Most people (apart from maybe Grimly) will have heard of Rihanna and one of her singles from this year – S&M.
This girl was reading an article about Rihanna a few days ago where she was quoted as saying :-
““I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned — you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs”
This girl very much doubts that Rihanna is into any sort of BDSM, and is much more likely to be using the idea as a marketing exercise. However, she has a point – sometimes BDSM has to be planned to a certain extent.
This girl personally doesn’t see what’s wrong with that. A spontaneous fumble in bed with the lights off and the missionary position is fun sometimes but planning a session to excess and adding all the bells and whistles is much more fun and exciting.
Some of what this girl and Grimly do is planned. Some of it’s not. Though when it’s not most of the things that Grimly chooses to incorporate are readily on hand.
Sometimes the sessions are half planned, like when this girl bought the puppy gear she had the mask and the tail and the zentai ready but wasn’t really sure what he would add next or how it would involve bondage. Grimly is very good at just going with the flow and is pretty laid back, this girl however likes to have an inkling of what might be coming and is much more of a planner and a control freak (yep a Monica) and so hates it when he tells her that he has plans but refuses to tell her what they are , or when he stops her from being able to see what is going to happen. It is very frustrating!
This girl wants to be controlled by him but sometimes she wants to know how that control is going to happen and what is coming. Perhaps that’s not very submissive, but more so the thoughts of an eager and obsessed masochist. Which she is.
This girl wouldn’t say she’s ever had a session that’s been “overly planned’ sometimes complex ones need to be and it is worth it.For this girl the best type of bdsm is when the ambience is right, the outfit (or lack of one) is right and there is the right mix of pleasure and pain and ideally where any pictures taken make her look thinner. lol.
There is possibly also an element of satisfaction that comes when something that has been planned (in some cases for a long time) works and especially when it works well. This girl is a strong believer in the idea that what you put in is really what you get out of something. The more detail and thought you put into working out your fantasies then quite often the more enjoyable they are when they are played out.
Of course sometimes it only needs one person to plan it in their head allowing the other being left to wonder what’s going on from all the noise those turning cogs are making 😉