Well, given this girl is going to be quite busy this month with Grimly moving in so she thought she’d try to have a go at one of these 30 day meme things to keep stuff appearing here for you 🙂 Though there will be other things slotted in too 🙂
Grimly is probably sat reading this thinking – can she be submissive for 30 days in a row and falling off his chair whilst looking at the date. Hmm.. 😉
Anyway, the first question :-
Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your submission as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?
Labels don’t always work so well really, because everyone’s interpretation of what that label should be defined as varies.
However, this girl would like to think what she has with Grimly has elements of a Master/slave relationship but also taken in hand and a sort of old-fashioned style marriage but all of that wrapped up and mixed in with a good amount of humour.
This girl wanted to be a slave for a very long time. It is really quite hard to explain why. It was really the concept of being owned and belonging to someone who she could explore her fantasies with that appealed to her perhaps more than the idea that slaves should be obedient! Whilst this girl is very much at the sadomascohist part of the spectrum as in a mix of sadist and masochist (mostly mascohist) it sometimes has been hard for her to accept and to say out loud that being hurt is what she wanted more than anything else at all. Maybe not everyone is the same but for this girl it took a long time to say ‘i like pain’ and to admit that she needed someone who could enjoy hurting her.
She’s also found it hard to admit to being turned on by being submissive. Being brought up to be strong-willed and independent it’s sometimes difficult for her to recognise submission for the strength it is rather than a weakness. Therefore, for this girl the idea of being owned seemed to sort of tie everything together – it makes her twisted desires his responsibility lol.
It is of course more complex than that, but perhaps thats why her head came up with the fantasy it makes it someone else’s fault. But of course, it’s not. It’s all hers. lol
It feels good though to be owned, to wear a collar, to be marked. To belong to someone else. Especially when that someone else is loving and fun, not to mention evil and sadistic and of course imaginative. The thing is, this girl feels very much *his* and has from very close to first meeting Grimly.
She’s mentioned before a while back that she sold herself to him, for a very notional amount to sort of ‘seal the deal’ and whilst slavery is not legal, she feels as though she belongs to her husband and that is all that matters. Although she would belong to him anyway, being sold to him, wearing his collar, his mark, or not.
Perhaps some M/s aspects of life will be more pronounced as Grimly gets settled living here, but this girl never wants to go to the micromanagement that some people who define themselves as slaves have. For her it needs to be balanced with family, career, friends, a normal life. Does that make her less of a ‘slave’ compared to someone else?
This girl is hoping that things will find their natural level, that perhaps what will happen is something along the lines of a 50s style marriage, with some control, some domestic discipline and a normal(ish) marriage combined with the type of bdsm business that has happened so far to date. How else can being married a dominant sadist work?
So, in answer to the question what this girl has with Grimly is a combination of different types of relationship that really lead to something that is individual but works and continues to evolve as circumstances change, but at least it’s now possible to change and adapt together 🙂