Faith, hope and love

Dave asked : – So you have been collared for 6 years, but just married. So my question is Dave asked : “how is standing up before your family and friends to be married different from being collared?”

The short answer is in the amount of planning and expense!

The collaring this girl and Grimly had was relatively simple. It was planned to an extent in that this girl asked Grimly if he would do it and he said yes. A fetish party was coming up and it was planned to be done at that knowing a good number of fetish minded friends would be there, and the venue was appropriate – a friend’s house in the countryside.

When it was time for it to happen the organiser of the party called everyone together Grimly and this girl exchanged a few words and then he put the collar on her neck and locked it on. It wasn’t very lavish, it was just making a statement in front of like-minded people.

In a way a wedding is similar to that it is about making  a statement, but it is in front of family and also God.  This girl is not deeply religious, but she does have faith and is christian and having a church wedding that all her family and friends could share was important.

The collaring was an important ceremony of commitment and symbolic of the fact this girl and Grimly are in a D/s relationship, but it wasn’t something that could really be shared with family. Kink is not something that this girl discusses with family, they wouldn’t get it, and given her parents are quite Victorian even about talking about sex….well, it’s best to just not go there.

A collaring is not legal either, and whilst it is symbolic of this girl and Grimly’s choices it doesn’t mean anything to anyone outside BDSM and D/s circles.

To be honest this girl is pretty old-fashioned when it comes to relationships, being monogamous (aside from the occasional feminine experience here and there) and wanting to be married and settled. Perhaps that is  something to do with how she was brought up – by a stable loving family.

It’s a little hard to really put into words what being married to Grimly means to this girl but its sort of just a way of saying ‘yes we belong together and we will be no matter what’. This girl and Grimly have certainly been through a lot together from psycho exes and debt, a long distance relationship and many other ups and downs, and survived. He brings out the best in her and  this girl would like to think that she brings out the best in him as well. That is what relationships are about really being there no matter what, supporting each other’s dreams and aspirations and also about having a lot of fun both together and with friends and family and generally about wanting to share things with one another.

The wedding day was very special, it was very traditional in many senses. This girl and Grimly wanted a day they could remember in many years to come and that friends’ and family would as well. It could really not have been more perfect, the church was the one her maternal grandparents married in (neither are alive now) and the vicar was a family member who baptised this girl as well back in 1980.  Because the vicar is a member of the family the service was very personal, very loving and exactly what this girl and Grimly wanted to say to one another and to family. After the service many photos were taken at a venue that holds special significance to this girl’s dad, and then that was followed by a lovely meal with everyone and socializing afterwards. No loud music or flashy lights, just good company and conversation, oh and the speeches….lol. This girl’s mum did most of the work for the decorations for the reception and the cake, and this girl had planned the order of service and invites. Everything had a personal touch, and everyone who came had travelled quite far to make the effort since not really anyone other than this girl’s parents lived locally. The photos were all taken by Captive Kink – though strangely, no straight jackets in sight lol.

It did feel very much as though it was not just a day for this girl and Grimly to say they loved each other but for their friends and family to show that in their own ways too by being there and contributing in their own individual ways. So therefore this girl would have words with anyone who says its a big expense for a little bit of paper.

Whilst the collaring was special, this girl did not feel as special then as she did on her wedding day, but then generally no one can make you feel as special as your family and friends and really it was the most special day of her life, marred only by absence of those loved ones who have passed away, and even then everything possible was done to honour their memory.

It meant something exchanging those words in a place of worship too. Perhaps when the vicar says ‘I can tell everything from the way he looks at you’ then you know you’re doing the right thing.  It meant perhaps just as much renewing the vows a week later with the hand fasting. This girl walked out onto the lawn in her wedding dress with Grimly beside her to be met by friends standing in a circle who she hadn’t seen for two years and that meant so much, as did meeting the fantastic couple who conducted the ceremony 🙂

So, perhaps after all of that what’s left is paper and memories, well the paper is just that, but the memories mean more than anything in the world.

8 thoughts on “Faith, hope and love

  1. Beautifully put into words, thisgirl. The wedding and everything that went with it was a lovely, joyous occasion and everyone who shared it with you and Grimly was privileged to see just how in love you are and how perfectly you two fit together.

  2. What a fantastic and heart felt post. Your Grimly is one very lucky bloke!

  3. I really admire you in saying these things. You are making what many would find quite a claim, but one the two of us are fine with. Love, submission, collaring, these things are not alien to people who are also very spiritual (or moderately spiritual). The liberalism of the 21st century, the one that realises that things like Fem Dom (I know not necessarily for you), BDSM are nothing new but deeply rooted in human life. And that in being deeply rooted in our past and basic psyche they also come at times with a desire to be good, to think there is more to this world than the merely material.

  4. I agree, what a wonderful post. Am I not right in thinking the difference is that a collaring is a one way commitment by a submissive, and not necessarily exclusive for the dominant, but that a marriage is a two way exclusive commitment. I would hope that after a collaring the dominant would feel a duty of care, in much the same way as I have a responsibility for my dog and cat but that would not stop me getting another dog or cat or any other pet, nor would it stop me finding them a new home if I could no longer cope with them. I speak as an old bachelor pushing 60 who lives alone and for the last year has found he likes being maid to a Mistress who I love (but not lust after) but know that she has other male maids and other male clients and who maybe might love her too. You might think I have never experienced real love and I can say I thought it was a myth, especially love at first sight, until it happened to me a few years ago, but it was simply impossible. I know they say love conquers all but there were so many insurmountable problems, and we both realised it. Like a 30+ year age difference, living 8000 miles apart, me hating travel and not having a common language. She didn’t know I like dressing up either but I knew I could have given that up for her. I could hardly walk to the other side of the room after our eyes met. Strange things went on in my head, like I was a computer and someone had re-booted my mind, life-long plans scrapped and new ones formed and what really mattered to me before no longer did, i just wanted to live out my days with her despite the fact I did not know her name or the first thing about her. I know my newer found love for my Mistress is not as strong as that but it is similar and I know it could grow if she would allow it to. She is the only person I have ever told all my secrets to and I’ve never told her a lie either. On my first visit I intended to keep so much back to preserve my anonymity but I just could not.

    Woa, did I get carried away. I didn’t intend to tell you all that but having put it down in writing I might as well share it, its all true to the best of my belief. Not that I am wise. If I was wise I would have formed a fetish for a woman and married her and have been a grandfather by now. My parents were married for nearly 70 years, now thats wisdom, not to mention tolerance. Father used to joke you don’t get that long for murder these days.

    I do so enjoy your blog This Girl, thank you VERY much and thanks Grimley for making her happy and allowing her to share your relationship with us all.

  5. thanks gee two & maxi & Sue , it meant a lot to us you were all there.

    Keith, luck is part of it fate is the other LOL

    Islv, well said 🙂

    Thanks Daedae 🙂 xx

  6. It is so refreshing; it deserves to be applauded; it is not seen that much in today’s society; and it is so wonderful when you do see it……….it is here in the passion of your article and picture. It is true love and you two possess it….BRAVO!

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