Four Candles?

Today thisgirl’s weblog is 4 years old.

It is strange to think it has managed to last this long. There have been a few times over the last year when this girl has toyed with ending it. Not ending it with Grimly of course, just no longer writing about what she does with him and what he does to her.

The main reason for that is concern that she sometimes shares too much, or conversely sometimes not enough and that people are bored of it. It is also hard when the audience is no longer entirely anonymous (which it was in the beginning) and that there are a least a couple of dozen people who know this girl in person as well as some persona on the internet. Initially, only Grimly knew so it was like she was writing it for him. Now she has to wonder what other people think as well, though for the most part it doesn’t censor what she wants to say. This girl has always been one of those people whose attitude to other people is ‘i’ll try and encourage people to like me but if they don’t, their loss’.

Though there is an element of trying to keep the standard up. The difficulty is sometimes how to top what has happened before? What else can this girl write about that you might possibly be interested in after she has experienced things such as the creature? Though ultimately of course there are always new things to experience, new people to meet.

So, the blog has gotten this far. A lot of blogs don’t. They start off well and then sort of fizzle out a bit, the writers get bored, or their relationships fail. This girl is far from bored with BDSM and close to being married to Grimly,yes for better or worse!

So yeah four candles this year …or fork handles 😉  Here’s one of the funniest Two Ronnies’ sketches :

This clip sort of fits something this girl was thinking about recently. Language. The same words spoken or written in a different manner can totally change the meaning and interpretation.

There have been other blogs and fetlife threads again about writing style and especially about the third person, and how some people think it’s not a correct form of english grammar.  This girl has not jumped in to defend her writing in any of those places because she knows that if someone doesn’t like it she is not going to change their minds. In the same way you might struggle to change the mind of someone who hates any particular author’s style. For example, Grimly hates Shakespeare. This girl likes it. She can understand it and has seen a lot of it in the theatre. He would never go to a Shakespearian play, not without being dragged and forced, because it’s not his thing. In the same way this girl appreciates how she writes might not suit some people, but then how she plays probably wouldn’t suit them either.

This girl does get a bit annoyed though by people saying its bad english, especially when most of those people are American!

 This girl is a pretty wordie type of person, she always enjoyed english at school and reading, and puts a lot of thought and effort to trying to work her vocabulary to paint the picture she is wanting the reader to envisage from the thoughts going on in her mind from her experiences of BDSM. So if people are still reading it after this amount of time it can’t be that bad!

 One of the other criticisms was that some people think writing like this shrieks ‘look at me , look at how submissive I’m being’. Hmm. This girl has never once claimed to be the world’s greatest sub. Far from it. She is still a bit of a brat. But she has bratted on some of the world’s best doms and the proof is there no matter in what manner its documented 😉   She has written quite a few times about why she writes like this. how it helps her think, how it stops her from just thinking of the first thing that comes to mind. It is a tool for expression. But then so is any blog. Furthermore, any blog at all has elements of egocentricity. Sharing personal experience with other people is a sign of being comfortable and proud of what you do and is partly about trying to gain respect for it. It’s not an altruistic mission. It’s a very personal one. It is about saying what you do. How you feel.

This girl is just a character of sorts. Painted for the real person behind to document one aspect of her life. Nothing more than that.

12 thoughts on “Four Candles?

  1. well i have to admit i have thoroughly enjoyed going back and reading and learning many new things. it has been most interesting and gave me many wonderful ideas to try out for the first time on some things. a major start for me 🙂
    may not go as far as breath play nor the electric but a good start.
    what ever you decide i understand but for some of us vanilla/ newbies we like your blog .
    as for bad English i enjoy you talking about your self as this girl it gives a nice flair of sensual mystery. 🙂

  2. “The difficulty is sometimes how to top what has happened before”
    If that was the only reason people read your blog, it would be a very sad state of affairs. I read this blog because it’s interesting, vibrant and parallels an aspect of my life hidden to others outside my relationship with my girlfriend.

    It’s great because it’s somewhat raw, unvarnished and appears above all to be honest. That’s something that is sorely lacking in many blogs around this subject matter (actually, blogs in general!), and it’s refreshing.

    Here’s to another 4 years!

  3. Your blog is fabulous simply because you express your thoughts and feelings so well. Your writing sparks all sort of emotions within me, you have made me laugh out loud and you have made me cry. If you gave up writing about the pervery between you and Grimly tommorrow and concentrated only on totally vanilla stuff I would STILL come along and read and relish.

    Congrats on four years, and heres to many more xx

  4. Happy Birthday and well done for persevering through the inevitable dry spells when you just don’t know what to write. I am not connected with the scene in any way other than enjoying your writing and if people criticise? They can always read something else!

  5. I whole heartedly agree with the comments above about your webpage. It enlightens, it teaches, it titilates, and it takes you along for the wild ride of your life. What more could one ask?!?
    I know I am looking forward to hearing anything that falls out the next time you pick your brain, and with your upcoming nuptuals, I implore you to give those of us who will have to RSVP as sorry that we can not attend, I look forward to having a ringside seat to hear all about it.

    Regarding Shakespeare, Grimly’s aversion may be with the “Scottish play”. I’m with Grimly on this one though because even though I do theater, Shakespeare and Sondheim always seem like much ado about nothing

    Happy 4th!

  6. Congratulations ! I thoroughly enjoy your blogs. They are amusing, honest and informative. Keep up the good work !

  7. Happy anniversary and long may your writings continue to enlighten and bring pleasure.
    Thanks for all your honesty and hard work.

  8. First, congratulations on 4 years. I’ve been struggling to keep my own vanilla blog going 3+ years but I’ve never matched your frequency of posting and I’ve certainly never amassed followers like you have.

    Next, don’t worry about we readers. Write the way you feel like writing. If it’s from a place of honesty and you’re writing about stuff you’re passionate about, it’ll.always be interesting.

    Next-next, don’t worry about outdoing your most recent adventure. Watching olympic sprinters would be boring if every race ended with a new world record. There’s usually a better story hiding out in the less spectacular events.

    Keep having fun. If that happens, the rest will take care of itself.

    I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog!

  9. “One of the other criticisms was that some people think writing like this shrieks ‘look at me , look at how submissive I’m being’. Hmm”

    Well, that’s because they don’t read as carefully as you write 🙂
    I’ve always found your writing to be a lovely mix of detachment and involvement and you both document and relive the scene in your words. Their loss, not your worry 🙂

    Anyway, you can’t please everyone, especially those who obviously enjoy discomfort!

    Loved your choice of video, if only because something I’m involved with had its 4th birthday a few years ago, and I was presented with a cake with the candles replaced by 4 items of plastic cutlery, buried up to their tines. Yup – a cake with Fork Handles.

    Well, what it is that I’m involved with has been going 11 years now, and I’ll check back regularly to make sure you’re still delighting us with your pen for at least as long…

    Happy Birthday and thank you for all the time and trouble you’ve taken on your blog – it’s a massive commitment, and one I appreciate.

  10. Well done on 4 good years! I do enjoy reading your blog cause you are so sincere about your self and your life. As for the Two Ronnys that is comady at its very best. Please keep writing for a few more years yet its good to read

  11. Thanks for the really lovely comments everyone, I really appreciate the kind words and thoughts in what you have all said. Sorry for the delay in replying i have been away a lot with family the last week or so and just slowly catching up with things!

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