A question this girl received (in summary) :-
I recently spent quite some time reading through a very, very long “discussion” on a feminist site that I was linked to about kink.com. The generally held opinion among the woman who maintains this site and a vast majority of her fans seems to be that kinky sex is wrong, is strictly degrading to women, and has been scientifically proven to be damaging to them in the long term.
Do you think kink.com is a moral site? From the research I’ve done I have always found that the girls on the site were very happy with it and that the employees are very respectful to them, but some of the comments from the naysayers really got to me. Is it possible that they’re just being paid to lie? Is the industry preying on them? Do you maybe know someone who knows someone who has some firsthand experience? Is moral porn possible? Is moral S&M porn possible?
if you want to read the feminist view – here it is. if you’re here because you like or practice BDSM don’t waste your time with it unless thats your flavour of masochism 😉
The point of the feminist article that caught this girl’s attention is this :-
Kink.com depicts “torture mixed with the most degrading sex acts possible. The variety of cruel and bizarre devices, contraptions, machines, and objects that the producers have accumulated for use on the women featured on the site is terrifyingly mind-boggling, and the entire vibe more closely approximates the contents of a nightmare than anything I’ve ever seen while awake”
For her, and many people that are into BDSM that is the point. The fantasy. Goodness. What would the writer think of thisgirl who does it not for payment, but for FUN? Its funny actually because when this girl first was talking to Grimly, he asked her what her fantasies were. Or at the very least the bare bones of them. She described to him things that would be very similar to insex or to device bondage,sort of dungeons, tortures, pain and fear. There are two things that give you a rush as a masochist in this girl’s opinion. One of those is the physical sensation of what is actual happening, how it feels, how it hurts. The other is fear, the edge, not knowing what’s coming next, not knowing if she will be able to take it. Of course, behind that, when she is with Grimly there is always the subliminal reassurance that he is totally safe and the knowledge that he would not put her in danger.
This girl at one point made no secret of the fact that she would love to model for an ‘extreme bdsm’ site i.e. one that features things like bondage, electrics, medieval ish style tortures. Like insex. Like device bondage. But , the best ones are in the states. Plus, this girl is slightly over the average modelling age, and over the average model weight as well. Grimly keeps reassuring her that he thinks she is more gorgeous than a lot of professional kink models but this girl has slightly low confidence regards her body image and despite people saying things like that its really hard for to believe when all she sees in the mirror is what is fairest to describe as an average british woman. There are plenty of people this girl fantasizes playing with but its just whether they would accept her as she is? Men like PD (insex) & Gord, women like Amanda Wildfire, Anna Rose and Kumi. Bloggers like trinity pup and padme 😉 Though, who knows if there is any chance of that! However, three or four years ago she never expected she would meet , let alone, play, with JG Leathers (whose write up of the experience is here – worth clicking for the picture of grimly wearing a policemans hat alone!) so who knows what adventures there might be in the future. To date there are certainly people that this girl is honoured to have played with and JG & Steffy are just two of those. But, if she were to stop there and never play with anyone other than Grimly ever again she wouldn’t complain since she knows he is still full of plenty of ideas and adventures.
So, is kink.com moral? Are Bdsm websites moral? Is this girl moral? It depends who you’re asking doesn’t it. The feminist despot would say no. This girl would say yes. And no.
Morality is to do with being concerned with knowing what is right and what is wrong. As far as this girl is aware she doesn’t know of any models at kink that have been mistreated or abused. That isn’t to say it hasnt happened but she is not aware of it and presumably given the amount of fetish forums there are these days, it would. She is aware however of models there who have LOVED it. For example, Claire Adams. She seems to be very much alive to tell the tale. There are plenty of other bdsm models out there who do it because they love it, not because of the money. Though, there are the ones that do it for the money as well. The same way no matter what job you do your drive for doing it might vary between passion and vocation and between having to pay the bills.
In a sense kink.com is providing the equipment and scenarios for a lot of girls to enjoy doing something that they love. That they would do for free. (maybe?) . Whats immoral about that – about paying someone to do something they fantasize about doing. There is only one aspect of kink.com that this girl personally finds immoral and that is public disgrace. It is wrong on so many levels to avoid members of the public directly in a kink by carrying out sex acts in a public place where there might be minors. For example, a public park. It is non consensual for a start. And, in their bdsm stuff why does most of it end with either sex or a blow job LOL. But , the girls do seem to want to do it. This girl doesn’t see how thats exploitive.
Without asking one of the models directly its hard to know their motivations or their reasoning for initially making the first contact to say ‘hi can i work for you’. Because they will have had to that. Its not as though some BDSM
This girl so far has only modelled for one site. Northern Spanking. It is a long time since she made the initial enquiry but she’d noticed them after seeing the link on one of the girl’s profiles. This is the current wording of how they advertise. YOU ARE :
- A GENUINE submissive where corporal punishment is either a part of your lifestyle or something which excites you.
- The proud owner of a glorious bottom and willing to share it with 1000’s of people on the web and/or half a dozen gentlemen at a party.
- Reasonably photogenic. You don’t need to be a glamour model!
This girl had sent them an email and pictures, met the producers and then found things in common and gone from there. She’d done so because the pictures she’d seen looked professional, it looked fun and it looked within her capabilities. It was. Whenever this girl has done shoots for them it always felt like a bit of fun with friends with cameras rolling whilst indulging in fantasy and roleplay. Thats how working for a website should be . It should be fun, it should in part allow you to carry out your own fantasises and the ones of your audience provided that doesnt involve you going somewhere your head doesn’t want to take you. You can actually tell as well normally from watching a bdsm or spanking movie if the person is actually ‘into it’ and having fun.
If,utilitmately, such websites are mainly allowing women to get a few pennies for doing something they have always dreamed of how is that immoral or explotive?
Partly the feminist arguement goes back to the old idea that if a man puts it about he’s a stud and if a woman does so she’s a slut or being exploited by a man or men.
This girl likes to think that women fought for equality so they could choose what they wanted to do with their lives. With their bodies.
So what, really, is the problem if they choose this stuff, and if there are people that enjoy them having made that choice?
And what is wrong or immoral about being a woman who is not afraid to act on her fantasies provided those fantasies don’t involve harming anyone else who cannot consent? If the pain and suffering is only her own, and that she has chosen to endure and enjoy what the hell is the problem.