Has your submission evolved over time? If so, how has it evolved for you and if not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?
Yes. This girl thinks it is always possible to learn and improve things even something you’ve been doing a long time. Things change really with personal circumstances, knowledge, experience, and meeting others and seeing what they do and perhaps taking things away from that.
Hopefully now is the time for things to evolve further, how this girl is not yet sure, it’s just really a matter of watch this space. Finally, she has a normal (ish) marriage and lives in the same house as Grimly. It is a big change from being in a long distance relationship. Ok , so 200 miles is not as far a distance as some people, but it’s very different to being in the same house and being together.
This girl and Grimly have read back some of the things she’s written recently, and this girl knows she often doesn’t come across as a very good submissive or perhaps submissive at all and sometimes she wonders whether truly it is the right word for going towards describing what she is. However, deep down she knows it is what she wants and what she wants to be able to achieve in a way that makes him happy. Perhaps the reason why this girl doesn’t always feel so submissive is because she and Grimly are just so compatible and perhaps she has gotten to taking that for granted too much.
Whilst being away from each other the times at his place ended up being concentrated on kink and the time at her place have until now been sort of just average couple time, lately those two sort of worlds have gradually overlapped more and more and have now combined so there isn’t a distinct separation anymore. Being apart from him made it easy to be in a sort of D/s / BDSM head space when she was at house and then sort of out of it when she wasn’t and back to being the ‘normal’ person that goes to work and does all sorts of mundane average things, but also it was easy to get away with bad habits perhaps because he hasn’t been here to stop her. Living with him is likely to be very different to that. Hopefully things will settle when all the house renovations are done (or a bit more of them at least) and there is a bit more time to get in some sort of routine and to make the most of life together. This girl and Grimly have now been properly living together about two weeks and in the process of getting the house and life a lot more settled and sorted out.
However, over the years this girl’s submission has evolved. When she first started out she found it very difficult to communicate what she wanted to him, and that at least has resolved itself, in addition to that she is a much more confident person and that is all due to having a good dom to look after her and encourage her with things both kink and non-kink. She has certainly learned a great deal as well between what she thought submission was in the beginning and what she understands and wants to try and live by now.
This girl has a great many good intentions, but it’s just really following them through sometimes that she struggles with. Though having him here with the cattle prod and all other manner of coercive tools definitely acts as an encouragement 🙂
As for the future, that’s a destination not yet reached 🙂