Daniela asked :-

Even if I am late: congratulations with your marriage and thanks for all your wonderful postings.

Thanks Daniela 🙂

Do you do any self bondage? Something like subby waiting for hubby to come home, all bound and gagged by herself? And, if you do, what ‘equipment’ do you use? Gags, corsets, chastity belt? And for how long??

Very little really. This girl used to, long before she met Grimly she used to tie herself up and stuff like that and also later on webcam and stuff following instruction from others, to be honest that all feels sort of embarrassing to write about now. The thing is , the reason she did those things back then was to meet a craving for sensation and pain. That kind of things works to an extent, but it’s not really as satisfying as someone else doing it to you. It’s like, er, cooking a ready meal compared to going to a really good restaurant. It fills a gap, but it’s not really as special. Besides some things aren’t really possible without someone else to push the buttons 🙂

There have been times when this girl has got dressed up for him in something out of the fetish wardrobe, such as a harness, or latex, or well, anything, to sort of tease him a little but generally the actual bondage is left to him.

When it comes to the actual bdsm part of the relationship this girl is much more into the S&M than the B&D, well she’s into it all, but the physical sensations are generally what drive her desires the most. Whilst she loves bondage too for its own sake, she enjoys it most when other stuff is happening at someone else’s hands – whether it be pain, humiliation, or just being left to endure the bondage say for instance if it is some sort of predicament scenario such as the scavengers daughter – which gets gradually more uncomfortable the longer you are left in it. Bondage is generally more fun and more erotic if someone else is controlling what it is, for how long, and whether anything else is happening. Well that is this girl’s opinion, obviously those that have different reasons for enjoying bondage may feel differently.

Grimly seems to enjoy putting her in bondage as much as he does doing stuff to her once her movements are restricted. He enjoys the whole process, so why take that away. Why should she have a dog and bark yourself? Ok…bad metaphor probably but its something he does, she enjoys him doing it, so why do it herself? It doesn’t make sense.

It’s not that this girl doesn’t understand the attractions of self bondage – she does. If there is no one else to play with then like any other kind of solo thing it’s a means to an end – but it’s just so much better interacting with someone else and sharing the experience. Why put herself in bondage when she has a very good dominant and rigger of her very own who enjoys meeting that need of hers?

There have been times when she done things on his instruction , like for a while last year or perhaps it was this year before, this girl was having difficulty getting good sleep and also staying up too late so Grimly set a curfew and also got her to wear the chastity belt overnight for him saying that she had to be in bed for a certain time with it locked and she would be allowed to unlock it when she got properly out of bed and not before. *That* worked, and did help cure the sleep problem she had. Well him not being around to do things himself won’t be an issue for much longer since he moves in properly in a fortnight 🙂 Apparently there is someone else who this girl knows who has a similar problem . Hmm.

Anyway, whilst there are a couple of rare exceptions to the rule, this girl generally prefers Grimly to do the bondage. It’s more interesting to not know what’s going to follow, and to be controlled by his desires rather than plan it herself. There are times when she gives him ideas of things from maybe pictures she’s seen or stories she’s read but even then he normally puts his own twist on it which makes life interesting .

DI Why ? 😉

March is question answer month please feel free to ask more questions with a comment or an email 🙂

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