First of all to anyone still reading out there thank you for sticking around 🙂
Lately this girl hasn’t really had the inclination to write here , but she doesn’t want the blog to vanish either since it’s just really a matter of getting back into the habit of it really and writing is one of those things that this girl either finds easy and the words flow off the page or one word sticks on the screen for half an hour all by itself. For that reason this girl has never forced herself into too regular a blogging schedule since she doesn’t want the words to read as though they’ve been sort of forced out at gunpoint 😉
Life as usual is taking interesting twists some of which have been anticipated others haven’t.
Grimly and this girl have not really engaged much recently in a D/s or play sense and its hard to really know what points of the relationship are a normal loving marriage and which bits are slightly D/s ish as a result its lead to both Grimly and this girl to perhaps doubt whether Dom/sub are even the right labels for their relationship. Not that labels are important, they aren’t but sometimes they’re useful in trying to sort of explain what this part of life is about to someone. Its important to say here it doesn’t mean anyone is any less happy just that at the moment Grimly being dominant and this girl calling herself a submissive which is in honesty like perhaps calling a fork a knife, it will cut food but it won’t do it very neatly or efficiently by itself unless its perhaps a particularly lovely cake and that is sort of how this girl is feeling about trying to be submissive at the moment. Of course it shouldn’t be about trying to be anything, generally you either are something or you’re not…and perhaps she’s well, not.
Well most people go through these sort of self-doubt moments and perhaps its one of those, but in any event an adult conversation has been had about the subject to the point where the agreement is pretty much ‘we love each other and we love being kinky together it might just not be in the same way as we thought it was’.
Somethings however remain pretty clear, this girl and Grimly’s feelings for each other aren’t any less than they were last week or last year or four years ago. This girl is most definitely a masochist. Grimly is most definitely a sadistic. He likes controlling her, she likes being controlled and on a very basic level thats a start. In addition to that lately this girl has pretty much come to the conclusion she wants to explore being dominant a lot more, being sadistic to people is one thing (and good fun) but being dominant is a bit deeper than that so that is something she’s going to explore a bit more, so for a while this blog might be more an SM one and a dominant one than a submissive one but its honest real feelings and thats really all you need to know.
Whilst it may be sort of out of chronological sequence of whats gone on lately, yesterday this girl and Grimly had a friend over who insisted this girl was the evil one, compared to Grimly given both Grimly and this girl were being top at once. As if! However, some people do say women are more sadistic than men, and particularly ones that know what certain things feel like. Well perhaps that’s true.
In the past this girl saw most of her style as a top/dominant /label of choice as being more sensual and about giving the person a sensual and erotic experience. That still applies but lately with one or two people its gone a bit darker as well. Last week this girl got to participate in a kidnapping scenario with someone and realised that slapping a blind folded girl across the face and seeing the girl gasp and then smile was something she was unexpectedly aroused by having not really been into that sort of thing before. The kidnapping victim liked it particularly rough and given this girl and two men were being pretty nasty the victim seemed to enjoy herself and perhaps was not really that much of a victim but then the idea of course of consensual kidnapping is that they never are. Rough play is a pretty hard thing to do though, its a fine line between knowing how rough is rough enough and how much is too much and going past the line well like any bdsm play really.
Its just so so important to try and read people and adjust or stop a scene if something is going wrong even if they won’t say so themselves, its a lot of pressure actually but it doesn’t make it less worthwhile or less fun.
Well important to of course to communicate with your partner when one thing isn’t working but another does.
So really for now watch this space, its really anyones guess what might happen next 😉