Quite a few people ask about how to survive a long distance relationship. To be honest, it is very difficult and very frustrating. But on the other hand, can have its rewards.

Probably it’s easier than it used to be, with there now being so many ways to communicate. 70 years ago there would have only been letters and telegrams and now there is so much more.  Her grandparents had a long distance relationship of sorts in that her grandfather was in the navy and communication was so poor then that a lot of her grandmother’s letters didn’t reach him before he passed away from a severe illness at the other side of the world.  It really makes this girl feel as though when putting that in context that 200  miles is nothing especially with so many ways available to her that she can speak with him and that she could be there in four hours quite easily. Or seven by bloody public transport!  This girl must talk to Grimly six or seven times a day, and probably more than some people might communicate with someone in the same room as them. It’s just how it is, she wants to tell him everything and she gets really frustrated the few times he might be somewhere where he can’t talk.

That is one of the best ways of dealing with distance, being able to talk, or webcam, or email. It’s not the same as being there in person but it is better than nothing.

The BDSM bit is harder though. It’s harder to keep that up over the miles. This girl doesn’t really understand those people who have bdsm relationships that are pretty much exclusively online without any sort of real life contact. For her, it is a very physical part of her relationship and she needs Grimly to do certain things to her for it to work. Like tying her up and leaving her helpless and vulnerable, torturing her body, tormenting her and of course fucking her brains out! But apart from anything else BDSM requires a very personal and intimate dynamic in whatever way that might manifest itself at the time.She could not feel remotely like his property if she were never in his presence.

Quite often after a weekend in his company this girl’s whole body aches. Perhaps it’s from the cruel tortures and being dressed up in restrictive clothing and stretched and tormented and contorted but partly its just from falling asleep on his arm and waking up uncomfortable. lol. That is one of the things she misses the most when not staying at his.

Though generally when she leaves him her body feels out of sync. It goes from feeling amazing and erotic and tingley to a sort of dull after effect like some sort of horrid combination of withdrawal symptoms. Travelling of course exasperates that, being sat behind the wheel of a car (even a nice fast one!) or sat on a train with a book makes her body feel sort of achy and wanting more stimuli . The way it goes from overload to nothing is a bit abrupt but cannot be helped. It also aches because so much bdsm is crammed in to so little time. This girl and Grimly do most definitely make the most of their time together but sometimes it makes it feel a bit fraught and jam-packed, whereas if he was here it would be more spread out and spontaneous.

This girl doesn’t want to complain about what she has. She would rather have this a few times a month than really poor play and a poor relationship all the time! Distance does make the heart grow fonder but it’s just this living a half-life in between time that seriously sucks. This girl’s advice for someone in a long distance relationship is to make the most of what time you have without kind of over doing it and burning things out or making it feel as though you are doing it for the sake of it. Keep it special.

This girl found this Shakespearian sonnet this week and it sort of sums up some feelings on this subject :-

Being your slave what should I do but tend
Upon the hours, and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend;
Nor services to do, till you require.
Nor dare I chide the world without end hour,
Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you,
Nor think the bitterness of absence sour,
When you have bid your servant once adieu;
Nor dare I question with my jealous thought
Where you may be, or your affairs suppose,
But, like a sad slave, stay and think of nought
Save, where you are, how happy you make those.
So true a fool is love, that in your will,
Though you do anything, he thinks no ill.

2 thoughts on “Ache

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