Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?
Grimly often jokes that the only rules that really matter are as follows :-
Rule 1 – Master is right
Rule 2 – If Master is wrong – refer to rule 1.
Though joking aside, that does sort of work!
Grimly did write some rules based loosely on other ones available on the net, but in practice this girl and Grimly found that they weren’t really suitable for how the relationship works, since really it’s much more relaxed. For reference though they are included at the end of this post for anyone who is interested 🙂 **
This girl can understand why some couples chose to implement more rules and structure sometimes it helps the flow and gives both people involved a firmer idea of what is expected especially when a relationship is new. This girl can sometimes feel as though the D/s has sort of vanished a little when there are too many other things (such as at the moment renovating the house) going on. It will be interesting to see how things develop when everything is settled. This girl is pretty much happy to go with the flow on that as long as things remain balanced and everything has its place – work, friends, family…and kink. With no one thing overpowering the others. This girl probably needs structure more than she needs rules though – mainly to stop her being such a procrastinator at times!
To be honest there would be something kind of wrong if after seven years she didn’t know what pleased her Dom and what annoyed him, and so from that respect she doesn’t see how rules would help. If he implemented rules again then there would be ones perhaps that she would follow anyway just because it is already habit, and others that would drive her mad and that the actually would get bored of if he tried to implement – such as not sitting on the furniture and things like that. Whilst perhaps high protocol like that sometimes has its place and can make a submissive feel perhaps more controlled, this girl far more prefers the benefits of cuddling up to him on the sofa and is sure he feels the same about that.
For the most part this girl is of the opinion that both she and Grimly know where they stand, there may be a few grey areas and a few blunders but who doesn’t have those in any relationship. This girl feels quite lucky that Grimly is the type of Dom that matches up with her type of sub. Whilst she wants a D/s elements of the relationship to work she wants it to be relaxed and non micromanaged and not well, a chore – and it is not that. Ultimately its about fun, working out how best for a shared fantasy to work and incorporating that into a relationship without losing grip on reality and being a loving couple. Well seven years later it works still, perhaps it won’t’ always work in the same way , but relationships do change and evolve 🙂
As for limits this girl and Grimly have very similar ones. He knows what her body can take, she knows what his mind can dream up and what his hands can build and the two match together very well. So it is not as though there are any limits that he needs to encourage her to overcome. There have been in the past, there have been things this girl has been uncomfortable with until he has gently introduced them – hoods for instance, but that is no longer a problem and has not been for some time 🙂 There may always be new things that he might introduce but this girl knows him well enough to know that there won’t be anything that would seriously freak her out like there was with her ex in the case of watersports and other things that really just ick her out.
** – rules
1. You will serve, obey and please me, trusting my skill, experience and responsibility and my concern for your wellbeing and you will respect and defer to me at all times and trust my judgment and my knowledge. I have our best interests at heart and want to make our lives together fulfilling and meaningful and happy and fun.
2. You will be grateful for all I give and show you and will acknowledge and thank me at all times. If I discipline you, you will thank me for your correction specifying why you needed correction so I can see you understood the reason. You will perform whatever tasks I set you immediately as a token of respect and obedience
3. You will wear my collar and any other temporary or permanent markings with pride and with gratitude.
4. If you need to be punished you will accept that punishment without question. If you argue or try to talk me out of it the punishment will be automatically doubled.
5. I will decide what clothes you are and are not allowed to wear and will give specifications of clothes and how and where I want them worn.
6. Your place is on the floor near my feet unless I indicate otherwise. You may not use furniture without permission.
7. You understand that you may voice opinions and concerns and that I will always take account of your views. However you accept that my decision is always final and once made MUST NOT BE ARGUED WITH. Bratty behaviour will no longer be tolerated.
8. You will be open and honest and express your emotions and concerns to me so that I may know there are no misunderstandings or hidden problems and can address any such as required
9. You will be open and honest about your behaviour so that you may be corrected if needed
10. You will listen with your full attention to my words and comment as required. I like conversation and good communication and I have not put any general restrictions on when you may speak however I expect you to learn when it is a good time to take care over what you say.
11. You will willingly expand your limits to give pleasure to us both and will strive to overcome your fears and limitations.
12. You must trust that I will never do anything to you that I do not know how to do, and that the care and preparation I take is a mark of respect for you and your safety
13. I will decide when you are allowed to orgasm. Orgasm is a privilege not a right and you will get out of the habit of asking for or hinting to get one.
14. You will gladly wear a chastity belt, plug or other toy whenever I specify as a sign of your submission without question or complaint
15. When you move up you will accept responsibility for the smooth running of the home, keeping it clean tidy and a comfortable place for us both to live. Until then you will do such chores as asked without complaint.
16. You will learn to accept that things you have regarded as your right are now privileges which can be revoked. (privileges must earned) The better you behave and carry out your duties the easier things will be.
17. Your body is my property and you will understand that you have a duty to take care of it with the same care that you would look after any of item of my property. You have a duty to look after your health, fitness, diet, weight and to take any medication promptly and as prescribed. You must visit the Doctor at the first sign of any medical problem. You must exercise regularly to keep fit so you are able to perform any task given.