When the shit hits the fan

This girl commented on a thread on fetlife to do with someone who’s dom wanted to shit on them and the op was wondering if this was normal dom behaviour.

This girl’s comment was this :

“i think for a man to actually consider this is disrespectful to the sub and totally gross and certainly not a sign of a loving relationship.

Each to their own though.”

Some people seemed to not be okay with her making this comment, as though it was against Your Kink is OK or whatever other phrase you want to coin. Sometimes it seems on fetlife that anything other than a middle of the road opinion is wrong. But you know, sometimes there can be a point at the very least subjectively where Your Kink is actually *not* okay. The line has to be drawn somewhere .

Most of the time this girl has no problem with other people’s’ kinks, a lot of them differ very greatly from her own. Things such as needles for instance. This girl can see the attraction but doesn’t wish to pursue it and Grimly doesn’t either. A lot of the time she forgets maybe that she is fortunate to have someone who is so compatible to her fetishes as Grimly is and he has gradually introduced her to more without her ever feeling as though he was abusing his position of being her Master.

A dom wishing to defecate on someone though in this girl’s head goes against her whole idea of submission. It’s unhygienic and it’s totally gross. This girl doesn’t need to explain why she thinks doing such a thing is disrespectful. Perhaps a dom wishing to indulge in this activity has some sort of self-esteem issue that he needs to do something that his girl wouldn’t normally enjoy ‘because he can’ ‘because she’s property’. Perhaps being against this sort of thing means this girl is not a true slave. However if that is the case then she is quite happy not to be.

This girl cannot honestly say that the kink of doing that to someone is okay in her book – because it isn’t. She wouldn’t wish to stop anyone that chooses to indulge in such an activity but there is something about it that totally contradicts with how submission is  – and how relationship are – for her.

This girl can put her hand on her heart and truthfully say that she doesn’t feel anything she does with Grimly is harmful or has in any way messed her up as a person. Perhaps there are people on the outside who would disagree, but heyho.

For this girl submission is about sharing the kinks her dominant has and giving her up most in the pursuit of them to ensure that he is happy at the same time as having an orgasmic and very fulfilled time of it herself. In this relationship both parties go away satisfied and happy.

It seems to be from fetlife that there are D/s relationships where that is not the case, that submissives should put up with (in this girl’s opinion) ill-treatment because they are submissive. This girl finds that hard to differentiate from battered wives really.  She has been in a relationship where she was perhaps not physically battered but mentally so and extremely unhappy so perhaps she feels too strongly about how a relationship should really be after seeing both ends of the spectrum.

This girl just struggles to see how a woman could possibly get anything out of being shat on by their dom apart from feeling totally like crap. Feeling disgusting, feeling low, feeling like something someone would scrape off their shoe. It just seems to show a total lack of respect and love. It also suggests to this girl that a dom wanting to do this is insecure in the relationship, in his dominance and a bit of an arsehole.

Though of course….just her opinion.

13 thoughts on “When the shit hits the fan

  1. Finally someone who agrees with my opinion!!!! THANK YOU!! it is just down right GROSS. I feel disgusted if I step in my own dogs shit with my shoe on let alone letting my master shit on me!!! I’d just feel used… Who could find a liking for being a human toilet and ESPECIALLY having someone take a shit on you.

  2. I, personally, agree one hundred percent. It is not a safe practice. Engaging in dangerous behaviors does show a lack of respect for your partner. I can hear it now, “Breath control is dangerous” or “Electricity is dangerous.” There are countless ways to mitigate the dangers involved in those practices, but you can’t make feces sterile. Maybe we’re hipocrites, but you know what? A basic understanding of biology will tell you shit is, well, shit. There’s news reports weekly in the US about food-borne illnesses resulting from fecal contamination. I’d wager the story’s the same elsewhere in the world.

    I think I’m going to go to Cafe Press and make some “Just say NO to poop!” buttons, now.

  3. I have the same opinion as you. Is it not bad enough just stepping in dog crap.

  4. Another one supporting your stance, scat is just an utterly revolting thing to me.

  5. It’s a difficult one.

    Purely from a safety point of view it’s a bit of a non-starter, but the fetish in and of itself isn’t wrong. I’m not sure a desire *can* be wrong or right – it’s the actions taken as a result of that idea that can be construed as positive or negative (I’m drawing a parallell with the knowledge of atomic reactions here…).

    If you could ensure that the sub would not actually be directly exposed to the stuff (eg. a thick catsuit and an agreement that it dosn’t go above the midsection!), and (more importantly) thate sub is OK with this, each to their own.

    That said, keep that stuff away from me! 🙂

  6. Well my good Lady and I have been together for many a fine year and we practice loving fetish bondage. We have gotten up to allsorts over the years but I can honestly say I have never, EVER, thought of pooing on my loved one !!! It is not only disgusting, but it also reveals zero love and respect to my woman !!

    I think I could accept a golden shower off her though 😉

  7. With you 100%. Watersports, scat and beastiality are all wildly out of bounds in my book.

    The gray area that I think varies amongst couples is the manner and extent to which they incorporate same level of – and I know this sounds like an oxymoron – erotic humiliation or erotic objectification into their play. At the lightest end of the spectrum, this might be a dom(me) leading their sub around a fetish club on a leash. A more extreme example would be having the sub as a bound, gagged ponygirl in a public setting like the Folsom Street Fair, or the quasi-forniphilia play like when Grimly used you as a table for his birthday cake.

    I guess I make the distinction between mutually consentual humiliation/objectification and flat-out degredation and dehumanization. The former can be a lot of fun when all parties are on the same page with what’s OK and what’s not. The latter leaves the realm of erotic role-playing and gets into violence and mysoginy in my opinion.

  8. In your main post you did something rather difficult. You are operating in something of a libertarian field and you have chosen to disagree, to talk about boundaries. I think you did it rather carefully and the feedback shows this. Life is full of irony and one of them is that true freedom is not the freedom to do anything. Freedom is edgy which is why so many powerholders hate it. You only have to look at the world this day to see that. Those who live as sexual liberals do take risks. It is like climbing mountains. I would never rope up on a mountain. I don’t want to be there. I like hill walking though. And I am happy to be totally enclosed in latex and bound into a straightjacket. But there are limits and you have talked sense about them. It is why your blog is so readable. You are an extra-ordinarly sensible person with the emphasis on extra-ordinary.

  9. “This girl cannot honestly say that the kink of doing that to someone is okay in her book – because it isn’t. She wouldn’t wish to stop anyone that chooses to indulge in such an activity but there is something about it that totally contradicts with how submission is – and how relationship are – for her.”

    We agree! And you are right “each to his own”….we always say everyone is different. But that doesn’t mean we have to like what someone else does.

    Just the other day someone messged us :
    “By-the-way, I glanced at your pictures and they (you) give whole NEW meaning to the word – term “fetishist”! LOL”

    I am still wondering what they meant by that!

    Anyway….I am submissive and I NEVER EVER would want to be degraded in this way. No matter what! And I have to totally agree with your post!

    And yes we are all very fortunate that our kinks and fetishes “match” our partner!

    -Wendy…and Jim

  10. Hi. Reader for quite some time and I simply love your blog.

    I do want to respectfully point out the other side of the story… While I agree there are submissive and bottoms out there for whom this is forced upon, this is not always the case. There are those of us, male and female, who are mentally wired in a way that this is an enjoyable experience. I can speak for my partner and myself on both the giving and receiving end. For us there is a powerful connection that happens…

    As for the sanitary factors… There are quite a few things to know, but like anything else it too can be done with minimized risk.

    BTW… The user who fretted about fecal contamination… Sorry to burst your bubble, but it is Everywhere including your toothbursh (unless you never flushed your toilet in the same room). Just an FYI.

  11. thanks switchspace 🙂

    i’m sorry but it is not something i am comfortable with nor will it ever be.

    If you enjoy it and your partner does then that’s great, sure if we were all the same life would be boring.

Leave me a comment . . .

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s