The weight of words

Oh probably like any relationship Grimly and this girl have times when they talk dirty to one another. The word ‘dirty’ doesn’t necessarily cover it – but you know, talk of BDSM,sex,ownership,bondage, ALL that stuff. It would be weird if they did not talk about it!

However, over recent weeks there has perhaps been less talk of it than what is normal. Things have been a little strange since the wedding, being over the high and now at a sort of low just sort of waiting for the impending move and the plans and the chaos all that will cause. Sometimes there are just other things to talk about. Work, family, furniture oh yes and bloody IKEA. All these things get in the way of BDSM when you are still ultimately a normal married couple. Well perhaps not normal, but ish. Sorry if this is getting to be a repetitive tale of woe!

This girl could talk to Grimly about anything though having been at times literally hypnotized by his voice. Thats not to say she’s hypnotized day-to-day like in ASDA or anything, far from it, but that she is always happy to listen to him and talk to him. Six or so phone calls a day is average here and always has been and it’s unusual for this girl and Grimly to sit in silence in each other’s company unless it’s when sat watching the TV and falling asleep in front of it as people do when they are comfortable with each other.

But, this girl is not always comfortable with him. Sometimes she is very uncomfortable with him because he has so designed that due to the restriction of bondage or the infliction of pain! Whilst recently not many words had been spoken of bdsm or slavery or any other topic such as that. So just when this girl was beginning to wonder if she had lost the head space of it a little he dragged her mind back to it reminding her that he was her Master before her husband, and this girl is ashamed to say that reminder was needed and equally ashamed to say it was rather erotically welcomed.

So sometimes Β having a conversation with harsh punctuation helps. Certainly being bound and gagged whilst weights are dangled of various sensitive areas makes this girl listen to everything Grimly has to say, especially as she lingers waiting for him to say the word that turns the pain temporarily into pleasure and orgasm. What he did to her at the weekend was not technical or electronic or hi-tec just simple, neat pain, enough to ensure she would listen and take notice, and well, she did. Whilst he tortured her he said both things that made her feel bad and guilty and ashamed and that also made her feel good and invigorated.

In part it makes this girl feel slightly shameful that sometimes she needs harsh words and simple pain to realign things to how they should be, but that well is a part of who she is. Sometimes she still wishes to rebel against many of the concepts that are core to her kink/fetish – the ideas of consensual slavery,ownership,masochism,submission and most of all obedience. She wants to protest and fight back and say to him sometimes that it isn’t her that its a mistake that she is strong willed and independant and not desiring any of these things. But that is far from true and her body would betray words to that effect. Being owned, being controlled and yes even being obedient makes her feel aroused and excited, and ultimately quite content and happy primarily because all of those things are at his hands. This girl can never lie to him since whilst she might be able to speak the words her body language would catch her out every time.

This girl cannot say why that despite having perhaps one of the most talented, cunning and enterprising doms she needs to challenge him and bait him into wanting to reconquer her.

Oh well perhaps that’s why πŸ˜‰

Perhaps it is an unusual game to play and one that will change and develop over time, well it shall be fun to see how it all plays out.

8 thoughts on “The weight of words

  1. I hope that Grimly is planning some thing, you mention he is quiet some times my partner knows when I have a problem because I go very thoughtfull and then I solve the problem and then all is well.
    Let us hope that he does not have to many problems, Happy Christmas to you both

  2. I’m sure Grimly is planning something, that is for certain. Got to say it, the thought of you two as a normal married couple just doesnt register with me lol, you two are far more than that.

    Best wishes from me to both of you too.

  3. Lol the only problem he has is me and the only time he will stop plotting and thinking of weird and wonderful things will be when he drops dead! πŸ™‚

  4. While you have been learning how to bump and grind in your strip classes, you have been involved more in an ongoing tango with moments of apache. If you remember the tango in Moulin Rouge ( if not here is a link to it on Youtube)

    Stylistic, ritualistic, intense, and violent, are all ways to describe the almagnam of what is special about you both. It also is the kind of writing from your heart that makes this blog a must read for me and many others. You approach metaphysical thoughts and emotions, and have found an outlet to convey them to yourself and to others through this blog. The pictures and insight into the world that many of us long for but will never experience at your level are great, but you have found ways to break though to a different dimension and show us your “Grimly reality”

    Whoa, I am using way to many big words for 5 in the morning. Please just keep doing what you are doing, and the time for your second honeymoon is quickly approaching. Keep posting and proselytizing, about all that is you


  5. As you yourself say, the point to focus on is that “he was her Master before her husband”. True in time as well as in meaning. My Mistress certainly had me collared and enslave before we married. That is physically collared in order to then mentally collar me. That was years ago.

  6. Tim, thanks for your comment, unsure what else I can add however gotta say my favourite movie tango is of course the very soppy but moving Scent of a Woman πŸ™‚

    Thanks Islv, i am sure then Grimly and I are not alone in thinking of the collar as pretty much a precursor to the engagement ring πŸ™‚ To be honest I am sure to Grimly the collar means more – to me , I don’t know….i’m female. What can I say, i wanted both lol x

  7. Thisgirl wrote “Grimly and I are not alone in thinking of the collar as pretty much a precursor to the engagement ring”. That was absolutely and exactly the case with us. We found ourselves years ago just as b/f g/f in a shop, called Scene One, I think in Manningham Road Bradford. This sturdy black and red leather collar with about a foot of chain leash was hanging there. She reckons (and She is right) that I quaked at the sight of it with eyes which said both No and Yes at the same time (you all know the sort), It was bought and it was used. Engagement ring and marriage all came later. The collar is still with us. It is now very worn and that sight alone is testimony to what has happened in our relationship.

    Yet as the years passed and as our knowledge of BDSM etc has grown and has also interacted with our take on the outside world, a message comes from that collar. “You may be wild but you should not be evil”. Will that be a contentious statement? I hope not. The world is full of real suffering and horror. In our lives and as we see it, in your writing, BDSM is a bizarrely transformational experience which helps us to accept the wild world we are in but that does not mean we should add to the misery. Rather our BDSM brings to those who practice it in love an acceptance and peace. One that makes you want to marry another and spend your whole life with them. I should write some more about this phrase “You may be wild but you should not be evil”. I want to do it very much in the context of the 21st century when Science has taught us much and many historic institutions like churches are discredited yet all the age old dilemmas remain. But that is for somewhere else………..

    BTW you have put moving snowflakes on your blog? Amazing.

  8. Moving on as a couple in your marriage, at some point the dreaded K word (as in kids) will pop along. For some reason people think this is the end to everything, no more fun, no more high jinks, no more enjoying the things that brought you together as a couple.

    The fun is only just starting……

    The key is scheduling, the kids have their playtime and after they are dispatched to bed we have ours. There is still a place for the master / slave relationship, the best part is is the build up of tension as you rapidly approach the witching hour, sure in the knowledge that your session is going to be a belter. Gasmasks are great, they keep the noise down (don’t wake the kids) and as for the aforementioned collar, what a great device to keep the kids in their place!

    Bottom line, you can still have your cake and eat it. How you juggle the cake is another matter.

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