The subject and inspiration of this weeks Wicked Wednesday post is ‘I have a dream’
This girl has written a few posts before about dreams. Her earliest thoughts of BDSM probably came into her head through dreams and subconscious fantasies following inspiration from books and films that had heroines in bondage or being tortured. She also has always had a love of history and perhaps a few ideas came from the past as well. Her history teacher used to describe medieval restraints and tortures quite vividly! This girl is convinced he might have been secretly kinky. Though, it’s probably best not knowing!
At the time this girl didn’t know her dreams would be any insight on how reality might be now. In fact, those dreams probably didn’t even make sense to her at the time, though dreams often don’t make sense do they? She was never worried about that though, since well, those early dreams turned her on!
A lot of her dreams in her mid to late teens and into her early twenties were reoccurring. She would wake up in the dream and find herself strapped down and masked men stood round her interrogating and torturing her. As a result of being turned on by that she would sometimes try to tie herself up and things but never acted on it properly until the advent of the internet. When this girl had those dreams back then she would never have thought they would be in any way connected to future reality.
This girl didn’t act on any sort of bdsm or kink fantasies till after she lost her virginity which was when she was 20. Her first serious boyfriend wasn’t interested in being a sadist, or dom, or torturer. Some men just aren’t into it though.
As a result though of realising from the internet that her dreams COULD come true this girl started trying to look for someone who could fulfill those fantasies.
Sometimes when you are desperate for your fantasies to be fulfilled and your dreams to come true you believe that the first person you meet that shows interest will be the answer to those dreams only to wake up and smell the coffee. That is what happened with this girl. Her first dom wasn’t any sort of reflection of what the men in her dreams were like, though it took some time for her to realise that since she was desperately trying to make it work. Mind you, some men should stay in dreams, or indeed in nightmares.
This girl came across Grimly on Informed Consent and he appeared to be someone who could fulfill those ideas that she’d had. Well, long story short, he was……IS. Actually, the reality of the life this girl has is better than the dream. In the dream the men were faceless and impersonal whereas in reality it’s always personal. That whole thing, it’s not personal, it’s business – well this girl never got that saying. It should always be personal, no matter what it is even if its work. Or at least, on some level. Certainly playing with him, being hurt by him, is personal. It’s not cold or clinical, its cruel and yet loving. Hopefully this girl is the same when she is the ‘evil one’ too.At least she’d like to think that is the case. The man of her dreams basically got a face.
The weird thing was that the man of her kinkiest most depraved dreams was also the sort of proverbial man of her dreams as well. Kind, loving, funny, adventurous, intelligent and all those things.
This girl has found that a lot within bdsm. There are a lot of special people out there. Who are exceptionally good at kink but also very wonderful people. She’s met people and tried things that she never dreamed of. Never could have dreamed of. Not even with her warped imagination and it’s pretty vast and unusual.
Well , that’s no bad thing 😉
This is probably this girl’s favourite song on the subject.
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