** AKA The holiday pictures you never saw **
Whilst in the company of JG Leathers last week this girl got to see the creature again. This time, its rider/victim being the lady behind Alternative Mindsets* It was very interesting to see someone else in not so much her shoes, as her harness, and quite a turn on too!
The version of the creature used was mainly the leather harness, together with breather bottle and breast cups. So it lacked the added elements of the bouncy garage suspension springs and the electrics, but it looked amazing all the same.
It made this girl think whether she wanted another go of the creature after having tried it twice in Canada, and the way she is thinking at the moment she is hoping that she will have the opportunity but maybe with some adaptations that might be possible with a trans-atlantic collaboration. The first time this girl went in the creature it pretty much shell shocked her. Like being in a machine. Taken, and violently. The second time she was in a much more comfortable position and so it was a much more enjoyable ride. Being in the whine cellar at JG HQ was amazing, but the creature retained its presence this side of the pond also encapturing its new victim just as nicely.
The idea for this girl to dress up as a pony mistress was partly because sunday afternoons pony play was rained off but also because the harness alone is part of JG’s horsewoman interpretation as seen in pony girls at the ranch.
However, this girl found it a bit difficult to get in the role. It might have worked better if it had been outdoors or if she hadnt been in the presence of so many higher skilled dominants.
Sometimes getting into a dominant headspace is difficult for this girl. Well, saying that sometimes getting into the right submissive headspace is hard as well! This girl has often joked with Grimly how she would quite like to dominate him just once (these fantasies she gets normally involve buggering him) but the joke quickly fades when he puts her in her place. Literally and physically. Grimly has always said that if anyone was to dominate/top him it would need to be someone that he wouldnt be able to second guess. That he wouldnt be able to see what’s coming, and that would have inventions equal to or madder than his. How many people like that are there? (add to that they would need to be female and attractive) This girl knows that she doesnt fit the criteria for being able to shock him. He would see everything coming a mile off.
However, this girl can’t blame him. She would be the same if she were looking for another dom or considering one for play. For example, she’s quite happy to play with JG or Captive kink but some random at a club with a flogger and a st andrews cross – no way. In a way this girl feels bad that she’s been possibly spoilt and has a bit of snobbery going on but then in any aspect of life you get use to standards you are comfortable with and want the same or better. That also and bdsm is a sensory adventure, like an addiction always looking for the next rush , the next hit and a mediocre scene in a fetish club just would not meet the bill – it would be like taking paracetamol when you’re used to morphine to use a pain killer as opposed to a paingiver for a metaphore.
Since this girl started playing with Grimly she has felt pretty much inadequate as a dom. In a way thats a good thing because it encourages to focus on her role as his submissive, which is her main passion and her main fantasy. Its maybe also because she compares herself to him, she compares her skills to his and just doesnt feel as though she measures up in that regard. Though, even when she tried to pro dom in a place where the other doms were of equivalent skill she didnt feel right either but then there were other reasons why that didn’t feel right.
This girl never wrote about this before (mostly because of not really being fussed with the blog for the first half of this year too much and forgetting she had unfinished bits of what happened in Canada – and she doesn’t like to really write much about being dominant – since she really ISN’T) but she did have a rider herself in the creature thanks to JG’s hospitality. The rider shall remain anonymous for now unless of course they should choose to unmask… It was very kind of JG to allow it since he is quite picky about who he allows to use the full ensemble and for that this girl is very grateful.
She is not going to pretend that the rigging was her work because it wasn’t. She was merely the lab assistant and controller once the rigging was completed and it was the absolute full works.
The pressure this girl felt to be in control of the creature was unbelievable. This girl is a firm believe in the importance of safety during bdsm and just the amount of things to be aware of was daunting. Well, you can see the control panel in the picture below. ET312 x 2, vacuum, suction, breath control. The lot. Monitoring all of that whilst having the occupant dangling three metres away and making the occasional convulsion or whimper. It’s not just the visuals of that its the noise as well. The session at the weekend just now didn’t have as much of that. It didn’t have the noise of the vacuum pumping or the breath machines…just the (relatively) more tranquil sound of the bubbler bottle strapped to her. The trick to the thing was working out from the moans and the whimpers what was good pain and what was too much, and what was just sheer overkill.
But you know, the whole thing is kind of overkill. That is pretty much the point, and, both this girl when she was inside it, and her victim, knew what to expect….and got it.
It didn’t stop her feeling guilty afterwards. For helping assist with something that was very much wanted and desired. But she did. The creature is unforgiving, it can leave hints of its tortures on the body afterwards, but then, perhaps no more than the amount that might be left from a good caning. This girl felt bad about that though, as bad probably as when she (accidentally) cut someone who was into cutting. In that case the person quite liked it but this girl felt bad because it hadnt been meant.
This is possibly why this girl does not assume a dominant role too often, since she either feels overwhelmed by it and worries whether she will live up to the person’s expectations, or on the other hand, that little sadistic monster somewhere inside might try to escape – and there most definately is one as poor Maxi the other day found out when this girl kept encouraging Grimly to add further torments to her bondage!
But , these things are of course done out of friendship and to share the adventure.
Hopefully these last few paragraphs dont make this girl feel dangerous, it really is the opposite since she has always taken great care to ensure any submissive she plays with gets what they’ve wanted in a safe and controlled manner – its just sometimes that little sadistic monster wants out!