Forgetfulness

Poppy

Someone at this girl’s work today said ‘so why is there the 2 minutes silence at 11am’ Seriously. Like the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11 month meant nothing.  Maybe to some people it doesn’t. Certainly to this girl and to Grimly it means something, since both of them have always honoured remembrance sunday and the 11th November. Its how they were brought up.

For this girl it was always a family thing, going to observe the silence at the local monument and then watching the poppies being drifted out to sea. Something about sharing that sign of respect with people close to you is important, it means something and especially since its important to remember what people have sacrified, and continue to do so.

Though of course, yeah, there’s people who forget that or just don’t think about it. So, maybe the person who asked why it was just didn’t have the same understanding of what it means, or interest. But for this girl its something thats important to remember and show respect of.

This girl gets worried sometimes about forgetting other things. She mostly has a good memory, but sometimes little things that she would like to save a place for in her head don’t stick..and just with time sort of get forgotten a bit. Things related to her childhood, to family members that aren’t alive anymore. This girl sort of worries about that she’s starting not to think about her Gran as much as when she first died, and that because of that she’ll start to forget things, like what she sounded like, or what her favourite cardigan was like. Maybe that sounds silly to some people, but its something this girl is afraid of forgetting. Well perhaps not so much the cardigan, since it was pretty unforgettable given it looked like a big hairy bumblebee 🙂

Probably this girl has been guilty lately a bit of forgetting what Grimly means to her. Since getting back from Canada, there’s been a lot going on, workwise, and places to go and do things. So this girl hasn’t really had a chance to be really all that submissive to him, so because of that she’s sort of lost the feeling of that a bit. It’ll be ok the next time she sees him, but at the moment, its sort of because he’s not there she doesn’t really have the reminders that she would like. She wants to feel controlled, and submissive, but sometimes when trying to work extra and manage everyday life, which is life 200 miles away from him , thats difficult.

Really, Grimly means a lot to this girl. Maybe other people don’t see it, but whilst they might see him as a villain he is her hero. He rescued her from being unhappy, and from being with someone who just drained her confidence, finances and view of herself. So he’s not a hero in the sense of winning some battle or medal, but he’s a hero to her and not a person on this planet can convince her otherwise. Sometimes theres moments when she forgets all of that though, when she has a rough day and bites his head off, but probably a lot of relationships are like that where you maybe snap at each other when you really dont mean to …its just thats the person thats there ..and she really does appreciate Grimly being there for her, even when its just as support and company, rather than as a dominant. So most people maybe wouldnt agree, but to her its more important that he’s her friend and partner than her Dom.

Mostly though she keeps forgetting that she’s supposed to be submissive.

It shouldnt be that difficult to be submissive. He isnt’ demanding and BDSM with him is fun and exciting, and an adventure. The physical parts are easy…the stuff you see pictures of thats the easy bit…getting into the right headset is okay too sometimes….it’s just the sort of problem is working out how to stay in it. This girl always thought she had the balance of it worked out just right, but at the moment it sort of feels a bit wonky. To be honest, this is probably just mostly drop from the holiday, since there hasn’t been much BDSM happening since then due to nilla stuff, and its sort of like going from that fantastic experience to being back at work, and working extra, and having issues with a few things mechanically at home that things just feel a bit crap. So going from 25 degrees in Canada to 4 degrees in Scotland doesn’t help either! (centigrade)

Though, there’s good memories of the holidays and still more stories on that to come plus more adventures planned so this spell should lift. Sorry for the mope!

4 thoughts on “Forgetfulness

  1. Thank you. I connected deeply with your sentiments.

    I often feel saddened that my vanilla life gets in the way of showing my appreciation for my partner. She means the world to me. But this reminded (as I often find myself ignoring it) that she understands and in some cases may feel the same way.

    Thanks again. -Cheers, SwitchSpace.

  2. Hey!

    Lovely thoughts, as usual!

    I have a suggestion for your ‘memory’ thing, especially regarding loved ones, memorable events, etc:

    I tend to write. The idea of a journal has always seemed hoakey to me though – reflecting to yourself on paper can seem a bit self involved! So, I write about memories, or more accurately, I write poetry, or little one paragraph capsules of thought – I find this helps me unlock other, related memories

    (ie – grandfather’s house, smell of his pipe, reading with him in his library). Not only does it seem to have a recall effect, but if I read something I wrote two years ago, I’m taken back to exactly how I was feeling at that time.

    I find that my own writing is much more effective than looking at pictures!

  3. Thank you both for your really nice comments 🙂
    Destruction, i’ve always liked writing so maybe i should do that thanks for the thought 🙂

  4. I don’t think it is forgetfulness about posting a column but real life catching up from being away for a while. I’m just a fan who enjoys hearing more, and look forward to your next post and more about your trip across the pond

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