At sixes and sevens

On Sunday it was the sixth anniversary of Grimly collaring this girl and it will also be the seventh anniversary of the blog on Thursday. Normally this girl would post those two events as separate posts but it felt right this time to write about it all together and the title sort of fits some of her feeling on it.

This girl and Grimly’s collaring was at a fetish party and barbecue in June 2007 the original post about it is here. It will always be one of the most special and lovely days of this girl’s life as it was the first major commitment this girl and Grimly had made to each other and was witnessed in front of many caring and wonderful friends and a terrific party followed afterwards as well. This girl had wanted to feel as though she properly belonged to him and for that to be acknowledged by people from quite early on during the relationship probably because she just knew right away that she would never meet any dom or man for that matter that would be any better.

The collar Grimly put round her neck is pictured on this post, and this girl has worn it (since it locks on) most of the time since then apart from really during the last year when she’s been more unsure of whether submissive is indeed what she is. This girl wasn’t sure whether to admit that on her blog, but , it’s just being honest really. It’s hard to feel right wearing a collar when a lot of what you’re doing is more dominant or not kinky at all. Real life has got in the way a lot this last eighteen months. Though sometimes she has to wonder if she was wearing it regularly again would she feel more submissive is it like a sort of catch 22 thing?

Anyway, the collar is very special to her regardless of whether she is wearing it or not. The fact that it is so special and important to her is part of the reason why she isn’t wearing it right now. That might not make sense, but what this girl is trying to say is right now she doesn’t feel quite worthy of wearing it since she isn’t doing that many D/s things with Grimly. That’s not to say the relationship is any less loving. Over the years it has become more so, not less. Also any sort of BDSM play continues to be fun and rewarding as the pictures will show, it’s just the D/s thing is a bit unusual.  It makes this girl wonder whether really she has ever been submissive or whether she is just a pain slut and bondage toy. If that’s what she is then Grimly says he’s still happy since mostly what he enjoys the best is making  up evil inventions to torment her with.

This girl felt more relaxed wearing the collar when he wasn’t living with her. It sort of reminded her she belonged to him whether he was there or not and she could fall asleep holding it or look in the mirror in the morning and be reminded of it, or just touch it whilst sitting at her desk at work (no one at work ever commented on it!) whereas since last year she now actually his arms round her each night rather than the collar and that gives her that belonging feeling as much if not more than the metal. She will wear it again but when and for how long is really up to him to decide on. It still feels magical when he puts that collar or any other on her, in fact perhaps more so when he uses her leather one since he made that himself whereas the metal one was bought.

Sometimes people have commented to the tune of ‘well did things change when you got married’. Well maybe they did. For the better though not for the worse. Well, apart from anything else this girl had a wonderfully kinky honeymoon 😉 This girl isn’t sure whether being married in itself changes the balance of power or of the relationship, or whether things have just changed naturally over time since she has been with Grimly now over eight years which is about a quarter of her life. If things were the exact same as when she first met him then that probably would be a little odd and unnatural.  She most definitely didn’t turn round and think ‘I’m the wife so i’m the boss’ lol.

Ultimately this girl is not sure how things with Grimly will be in a year or ten years or twenty. What she does now is that however things are with him, she’ll still very firmly belong to him and love him whether the relationship can be defined D/s , M/s, BDSM, marriage, friendship or all of the above. Being collared by him meant committing to being together and belonging to him and like marriage is not something she would have entered into had she not been sure that he and what he can do with her is exactly the kind of relationship she wants.

So lately she has been more dominant perhaps with others. If anything that is partly down to Grimly too really because he took someone quite shy and damaged and gave her back a lot more confidence than she ever had before her ex destroyed it, and he’s also taught her a lot. Though, maybe she’s taught him somethings too. Maybe some doms would be threatened by their sub/toy/wife being dominant to other people. Though, Grimly is different he actively enjoys seeing people admire that side of her and also he enjoys co domming with her,mind you that’s not happened that often maybe it will in the future. It has been a fun game though with a few people in making them choose who is the nice one and who is the nasty one and tormenting them if they say the wrong answer…which obviously its always the wrong answer 😉 How dare anyone suggest  Grimly is nice?? lol

Well what this girl is trying to say really in this post is that relationships develop.

What she writes about now probably isn’t what she expected to be writing about when she started this blog seven years ago. However, many things have happened that she wouldn’t have expected for instance she wouldn’t have expected to make so many kinky friends – who, it is important to say, are true friends in ‘real life’ as well as kink.

This girl can’t promise what direction the blog will take, or what will happen even in the next year because honestly she doesn’t have a clue!

Though, she does expect a few more stories of her evil side coming out appearing soon, and she knows Grimly has also been busy in the garage so he always has a few tricks up his sleeve. In addition to that, JG Leathers is hopefully visiting in September and wanting a ride in the chair amongst other things. So, as always, watch this space.

You are welcome to always leave comments or ideas of what you’d like to see her or read about 🙂

Thank though all for your support over the  last seven years especially anyone who has read from early on .

9 thoughts on “At sixes and sevens

  1. Congratulations to both of you on both anniversaries! It’s always fun and interesting to read whatever you’re writing about here, and I am sure I’m not the only person who enjoys and learns from your straight forward honest way of talking about the complexities of your relationship with D/s. It was wonderful to see you this weekend too.

  2. Congrats on both anniversaries, I think your relationship is developing in the right way for the pair of you, and thats the main thing. Still hoping to see you sometime, though my money is on you being the nice one lol!

  3. I’ve only been reading your blog for 9 months or so but enjoy your words immensely. I agree that relationships evolve, and that’s exactly how it should be. With work and effort they become deeper and stronger and a state of flux is right if we don’t want them to become static and boring. The important thing is to love, enjoy the journey together and most importantly, stay lovely. Duncan

  4. Congratulations are in order!! Life is just a great journey who Knows what is around the corner.Wish you both a long and happy time together.Anne said it in a nutshell.

  5. Don’t worry about Collar or No Collar, just look at the ring on your
    finger whenever you feel unsure. Congratulations, 50 years to go !

  6. Once again the thought pour out, and the talk ain’t that sexy, but it is still facinating reading. Thanks again for sharing your inner thoughts. As you enter your 7th year, remember the reason behind this was to communicate with Grimly, and to share what it was like to be in your relationship. It’s been great reading about your 6’s and 7’s, but its time to be dressed up to the 9’s, preferably in a long term bondage….

  7. Things do change in marriage and in 24/7, but what is clear is that you are a couple who love each other and that fetish in one guise or another is very important to the both of you. Now admitting that you’re ” just a pain slut and bondage toy” does make the reader sit up in what was quite a calming blog entry!

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