30 days of submission : Day 13

Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?

No. This girl keeps a separate bank account and savings to Grimly. There are joint accounts as well, but she still has her own money and bank account into which wages are paid and bills are paid out. This girl does trust him and understands that some submissives may find something liberating about not having to worry about bills and having an allowance to live off instead of  managing money themselves but it is not something this girl and Grimly have ever desired.

This girl particularly is reluctant to give him control of her finances since her ex left her in a financial mess with quite a lot of  joint debt, especially on credit cards and a car loan for which he is now still probably driving the car after not paying a penny for it. Grrrr.  This girl hadn’t agreed to financial slavery with her ex but it ended up being sort of what happened. Her ex decided he didn’t like his job and quit it without getting another leaving her responsible for paying the bills which she struggled to do, at the same time he pestered her for expensive christmas and birthday presents and well, she didn’t know how to say no to him and the debts spiralled. Anyway, long story short, it left her with a lot of debt and it took many years after the relationship ended for her to clear it, which, with Grimly’s help and support she has.

Given that experience though, this girl is more comfortable with keeping accounts and finances pretty much separate. She knows Grimly would never do what her ex did, but it’s just something she prefers to retain control of – and it is not really something he has ever asked or desired to take control of.

This girl is familiar with consensual financial slavery though.

Whilst she was with her ex he found her a money slave. Apparently this person had the fantasy of furnishing a D/s couple with anything they wanted and to have his money controlled by them as they would be able to live out the fantasies he couldn’t. It sounds to sort of good to be true doesn’t it? It was.  He did send this girl some dvds and a story of o ring and a few other bits and pieces, but he then decided for whatever reason that he didn’t want to proceed any further.

To be honest this girl was relieved with that! Involving someone in her D/s relationship in such a way felt abusive and taking advantage of someone who perhaps needed advice and friendship rather than what this girl’s ex would have liked to gain from him.

This girl isn’t disputing that for some people financial slavery might work, it might be liberating, it might bring stability to someone in financial difficulty – for example if a submissive has  a gambling and shopping addiction. However its just not for her, from either side of the coin for good reasons.

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