Do you ever go through phases where it feels like your workplace is never without at least one pregnancy? The last year has been like that for this girl. Some people even alledge there is a desk that if you sit there you’ll be next. Sort of like a bouquet idea but a computer terminal. In her workplace pregnancy is a funny thing, and then the whole process of bringing the baby in after like some sort of trophy. This whole thing doesn’t help when this girl has PMT!
Seeing babies or having to talk about them when she’s hormonal is not good. It is sort of like a reminder that she is going through yet another monthly cycle and yet another month closer to a biological time bomb. It’s ticking quite a lot, especially seen as this girl is getting closer to 30.
Though pretty much she has made her mind up on the kids issue. It’s unlikely to happen. Making that statement is being realistic. It’s like , despite there being times when the thought of having a family feels good, there are more times when it doesn’t. This girl has never really been good round babies, she’s never been maternal. Besides, if she has a kid then she’ll have to grow up! It would been giving up what she’s been trying to fight to get. Basically what she wants more than anything is a normal relationship with Grimly, not one over distance. One just the two of them. Together.
The distance thing sucks. Apart from really like now, when she has pmt, with which he is not compatible! lol.
But no, being realistic about the whole baby thing – he has been there and done the kids thing – is it fair to ask him to revisit that for her sake? That’s the issue sometimes with being with someone thats a bit older, at a sort of different stage with some life issues. There were times when that felt like a big issue for this girl but for a long time it hasn’t. It’s like, she could be with someone else and be unhappy. She could have got married to, and had kids with her ex, and been unhappy. Is it not better to be with someone that makes you happy and that makes you feel special than someone at the same stage of life as you that is an abusive bastard? Or useless Dom?
This girl would not give Grimly up for anything. He makes her happy and makes her feel special, nothing more could add to that. You know, there’s things to that as a mother this girl couldn’t do….like the adventure that she is about to shortly set off on. She wouldn’t be able to go on a kinky holiday that’s for sure.
People manage probably, to fit their kink round their families, but, when the kink has got to the stage of taking over half the house would it be the same to get rid of it have just stuff hidden under the bed? It wouldn’t.
Ultimately this girl wants to be able to share a home and a life with Grimly, to be able to have people over and be more social than at the moment when she feels life is just sort of hold inbetween the time when she doesn’t see him and when she does. She doesn’t want to share him with anyone really. Not with another sub, and probably not with a child either. Is that selfish? Is it wrong though really for her to know what she wants and for her to know that it probably isn’t want anyone else thinks is normal?
Maybe its unsubmissive to write this sort of blog . There were loads of threads recently on fetlife as to whether a woman should accept a Dom’s decision on this issue i.e. if the Dom wanted to breed then the sub would have to accept. Some people actually thought that. No. You need to put the needs of the child first because that little person is going to be your main concern for the next 18+ years, not the Dom. And if you put obeying your Dom before your child’s needs then there’s possibly something not quite right about that. Having children (or not) needs to be a joint decision regardless of BDSM orientation, and , if its something that an agreement can’t be reached on then it’s maybe the wrong relationship. Ultimately, this girl has pretty much made that agreement. Sometimes it makes her feel a bit sad that it’s one thing she won’t ever have…but then…in place of that there are so many things that she will have…so …it’s not as if her life will ever be worthless or without adventure. Really nothing could be further from the truth.
The problem is occasionally these daft hormones try to convince her she wants something else. But no, all she wants is Grimly. That’s all she’s ever wanted from the first time she worked out she loved him.