How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive? How do you feel when you express your submission?
For this girl knowing she is submissive is the same really as knowing she is bi-sexual, or for others the same as knowing they’re straight, or gay, or transsexual. Once it’s been tried a few times, you just *know* and even before then it’s enough of a turn on to think about it to be relatively sure as well. That’s not to say there aren’t moments of self doubt, there are sometimes plenty.
When this girl first found out about D/s she was convinced she was submissive. Mainly because she wanted to be bound and tormented and everything she read suggested the two things of being submissive and being on the receiving end of things went hand in hand. Since then (which is now quite a long time!) this girl learnt they don’t always necessarily go together, that it’s possible to be one without the other, but that’s what she thought in the very beginning. So, she put that sort of label on herself and went out to find a dom, because that was what a submissive should do right?
It’s a longer story but this girl worked out over time that to be a good submissive you need a good dominant, and really vice versa to be a good dominant you need a good submissive, or at least for both of you to have a little bit of potential and then also a lot of desire to explore it together. Anyway, to cut a long story short for the moment it took her a while to find the right dominant. To find Grimly, to find someone who she really wanted to submit to. Not just because she wanted the pain and the bondage, but because she wanted someone who could make her feel the way he does cerebrally as well.
So how does she know she is submissive to him? It’s simple really, it makes her feel happy and aroused to be so. It feels good. Does there need to be a more complex answer than because it’s fun and erotic, and well, bliss. Ultimately it can feel quite mellow, stress free, relaxed and calm. Well that is this girl’s answer when she is thinking rationally, of course there are times when she rebels against it, when the feminist and head strong bitch in her comes out and feels the need to be reminded and conquered again. Sometimes big reminders that come in the big flashing lights of pain and bondage are good to have, but sometimes it is actually much more subtle. His voice, his look, and loads of other gestures that might pretty much go un-noticed to anyone else. Apart from the odd bouts of self-doubt this girl feels good when she wears his collar, when she kneels beside him or when she begs him for an orgasm. How she feels during those times and others, and when she is around him, that is how she knows she is submissive.
Essentially with the right person it feels good, it feels right, and really that is all that matters. Submission is not for everyone of course, since there needs to be people on the flip side as well, and more people again who like neither. Really what this girl is trying to say is if you find it interesting to think about , then try it, see if it works, learn and explore.