Don’t make a scene!

This girl is not what she would call that ‘active’ on the local scene. There are reasons for that.

It’s limited, at least here in the UK. Most clubs this girl has been to are generally the same – the same type of people, the same type of kit and the same type of play. Sometimes clubs are worth attending for social reasons to perhaps meet up with someone who might be also going but for play they don’t offer the same opportunities as play at home.

There was a time when this girl could see the attractions of being tied up in public and caned or things like that.  There was a certain exhibitionistic rush from it, from taking everything that was dished out feeling as though it would be a sort of personal shame not to. But sometimes it got to being that having an audience was a turn off. It’s all very well showing off to some people, but definitely not to men with their hands in their pockets. This girl has probably mentioned before but she’s been thanked in the past at clubs for putting on a ‘good show’. It’s not a show. It’s real. This is what she does, because she enjoys it, not to necessarily look good to other people. Sometimes that’s a welcomed side effect, other times it isn’t.  At least when she shows off stuff on the internet then she’s choosing what is shown and sharing just what she wants. She remembers once coming off a piece of equipment and realizing someone she didn’t like had a view right up her ****. Not ideal!

Since this girl met Grimly the play she likes is generally too intimate for a club as well in either act or feeling.

Probably the main thing that puts this girl and Grimly going to that many events is the amount of people who try to act as though they’re all it. Doms who treat women like crap just because they’re women, and generally behaviour that wouldn’t be out-of-place in the playground at a school. It seems to be that give adults a kink and put them in a room together and they’ll behave one of two ways – like adults and have fun, or like children and get drunk and be idiots. A lot of clubs locally have sometimes been the latter. There’s a lot of my ego is bigger than your ego. This girl can’t be bothered with that, she’d rather her actions and her writing express her personality than a load of pissing into the wind.

Probably because this girl and Grimly avoid these things kinky people within 50 miles probably have no idea who they are. There are times when that’s a good thing being under the radar, but then there are other times when Grimly and this girl  raise their heads and  get a ‘who the fuck are you’ just because they don’t go to every event there is. Its hard sort of wanting fame and admiration to a point and yet also wanting anonymity and to be left to get on with it! 😉

This girl and Grimly have found events they enjoy though. Generally events that are planned on a smaller more sociable scale are more entertaining than those that are based on ‘if you have the money you get in’. This girl definitely misses the old club Nemesis and also the barn parties, however the host of those has a new venue now running it’s just not been possible to get to it yet due to everything else going on with the wedding , but hopefully soon or after the wedding if not.

The scene often seems to be very cliquey in general though, and sort of inaccessible and cold to new people unless they’re  young, hot and available. It makes it feel a bit like a meat market. Oh perhaps this girl is turning into an old married woman but she’s rather past all that sort of thing. She’d much rather just meet up with a couple of like-minded friends for coffee or dinner than go to the bother  of getting all dolled up to sit in a pub whilst people get spanked in the background.

There are times when she’s curious about it though, you know, to see if it’s changed, to see if her opinion is perhaps too negative, a bit too harsh, and whether there is anyone new on the scene that she might meet and be a great friend, so for that reason she’s always willing to give it another chance. Yet, those reservations are kind of still there.

5 thoughts on “Don’t make a scene!

  1. I absolutely agree. Apart from the fact i am a Dom there is so much in common. Even the marriage plans (in our case on june 1 so we ‘win’ there)
    1: I dont Need during a ‘play’ people telling mee what to do and how. I learned how my “wolfie” is reacting on how i do things. Others dont have to correct me
    2: Most gatherings are (logical) in enclosed spaces. With 80% smoking (even me) you have to go on a hunt for a breath of air.
    3: I dont like to see somebody’s ‘actions’ after drinking (too much) alcohol. Yes i like a beer also but a master almost falling from liquor, while hitting his slave with a bullwhip is not my idea of safe
    4: 75% of the playrooms are not real safe. A andreacross i can pull from the wall doenst boost my confidence

    But mostly. What we really do is a matter of pure love, not a game. And love is a private thing
    So yes, we like to ‘work’ in our own playroom

    Falcon

  2. Top blog Mrs 🙂
    My good Lady and I gave up the ‘scene’ quite a while ago…..usually filled with heavy TV’s wearing sunglasses ( i.e. I can oggle you but you can’t see who I am ? ) elderly men behaving like they have a right to brush up against young fit women etc etc.
    As you know, we play always at home these days ( because it IS our foreplay ) and as Falcon states above, it is for love and not the amusement of total strangers offering their unwanted input ! Like you we can post our pics ( http://fetlife.com/users/501805 ) and from whatever angle we want !!!
    Keep up the good work Grimly … the world needs this woman !!! LOL

  3. I’m sorry to hear it’s pretty much the same anywhere. I like attending events for friends. People to sit down, and drink and have fun, tell jokes and laugh, but without having to pretend I’m vanilla, or my relationship is vanilla. I don’t like playing in clubs, or in public as a role. Yes, there’s the exhibitionist rush, but also there are some people who are out of line, and in the end, I think the scene is about freedom and people we enjoy, mutual support and good times. And that’s exactly what I did not find in the local scene.

    But I still have hope that someday, somewhere, there will be that special place where people mingle and have fun. And be friends in and out of that club. Because, I want lifestyle friends, not people who pretend they don’t know me if we happen to see each other across the street 😛

  4. I find the other off-putting thing about most clubs in this country is that there is very little provision for those who want the space and quiet for bondage play. The whole scene is geared up for those into the inpact play and anything bondage related is stuck in as an afterthought or in an inappropriate place.

    A club I recently went to had one dungeon area, for everyone. The girl I was with was quite happy in a sleepsack, but couldn’t get into any sort of headspace because of all the cries and slapping going on around her. They had a bondage frame in the middle of the room, which we tried to use as well, but that was less than four foot from a whipping bench. Every time I walked around the girl, I was in danger of getting hit.

    I long for the day when I can go to a local club with two dungeon areas (very much like the barn), where the happy slappers had their area where they could scream as much as they wanted, and the bondage folk had a nice quite space all to themselves.

  5. Falcon, thanks for your comment i’m so happy for you and wolfie! ‘Beating’ to us to it though i’m not sure thats allowed 😉 lol. Hope you both have an absolutely amazing day i shall be thinking of you both. We are still about 4 months away.

    KC, what you do is great. Though you know you really need to get out of the house more as i would love to meet you! Rich is bringing me back up to Scotland after i tie up trinity pup so might work to catch you on our way if you’re about. You know, that is if you’d like to meet the sexy half of our relationship more than the sadistic demented half lol. Though Grimly does want to meet you too!

    Jessica, you’re another lady i’d love to meet too, i agree its the same everywhere but i have managed to make some good contacts by going to events but the best events i have been to have been arranged in a very ‘old school way’ by invite and privately rather than organised fetish clubs.

    Richy, i agree play at clubs ends up being the impact variety and not much bondage, a dedicated bondage club would be cool I think , perhaps if i ever win the lottery i shall set it up! Lady P’s new venue has a lot of potential, Grimly and I dropped by it on our way to birmingham the last time but not yet been to a play night there, i’m unsure if we’ll manage that before the wedding but she has kind of planned everything to ensure all her friends have something to enjoy so it should be good I think perhaps we can pass by there too i can ask her. Dropping you a pm shortly ! x

    Thanks for all the comments everyone xx

Leave me a comment . . .

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s