This girl has been in relationships where she’s felt that she hasn’t been ultimately what the guy in question really wanted. A lot of men (and ok yeah women too) have an ideal in their head of how they want a partner to look and how they want them to act as well.
That can be acceptable if it generally means they just want the best in you, but when it feels not that way and rather that they’d just rather you were someone else that you could not actually physically ever be it’s very damaging to the self-confidence. There needs to be a bit of a balance between accepting them for what they are and giving them encouragement into making them be their best rather than berating them for not being the girl with the cute bum, long blonde hair and massive tits. This girl has had partners who have given her lots of advice on this and pointed out hundreds of girls they’d like her to look like. This girl has never wanted to really look like anyone other than herself. She isn’t comfortable necessarily with how she looks , she doesn’t like her legs or her bum and certainly not her hips (which for some reason Grimly loves) but she wouldn’t change that to be someone different. She wouldn’t choose plastic surgery or anything else drastic like that, though because Grimly makes her feel loved and more confident in being her best she is trying to make tiny improvements that her within her ability and yeah she wants to look hot on the wedding day lol.
There have been times this girl has felt as though she could be anyone and it wouldn’t matter. With previous partners, and also when she did pro sub and pro spanking work as well, but when a guy is paying for it they’re perhaps more than entitled to want their fantasy to be as close as possible. Perhaps that’s why ultimately this girl went off it, but perhaps more so because those guys weren’t hers, they weren’t Grimly. Luckily for the world at large nobody else is. But for those guys she was just a bottom, or a scream, or a whimper, not a person, her feelings weren’t really taken into account.
In addition to that her ex used to like watching porn whilst she was sucking his cock. Perhaps a lot of guys like to do that sometimes for extra arousal or whatever, but he got to wanting that every time and towards the end of the relationship she just wanted to wash her mouth out with soap and then break down and cry it felt so unloving and certainly not dominant just dirty. She could have been anyone, she could have been a rubber sex toy and it wouldn’t have mattered. For a lot of submissives giving their dom a blow job is very erotic, for this girl it became a chore and awful. For that reason Grimly doesn’t encourage her doing those with him, and has never done it to completion she wants him to partly so that she can get over that memory, but because she wants to as well. Perhaps not often but just once to see what it’s like to do that act with someone who isn’t using her *only* for their own pleasure. Anyway, sometimes in her previous relationship it felt three holes is all she was.
In a way it’s a bit of a conflict because there are times when this girl wants to feel objectified, depersonified and the fantasy in whatever form it takes that day but not all the time. Grimly gets the balance of that right and that is probably why it works so well. He doesn’t make her feel as though she could be anyone and that it would be the same for him, he’s always made it clear that she’s his fantasy not some faceless perfect looking perfect behaving slave girl.
The other day Grimly wanted to dress her up as his doll. Given it was a hot day and she had zentai on, stockings, underwear, gloves, a dress and apron, mask and also a wig she was melting but because of that she also got quite floaty within there quite quickly. This girl doesn’t like this particular mask or the wig for that matter as it makes her feel as though she is something out of Dr Who! Hopefully soon if the wedding budget allows she’ll get a better one (or several), but there are so many things on the wish list it might not be the next thing.
Although her outward appearance was quite different to what she looks like normally it was erotic because she looked outwardly exactly as he wanted to at that moment but inside just the same yet slightly light-headed, slightly trippy and very controlled. Most masks and hoods will do that to her giving the benefits of depersonalisation and yet leaving Grimly to still know exactly how to get into her head.
When she comes out of that sort of place she knows he still wants what’s left, no matter what sort of half spaced mess she’s in.
So at least one boy who knows how to play with his dolls nicely 😉 Or at least if he breaks them he knows how to pick them up and put them together again.