Amnesia

Grimly posted this picture on flickr and his fetlife and this girl had difficulty remembering the session. Which is odd because it turns out it was only about 2 months or so ago!

Quite often people ask what is the best session or the most intense. As people generally do, they always seem to want to know what’s best, or what is most extreme or what she was able to endure the longest. Perhaps it’s those that are so intense they fry the brain a bit!

After this girl thought about it she could remember some of it.

She could remember the absolutely amazing sex she had with Grimly after he took her out of the chair. Which was right up there in the top five times ever. But then, you would expect wearing ballet boots and rubber to bed to have some effect! This girl can remember having commented to him that after a chair session a lot of things can be an anti-climax, because by that point, she’s already had several intense orgasms from the overloaded combination of bondage, breath play, electrics and clitoral stimulation. She had suggested to him that what he should do instead of letting her recover from that by chilling out downstairs, he should take her to bed straight away and continue being an evil bastard. So, that session was the time he did that.

This girl likes the fact she can’t remember much about what was before he took her to bed. The fact that he probably did something else to her head whilst she didn’t know about it sort of fits her brainwashing fantasy rather a lot.

This girl has always had this brainwashing fantasy thing. Of being corrupted and modified by an evil doctor or scientist. Of it being like a dream, or sort of the feeling of ‘did that really happen to me’.

This girl’s first memory that she can connect to the early rumblings of her BDSM was the dreams she had. Of being kidnapped or held prisoner. She would ‘wake up’ in the dream, in either maybe a cell waiting for someone to come, or actually mid torture. A man or men would take her to a torture chamber or a clinic and then often stretch her body out like on a rack or examining table to experiment on her and torture her femininity.  It’s probably no surprise then why she was interested by Grimly when she found him!

After the torture she would fall asleep, and then wake up back in her own bed. Safe and sound, and about to have to get up to go to school. So to anyone that thinks Grimly twisted the head of this girl, it was already severely twisted a decade or more before hand!

It is those feelings that this girl has been always trying to recapture via bdsm. Of feeling the most intense and exhilarating sensations physically but then wondering whether it really had happened. Whether it was just a dream. Grimly doesn’t often do anything that leaves marks, except in her head, but then he says that her brain is the part he enjoys torturing the most.

What he does to this girl physically meets her needs as a masochist, but the intensity of the sensations enables him to open those doors into her mind to plant in little suggestions of more important things and reminders to avoid her forgetting that she is his toy and his submissive. It’s his chance to let her mind realise the control he has over her.

So it’s no wonder this girl is aroused by the idea of him being able to do things both physically and mentally that she can’t fully recollect. It might be dangerous if she had any doubt about his motives. But she doesn’t. Her body wouldn’t allow that sort of trance like state if it truly felt in any danger. This girl wishes there were a few more times like that when she could space so deeply that it feels a bit more out-of-body, because still, there are times when it is difficult for her to get into that sort of ‘subspace’ though he’s currently working on a project that could well change all that. Sometimes it feels good to have that sort of dazed bliss half forgetful feeling but then of course there are other times when this girl thrives on every second of sensation wanting to feel every single thing he does and being able to see it coming to feel the fear and adrenaline as well. Lately, it feels those two different states are quite well balanced , but it will be interesting to see what his next round of experiments discovers!

4 thoughts on “Amnesia

  1. What a cracking blog……I actually feel sorry for Grimly !! He is the normal one 😉

    Mentioned to captivekink the other day about the time I put Mrs KC into full ponygirl bondage attire..she looked absolutely stunning and then the time approached for me to ‘do the deed’ with the pony…only problem was, there was no access through her PVC suit/harness etc !! AAAarrrgh! By the time I’d freed her and unbuckled everything, the moment was lost….exactly the opposite to what you describe in this blog!!! Great description of a wonderful session by you both, keep up the good work !

    You are both a rare diamond that is for sure.

    x KC

  2. KC
    Believe me your sympathy is totally misplaced. Me normal? ………I’m slightly insulted.

  3. LOL – I’m staying away from you should we bump into each other at The Barn 😉

    Normal in context with thisgirl 🙂

  4. ‘I’m staying away from you should we bump into each other’

    isn’t that a contradiction?

    you’re safe till probably September.

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