The subject and inspiration of this weeks Wicked Wednesday post is the word promiscuity and what comes to mind with that word?


This girl doesn’t see herself as particularly promiscuous. The rest of the world might think she is, but she really isn’t.

This girl has not been with many guys at all, and apart from one really stupid mistake after her first ever fetish club the only guys she’s had sex with have been part of long-term relationships and she never lost her virginity until she was 20.

Its odd actually, she was having a conversation with a friend the other week just saying that she can’t see herself ever having sex or actually even a romantic relationship with another man EVER. Grimly is the man for her. Period. Her friend asked how does she know? Well, sometimes you just do. Sometimes you just know deep down that no one else is ever going to be the same. This girl’s family sort of traditionally mate for life anyway, not that it’s a reason for her to, but it seems to be the pattern. Her Grandad died when her Grandma was 31 and she never tried to meet anyone else, and this girl’s mum only really (as far as this girl knows) ever was with this girl’s dad. Regardless of that though, this girl just knows. He’s her soul mate. Simple as. See, even if it wasn’t for the BDSM and the D/s he still would be. She just knows that.

Ok, so she might be a slut *for* him and do kind of wild and sexy stuff, but that’s a different matter all together.

Some people might think this girl a bit of a tart or a bit of a slut for also engaging in D/s relationships with women. Whilst she doesn’t ever see herself being with another guy, she isn’t ruling out settling down with a girl if something happens to Grimly. She has some good friends who she plays with (and sometimes more than that) since there is a side of her that has fantasies that are in that direction, dominant, and well, dykey 😉

This girl is quite particular about who she plays with though. Like Grimly, anyone else she plays with needs to be intelligent, interesting and imaginative. There is seriously no point otherwise. Her play partners need to be people who spark her imagination in new directions, and well, she is quite lucky in that respect 🙂 Sexually this girl is quite odd about doing things with girls, since first of all she wants to be sure compatibility and chemistry is there, and then also she’ll only take play in a sexual direction if she sees the person first and foremost as a good friend and also if she’s satisfied it’s more than a sort of one hit wonder kind of thing. This sort of idea relates to anything from kissing up. There are people this girl has played with that she hasn’t kissed. Either because she hasn’t wanted to, or , hasn’t at least,yet. ‘Play’ is one thing, intimacy is another, D/s is another yet again. Somethings are worth fantasising about and building up to 😉 This girl likes inflicting anticipation, if that’s possible to do, but you know, just the right amount. She also prefers being a giver than a receiver, she wouldn’t let a play partner other than Grimly really even see her naked unless they’d been very very good and it feels right for the relationship. So, sexually, this girl is very cautious, but at the same time very adventurous when things do go in that direction.

So, promiscuous she isn’t. She’s very selective in who she plays with and how intimate that becomes. Intimacy is something she saves only for Grimly and for female friends who she has built that level of emotion with.

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13 thoughts on “Promiscuity

  1. Another great post! I have learned to be myself and not be what others think I should be. Life is far too short to worry. As about your nan my feelings go out to you. I lost mine in the 80s.
    Keep up your great work on the blog

  2. I really applaud you to writing this. Whatever you do it is not casual or meaningless. You have put a great deal of thought and care into your life and your blog. It’s obvious that you do this for the people around you as well. It is not surprising really. Quality BDSM does not come without a lot of thought and imagination. That it can come with a lot of care and self regard (indeed Pride) is a message well worth hearing. Does it mean you are or are not “slutty”. A phrase you used above gave an answer: a slut for your man. If people want a really good read on slut I recommend in all seriousness “The Ethical Slut”. A good summary is here

  3. I guess I’m pretty much the same way, when I stop to think about it. I really need to know the person I’m with or it just isn’t going to happen.

    Kazi xxx

  4. I have no idea what the future holds for me but for now I hope it is a very long one with Sir.


  5. I agree with you, you are not promiscuous. I hope that my Husband and I will have a long life together. Thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙂

    Rebel xox

  6. I find promiscuous girls sexy, but I find strong women who know what they want even sexier. Kudos to you. Grimly is lucky.

  7. It is always a great thing to know what you want and stick to it. Society tries to box people in, just laugh at the box and live.

  8. This is so very thought provoking. I like how you know what you want and how you get it.

    ~Mia~ xx

  9. Mmmmmm, dykey…. i like it 😉 Great thought-provoking post.

    Can’t wait to see you again soon hun!

    t-p xx

  10. nice point about the differences (with you anyways) between doing D/s vs. play vs. having intimacy with others, as that is a good way to think about those interactions depending on the other person….and also the way you try to balance being both adventurous with proper prudency :)— that can be an important challenge for all of us in this life/play style.

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