A review of 2009

Well as this year goes out here is the review of this girl’s year of pervertery, with a bit about each month and a quote from the first blog of each month also! Feel free to browse the archives and the photo galleries for more info if you want to!


The first few posts of the year were about this girl’s thoughts on punishment and about how that doesn’t really work for a masochist when its what they love :

“The biggest problem for this girl always has sort of been – pain isn’t necessarily a punishment. Its a thrill, a turn on, its sort of what she does. Being hurt mostly isn’t very often a reason to not be bad.”

This girl tried to define a bit more about what it is she is :

“At the moment this girl would say, being brutually honest, she is a masochist, and one who loves intolerable pleasure, which he is confidently capable of inflicting to all sorts of weird specifications

There’s more to it than masochism though. More to it than being ‘done. Though if there wasn’t, it wouldnt matter, as long as both were happy.

This girl is also a lover of being controlled, of being brainwashed, and of feeling as though she is *his*. She likes play being combined with reassurance of who is in control and of the fact that he can push amazing little buttons in her head with orgasmic results”

Grimly made a stockade for the fucking machine :-

January was also the month the UK started a law dubbed as being a ban on porn and certain sections of the kink community when a bit insane about it, but so far it seems a fuss over nothing.


“She’s hungry for Grimly, its true. Lately, its sort of almost worse than ever. Just the idea of being with him, is what keeps her kinda going, and maybe its wrong to have a life of wishing it away to the next visit…but…its better to have that then some sort of totally impossible fantasy right? At least its real and not all some sort of elaborate daydream in her head”

and also possibly this girl was gagging for it :


whilst Grimly decided it would be fun to do a bit of a head fuck by making her think he was going to shave her head


The discussion on chastity resumed :-

It’s one of the main topics that makes this girl question her submission because she really wants to rebel against the idea. Part of her really  hates the idea of wearing  a belt. The idea of the discomfort, of the constant reminder….of the control. It scares the shit out of her. Given BDSM is such a thing so driven by sexual urges…controlling someone sexually is sort of the worst or best thing that you can do…a dream for him a nightmare for her!

This girl decided she should really bend over backwards to be more submissive :-

March was also Q&A Month. These questions were answered :-

“What if he asked you to do something you really REALLY didn’t want to do/try? Would you feel you have let him down or would you feel disappointed he actually made the request?”

“Well I’d like to know a few sessions that to you were most memorable, and maybe why they were(and if you would want to experience them again.)”

‘thisgirl how long have you gone being fucked by the machine?What is the most orgasms ?

When you are “screaming and begging for mercy” Do you really mean it at that very moment?If so, when do you come back round to thinking – That was fun, when can we do it again – ? How would you react if Grimly actually took notice and acted on your pleas for mercy, instead of just carrying on having his wicked way with you ??

Grimly, My woman is a wimp…she accepts so much and then pleads with her eyes/body language etc for an orgasm…and the wimp who is married to her can’t resist those pleading eyes or pleading Mmmmphs and fails miserably by satisfying her/himself!!How do you cope when This Girl pleads for penetrative release?

I was wondering if you’ve ever employed predicament bondage involving electro-play options for this girl – ie presenting a choice between muscle-strain and electro stimulation?  Or between two types of electro?


This girl’s headspace was still a bit cocked up :

There are times of course when this girl gets confused, times when she wants the D/s to be more evident, times when she wants it to be less so. Mostly, it’s balanced, but sometimes those distinctions can occasionally get a bit blurred

though she also started thinking about being a rubber doll after making arrangements to meet with STEFFY and had a fantastic time in Wales over Easter ponying including using a plough and the guide dog below


This girl did some spanking modelling for her friends at Northern Spanking after having not done it for a few years.

“It was the first time in around three or four years this girl had done it, so, she was a bit nervous about it but it certainly became very fun and very interesting, very quickly. Mainly because a lot of the shoots involved working with a very pretty girl with a very rosie bottom and rosie lips ;) It reminded this girl that she is DEFINATELY bi-sexual lol”

This girl and Grimly also experimented with her sleeping in the chastity belt. The biggest highlight of the month though was another pony play day which was indoors but had enough room for racing and other fun.


The blog was 3.

“This girl didn’t really expect the blog to have lasted as long as this, given it started out as a pretty personal thing between her and Grimly and as a sort of anonymous voice. To a lot of people this girl is no longer anonymous. Quite a few people know the ‘real’ person behind the kink, and that’s rather nice. This girl considers sometimes whether that makes her censor things a bit more, but it doesn’t really since those people have gotten to know her for who she is warts and all”

STEFFY was over from Canada.


But the whole BDSM thing is an elaborate game or fantasy. This girl has pretty much learnt that the whole idea is to really see how far you can explore this concept of pleasure and pain. How detailed you can make it. How alive it can become and how much you can make yourself believe in it for that moment. This girl is not one of those ‘lifestyle’ people. This is not her life. This is part of it. A significant part, but not the pivot of everything. Grimly owns her, and she belongs to him – but that would be the case with or without all this amazing paraphernalia.

After the experience with STEFFY, this girl thought again about her sadistic side – and has more or less decided thats best staying dormant!


The blog hit 1 million views!

“The comments of course mean more though, since stats can just mean people have hit it by accident whilst looking for some niche porn interest and have maybe left not getting what they were looking for. So,the feedback is great to get and is always appreciated whether it be by public comment or email.”

Grimly ‘celebrated’ by making this girl a stainless steel chastity belt and she also got a new catsuit designed to be compatible with the sort of play she and Grimly do.


Prior to going to Canada later in the month, Grimly & this girl played about with the musical capabitlities of the ET312

“So one of the last new things experimented was musical electrics. The ET312 box has the capability for pulses to be synchronised with sound. So, this girl took her keyboard up to Grimly’s and he rigged it up to the electrical box, whilst she was strapped to the subby stand – which has electrical contacts on the top for her to sit on. It was interesting – because she could play tunes and get zapped to their rhythm”

This girl also wrote quite a bit about reading and had a bit of a mental session at Grimly’s before going to see JG Leathers

Her FLIckr got deleted but this girl has not missed it!


This Girl and Grimly returned to Canada engaged, after having had an amazing time in the company of JG Leathers & friends. Whilst there she got to try the creature, something she had wanted to try ever since seeing a picture a few years ago. Though of course other things happened, and this girl and Grimly met a whole lot of fantastic people.

“MY life is NOT going to be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely, in a pretty and well preserved body. I fully intend to skid in with my shoes on fire, a smile on my face,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,and loudly proclaiming”WOW!! What a friggin’ ride!”


This girl continued her write up of her Canadian adventures (though there are still more unwritten!) and wrote a little about escapology :-

This girl doesn’t really want to be an escapologist as such. She doesn’t want to learn about the weakness of a piece of bondage kit unless it’s something blindingly obvious to her. Since, thats not the point of it. The point of bondage for this girl is for her to feel in a secure and controlled place where she can wait for other things to happen. Things that she wants to happen, but might decline if actually given the option. That, and it’s erotic of course just by itself. Although, the straight jacket fella did hint that he enjoyed the jackets he couldn’t get out of possibly more than the ones that could be escaped.

She also went to a fetish party where she got to play with Gypsy, the pony girl again


This girl spent most of December playing with her new car after being inspired by STEFFY’S roadster

“This girl has been busy with having fun, working too much and this girl has a new passion as well! A new car! There is really not a lot of time or inclination for the internet at the moment since there are way too many other distractions.These pictures are *not* of what this girl has bought, but what she has got is almost as fun”.


This girl would like to keep it simple really, mostly just to build upon the friendships she’s initiated this year, get to some more events at least domestically. Though, if all goes to plan hopefully this girl and Grimly will sort out getting married!

Happy 2010 everyone

Previous years : 2008 2007

4 thoughts on “A review of 2009

  1. Hello there,
    I have been following your site for the past year. I will continue to follow you in the future. I wish you and Grimly all the best in the coming year and your future together (even though i think you should go deeper into the chastity, but hat is a personal kink i enjoy myself, w/ myself being the one locked up). Anyway, your viewpoints are taken in thougth and makes me think about my own journey that has yet to really get started as a good lil sub/slave boy in the future. Thank you.

  2. You have been the top ( is that the right word for you? ) Lady on the internet this year…and I probably speak for most in thanking both you and Grimly for a great view of bondage over this last year…thanks.
    Both of you have a wonderful New Year ( and you’d BETTER get married !!!)…

    Oh and enjoy the barn tonight !!

    x KC

  3. Getting to the bottom (that is the right word for you;-) It has been such a thrill to hear (warts and all) about goes on inside. I have always been facinated by what can’t be voiced. In a scene when you are in total sensory deprivation/overload to hear what can be remembered of the experience for me is a real rush. These are the sensations that a Top, never is quite sure of. “it is all right to do this with love, or is it an oxymoron to hurt the one you love?”

    You have been able to find ways to put down onto paper feelings and emotions is ways that only a few people (like the KC’s and JG) have been able to do before. I especially enjoy the comments about the build-up and ebbs and flows during your sessions. being left in a totally vaunrable position, feeling the lack of torment, yet the confinement of position is something that is not normally discussed(Mr. K.C. used to call it “letting her stew in her own juices”)

    You show how it is okay to have fun doing this and that what is being done is consentual. You and Grimly show that even without the usual contextual clues to know how effective a torment can be, that you can work together to create sensations few can dream of feeling without even physically touching much.

    The other aspect you really need to be commended for is tackling those inner thoughts and demons those of us interested in the community have all probably rolled around in our brains. “Why is it I do these things and get enjoyment from them?” “what in my life has made me want to hurt or be hurt by another person ‘in a good way’?”

    You have a gift for rolling things around in your head and placing them on paper that lets the world know that there
    is some abnormalty to peoples who enjoy this, but then there are odd things about peole who fly fish and collect stamps. I’ll never understand why people would get orgasmic about fishing for flies, but then again they probably would not get why your words and images can be such a mental and physical turn on for me.

    We probably will never meet and like many of your avid readers have the opportunity to get to know the real you. Yet you have enriched my life and countless others by just being you and sharing with the world what it is that makes you “tick”

    Thanks also to Grimly for being a part of this as well. Your life has been put on display as well and this is exposure that many would not be comfortable about. Glad to hear you are making her an “honest woman” and understanding what a rare and precious gift she has given you. You both are special people that have done so much for those who can’t be doing the same.


  4. Elliott, hi and welcome – thanks for your comments 🙂

    Kc, thanks and all the best to you and the mrs! maybe one of these days our paths will cross 🙂

    Tim, i can’t really add anything to what you have said your comment has really touched me…all i can say is i think maybe i should make you president of my fan club! xx happy new year xx

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