This girl commented on a thread on fetlife to do with someone who’s dom wanted to shit on them and the op was wondering if this was normal dom behaviour.
This girl’s comment was this :
“i think for a man to actually consider this is disrespectful to the sub and totally gross and certainly not a sign of a loving relationship.
Each to their own though.”
Some people seemed to not be okay with her making this comment, as though it was against Your Kink is OK or whatever other phrase you want to coin. Sometimes it seems on fetlife that anything other than a middle of the road opinion is wrong. But you know, sometimes there can be a point at the very least subjectively where Your Kink is actually *not* okay. The line has to be drawn somewhere .
Most of the time this girl has no problem with other people’s’ kinks, a lot of them differ very greatly from her own. Things such as needles for instance. This girl can see the attraction but doesn’t wish to pursue it and Grimly doesn’t either. A lot of the time she forgets maybe that she is fortunate to have someone who is so compatible to her fetishes as Grimly is and he has gradually introduced her to more without her ever feeling as though he was abusing his position of being her Master.
A dom wishing to defecate on someone though in this girl’s head goes against her whole idea of submission. It’s unhygienic and it’s totally gross. This girl doesn’t need to explain why she thinks doing such a thing is disrespectful. Perhaps a dom wishing to indulge in this activity has some sort of self-esteem issue that he needs to do something that his girl wouldn’t normally enjoy ‘because he can’ ‘because she’s property’. Perhaps being against this sort of thing means this girl is not a true slave. However if that is the case then she is quite happy not to be.
This girl cannot honestly say that the kink of doing that to someone is okay in her book – because it isn’t. She wouldn’t wish to stop anyone that chooses to indulge in such an activity but there is something about it that totally contradicts with how submission is – and how relationship are – for her.
This girl can put her hand on her heart and truthfully say that she doesn’t feel anything she does with Grimly is harmful or has in any way messed her up as a person. Perhaps there are people on the outside who would disagree, but heyho.
For this girl submission is about sharing the kinks her dominant has and giving her up most in the pursuit of them to ensure that he is happy at the same time as having an orgasmic and very fulfilled time of it herself. In this relationship both parties go away satisfied and happy.
It seems to be from fetlife that there are D/s relationships where that is not the case, that submissives should put up with (in this girl’s opinion) ill-treatment because they are submissive. This girl finds that hard to differentiate from battered wives really. She has been in a relationship where she was perhaps not physically battered but mentally so and extremely unhappy so perhaps she feels too strongly about how a relationship should really be after seeing both ends of the spectrum.
This girl just struggles to see how a woman could possibly get anything out of being shat on by their dom apart from feeling totally like crap. Feeling disgusting, feeling low, feeling like something someone would scrape off their shoe. It just seems to show a total lack of respect and love. It also suggests to this girl that a dom wanting to do this is insecure in the relationship, in his dominance and a bit of an arsehole.
Though of course….just her opinion.