This girl read a thread on fetlife this week about the use of the word “play”. Here.
The op said : – “Play” in the fet context implies (for me) something that is casual, lighthearted, not serious, flippant, a game, a piece of entertainment, and so on. The more I think about who I’d want to “play” with and how we’d do it, the more I realize it would definitely NOT be play. It would need to be serious, trusting, negotiated, and… lots of other heavy, non-fun stuff (while still actually being fun, because if I didn’t think I’d enjoy it, then I wouldn’t even be here).
This girl doesn’t have an issue with calling what she does with grimly (or with anyone else for that matter) – play. Ultimately it implies that it is fun and a game – the game being to do with how effectively her fantasies can come to life. In some respects perhaps not so much dissimilar to make-believe in the playground but much more adult and with much more emotional and psychological consequences.
This girl does not mind being grimly’s plaything like a sort of puppet or doll contorted into whatever position or predicament he wants. In fact that is all part of the fantasy of having him control her body and more so her mind. Not to mention the presence of dress ups and toys 😉
This girl does not think calling it play anyway trivializes it or makes it less serious. Every care is taken, and everything done safely whilst being just almost on the edge of sanity.
Play can be serious. Golfers and footballers play and earn millions at their game as do all manner of other sportsman investing time and money into the equipment used and undergoing rigorous training to be the very best. As do actors playing a part. A glance at pictures of the playroom will show how much time and effort Grimly has put into providing every toy and accessory that may be required to entertain his plaything and he is very much running out of space! However many of them are toys that he wont’ tire of or get bored with in favour of the latest, it’s all very much the playroom of a collector .
Oh in some ways perhaps calling it play makes something quite dark and sexual sound innocent when it’s not but the word seems to fit and it is about fun and fantasy after all!
The word torture sometimes suits Grimly and this girl better. Implying something darker and more depraved and edgier and perhaps the word that sums up the beginning and thoughts behind one of this girls biggest fantasies. The science of how much the human body can take before the mind becomes susceptible and flexible to the will of the torturer. The study of pain and sensation. It sort of describes that sort of overload of sensations that this girl craves so much and yet it doesn’t because ultimately no harm is done other than to deepen the addiction and the need for more the next time around. Although perhaps with Grimly the torture is slightly slow burn with some sort of despicable programme of brainwashing and behavior modification being spread out over the months and indeed years. The thought of that makes the roots of the fantasy seem to be much deeper down and much more pathological and probably they are.
What actually happens is somewhere between the definitions of play and torture. Its fun but its dark. Its safe but its edgy. It’s a game but its serious. Like a game of chess it has two sides, its skillful and its tactical and there are a million and one ways to lead to the same inevitable outcome.
Whatever label you put on it whatever words you use it boils down to the same thing and its fun! But, why use one word when a couple of thousand will do 😉 You might guess this girl likes words and their use, sometimes it’s a shame so many things in bdsm have labels that fit a bit ambiguously.