This girl probably writes about keeping the balance between bdsm and a normal life too much, but for possibly good or bad it’s something that she has to jiggle this year even more so than before given the wedding plans, and, maybe its important to show that doing bdsm all the time just isn’t realistic unless you really do not have very many work or family responsibilities.
Despite starting the year with having to work more hours than normal, this girl has been pretty content with how balancing things have worked out so far this year. The bdsm is possibly not going to have as big a role this year as other things, like planning the wedding and spending time with family, but it is still there all the same. Though that will change during the honeymoon 😉 This is just really a warning to say that posting here is going to be a bit random both on frequency and topic.
For this girl like many other people BDSM is not her entire life, it’s just probably the icing on the cake that makes going to work and doing really boring mundane things like housework and shopping worthwhile. She joked with Grimly the other day whether it would be fun to put him in a freezer like in the Christmas episode of Dr. Who and just unfreeze him for play and sex to preserve his erm skills longer, but he didn’t give that idea a very warm reception – can’t think why! Oh perhaps it’s that topping from the bottom thing. He needs to chill out though right ? 😉
However, those times when he does get into his Grimly head make the rest of the time worthwhile, this girl sees bdsm as a way of relaxing, of being herself, and really as a sort of therapy . That’s not to say she’s mad (two straight jackets might say otherwise?) just that doing all this stuff is an outlet for all sorts of things such as frustration and escape from the humdrum, and a chance to explore fantasy and imagination. Perhaps because those times are condensed into odd bursts here and there it gives her the fun of looking forward to them and imagining what might happen instead of it being a chore and something that needs to be constantly maintained.
The submission part of course needs to be constantly maintained, and hopefully that will work better when Grimly moves in. It’s hard long distance, this girl is not going to lie. Whilst she feels controlled and submissive to him to a certain extent when he’s not about, it’s just not the same as him being around in person. It just isn’t. Sometimes she really looks forward to the time when he’ll actually live here and be able to do more to make the control a bit more explicit when he feels it needs to be, but other times she thinks oh fuck no can’t he stay 200 miles away just a bit longer ? 😉
Hopefully when he does live here the balance between bdsm and having to do couply things will work in a similar way to what it does just now.
Balancing things actually during play is important too, balancing feeling ‘relatively safe’ to feeling a bit edgey and afraid and balancing on that fine line of what is fun and what is too insane.
This girl and Grimly did a suspension session at the weekend using the harness he made that is slightly modelled on JG Leathers’ creature. This girl has found that it is the most comfortable way for her to enjoy horizontal suspension since the supports are well spread out and leave him free to do other things – to add more bondage, like in this case, arm gauntlets, and later a hood and nipple clamps without this girl worrying about whether she’ll fall or whether her body is hanging about all over the place un-aesthetically.
Being uncomfortable in suspension can destroy the whole scene, if pain is there that is not intended. However, this girl really was not thinking about that. Being fully covered up and suspended in her own little world ensured she was most definitely floating away somewhere else. The new hood this girl bought is most definitely a success, smelling only leather whilst suspended and tortured above the ground is pretty nice 🙂