of worry me a bit like how many predators and malicious people are out there, and how some old-fashioned ways of storing information are suffering as a result (like libraries) but had it not been for its existence this girl would not have been able to meet as many people with whom she could share her fantasies and would not be sharing them with you either 😉

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9 thoughts on “Byte me!

  1. I can completely relate as if it was not for the internet, I probably would never have stepped on that airplane to San Francisco 2 years ago. I think the internet has not made kink or better, it has changed the way we experience it as well as our pursuit of it. This of course with all the positives but also the negatives but I for one am glad we have it 🙂

    And just to do justice to my nickname as sp**n, might just go ahead and tell Grimly you called him….. lol

    Great post

  2. Having been too young to be involved in kink before the advent of the internet etc, I can honestly say that if the internet wasn’t around… I’d probably have never fallen into the kinky side of myself.

    I think I was first introduced to kink by the internet through some random browsing, and well, that stuck. I’m a shy person in real life in a social scene – yet strangely work in retail, go figure – and having the internet to talk to people about my kinky side has helped me grow exponentially. Without it, I wouldn’t be the confident person about my kink that I am..

    I wouldn’t have found out about it, wouldn’t have read blogs like yours, and wouldn’t have realised that what I do is perfectly natural for myself and a heck of a lot of other people!

    So uh… three cheers for the internet! (Or would spanks be more appropriate. Hmmm)

  3. This is a wonderful Wicked Wednesday entry! It took me down memory lane of how I started out on the internet, and how many wonderful people I have met because of the internet. It also made me think of how many things I have learned about myself, my relationship and my kinks and all of that because of the internet.

    Thanks for sharing this!

    Rebel xox

  4. What an amazing post! Yes, so much of my romantic and kink life exists because of the internet – I consider myself very lucky indeed 🙂

    xx Dee

  5. excellent post. Oh the vile and evil internet how I loath and love it. Inflections can not be heard in a chat room but ideas are shared so much easier. It is quite the two edged sword.

  6. I love the internet. Without it I would never have met Sir. He was in the USA and I was in the UK, our paths would never have crossed and my life would never have been the amazing ride it is now.


  7. good post as one reads about this question quite a bit now as it definitely is a generational divide.

    i myself have been blessed to meet my last two Dommes via the ‘net albeit not kink sites actually so……

    the net has definitely provided an information dump for kink that was not there before it, as in the ‘old’ days so to speak, many of us labored to understand and comprehend what our own inner fantasies and desires really meant and what to do with them, whereas the net generations do not have that problem as the bdsm lifestyle and dynamic is outlined and explained right in front of them via keyboard, albeit though with much fantasizing and some suspect information too…

    it certainly does enable cross distance and international kink contacting which was impossible to fathom before as just over the recent year i have had nice exchanges with Dommes in the UK, SAfrica, Ireland, Australia, … al, that would have been impossible before so all good there.

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