Going from strength to strength

This girl read a post on fetlife the other day about whether people could submit to someone weaker than them or dominate someone who was stronger. Well, there is strength of the physical variety and also of course of the mental variety.

Grimly is pretty strong physically. He was in the Army and boxed during his time there and is strong enough that this girl can’t escape him if she tries to even if there are no restraints involved. He is firm but he is fair with it. This girl’s ex partner was physically strong too but he wasn’t very fair with it at all, and had a tendency to use his knowledge of martial arts pressure points to hurt her sometimes just because he could. Which him doing that didn’t make her want to comply it just irritated her and it wasn’t sexy.

It’s a bit of a line to draw perhaps between where a man exerting physical strength over a woman is dominant and erotic and where it is abusive and a bit too far. The thing is though, generally you just know yourself whether you’re happy or whether you’re living in fear of harm. Β This girl has never once been afraid of Grimly or worried that he would push things to far.

So, the grab of a wrist or being pinned down to the bed can be sometimes Β a reminder that he is stronger than her and in control of her body. The thing is though really she doesn’t really require him to be strong against her very often – occasionally as a reminder it is nice but when this girl admits to her old fashioned values it is nicer to know that she has someone that will protect her through anything like he has. Sort of like the knight on the white horse in the armour. Only, perhaps, not erm quite. πŸ˜‰ She couldn’t really imagine Grimly on a horse!

In a dominant though mental strength is perhaps so much more important. This girl and Grimly have been through so much where she has needed him to be the strong one. Probably more than his fair share. Its not to say this girl is weak , just there have been times when she’s needed his support and his shoulder to cry on and there times when she’s had to be strong for him too.

This girl thinks a good dominant will help their submissive’s character develop and grow. Help them become more confident, things like that. Like any relationship both partners should help the other achieve their desires and aspirations and take their turns in being the strong one.

Perhaps what first attracted this girl to Grimly was that he came across as a strong character, assertive, confident, perhaps even a little cocky (who would believe that!) but she fell for him further when she realised she could be there for him when he needed someone to be strong for him.





6 thoughts on “Going from strength to strength

  1. Grimly may be the Shiny Knight, but it seems that you are the one wearing the cod piece!

  2. Thank you for your great post, really πŸ™‚ Here it’s the opposite situation, we dropped D/s now, due to Susie’s problems, a subject that is pretty much well known amongst friends and I won’t go into details here, but even during D/s, I was physically stronger than her, considering I am always trying to stay fit and did martial arts at some points in life, and she didn’t. Still, she could put me under with a gesture. Sometimes I think it’s really how much strength you see. But her needing to be the strong one at all times, did have a price for her emotionally, we’re just having to deal with recently, and also, learn from it. Right now I’d say I don’t know where the balance is anymore.

  3. Tim,don’t think so , no vajazzle here lol

    Jessica, i’m sure things will work out in time πŸ™‚ I think most relationships even D/s need both people to be strong at times sometimes together too ,in fact especially together πŸ™‚

  4. I just stumbled upon your blog and i plan on reading more of it when I don’t have to be at work in an hour. I like what you wrote about strength and the ways in which men use it. I think a good Dominate is someone who doesn’t have to use their strength to accomplish anything, he just gives you a look and you know. Granted, it is nice to feel a Doms strength once in awhile, but that has little to do with it. Emotional health is key in anything and more important than anything else I think in D/s.

  5. One of my kinks is to dress as a maid and be dominated by my Mistress who is about four inches shorter than me and I would guess two thirds or maybe even a half of my weight, but to make up for the physical strength difference I like to be locked in my maids uniform with shoe locks so I can’t take my high heels off, preferably with my ankles linked and my thighs linked so I could not put on a pair of trousers and often with my wrists connected so I could not put on a shirt or jacket. The thigh and ankle connections also mean I cannot walk like a man or bend over like a man, if I have to pick something off from the floor I have to do it the feminine way with my knees together. There is no way I would leave her house dressed like that especially as I have friends in the area. She is in control until she releases me from my feminine attire.

    Maybe she is mentally stronger but I doubt it, I am certainly very clever. I just WANT her to dominate me simple as that. I don’t think it is weakness, its just that I have a level of control of others in my work and its nice sometimes to unwind by letting someone else take control of me.

    I love the latest pictures from your wedding, both as a man to see you like that and as a sissy to think of what it would be like to be dressed and in bondage like that. Not that I could ever hope to look half that good, you are beautiful. Does the chain go to your nose? Do I see a padlock? The level of control that gives is immense, a dog may hold back their owner via the lead but with that I’d be so afraid of having my nose ripped I would keep my eyes constantly on the chain and make sure I kept the chain slack. Didn’t you worry what would happen if Grimley were to trip over or something, especially if he had been drinking at a wedding reception.

    Thanks again for your wonderful blog. Do not worry about the frequency of entries, when you get the urge then post, if you don’t feel like it then don’t. I think the quality would suffer if you forced yourself. Leave that to Grimley πŸ™‚

    I have several sheds by the way, one is 25 feet by 50 feet and another is a Tudor barn. One has a 12 foot square room with no windows and I’m thinking about making a 8 foot by 4 foot cell in there if I can persuade my Mistress to visit my home and lock me in it. The cell will have nine inch brick walls and 3/4 inch steel bars by the way and nobody would hear me if I shouted as long as nobody left the two doors (think of an air lock) open at the same time.

  6. Morrigan, a lot of the time a look works, sometimes there needs to be something else behind it I think, for me anyway πŸ™‚ Oh a good voice does a lot too, I totally fell for his voice before I met him in person. I agree emotional health is very important, i’ve had times when mine has been low and he’s always been there for me πŸ™‚

    Barbie, i’m sure you look lovely in your maids outfit πŸ™‚

    Thanks for your comments on the ‘wedding’ pictures. I don’t think there is any danger of the nose hook doing harm given how it sits against the septum. Yes it hurts a little if its yanked but the idea is to move with the chain to try and avoid that lol. I don’t think there is any danger of him tripping up when i’m in bondage, we don’t mix play with alcohol.

    Oh i think Grimly would have shed envy of you lol

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