Oh baby baby

Do you ever go through phases where it feels like your workplace is never without at least one pregnancy? The last year has been like that for this girl. Some people even alledge there is a desk that if you sit there you’ll be next. Sort of like a bouquet idea but a computer terminal. In her workplace pregnancy is a funny thing, and then the whole process of bringing the baby in after like some sort of trophy. This whole thing doesn’t help when this girl has PMT!

Seeing babies or having to talk about them when she’s hormonal is not good. It is sort of like a reminder that she is going through yet another monthly cycle and yet another month closer to a biological time bomb. It’s ticking quite a lot, especially seen as this girl is getting closer to 30.

Though pretty much she has made her mind up on the kids issue. It’s unlikely to happen. Making that statement is being realistic. It’s like , despite there being times when the thought of having a family feels good, there are more times when it doesn’t. This girl has never really been good round babies, she’s never been maternal. Besides, if she has a kid then she’ll have to grow up! It would been giving up what she’s been trying to fight to get. Basically what she wants more than anything is a normal relationship with Grimly, not one over distance. One just the two of them. Together.

The distance thing sucks. Apart from really like now, when she has pmt, with which he is not compatible! lol.

But no, being realistic about the whole baby thing – he has been there and done the kids thing – is it fair to ask him to revisit that for her sake? That’s the issue sometimes with being with someone thats a bit older, at a sort of different stage with some life issues. There were times when that felt like a big issue for this girl but for a long time it hasn’t. It’s like, she could be with someone else and be unhappy. She could have got married to, and had kids with her ex, and been unhappy. Is it not better to be with someone that makes you happy and that makes you feel special than someone at the same stage of life as you that is an abusive bastard? Or useless Dom?

It isn’t.

This girl would not give Grimly up for anything. He makes her happy and makes her feel special, nothing more could add to that. You know, there’s things to that as a mother this girl couldn’t do….like the adventure that she is about to shortly set off on. She wouldn’t be able to go on a kinky holiday that’s for sure.

People manage probably, to fit their kink round their families, but, when the kink has got to the stage of taking over half the house would it be the same to get rid of it have just stuff hidden under the bed? It wouldn’t.

Ultimately this girl wants to be able to share a home and a life with Grimly, to be able to have people over and be more social than at the moment when she feels life is just sort of hold inbetween the time when she doesn’t see him and when she does.  She doesn’t want to share him with anyone really. Not with another sub, and probably not with a child either. Is that selfish? Is it wrong though really for her to know what she wants and for her to know that it probably isn’t want anyone else thinks is normal?

Maybe its unsubmissive to write this sort of blog . There were loads of threads recently on fetlife as to whether a woman should accept a Dom’s decision on this issue i.e. if the Dom wanted to breed then the sub would have to accept. Some people actually thought that. No. You need to put the needs of the child first because that little person is going to be your main concern for the next 18+ years, not the Dom. And if you put obeying your Dom before your child’s needs then there’s possibly something not quite right about that.  Having children (or not) needs to be a joint decision regardless of BDSM orientation, and , if its something that an agreement can’t be reached on then it’s maybe the wrong relationship. Ultimately, this girl has pretty much made that agreement. Sometimes it makes her feel a bit sad that it’s one thing she won’t ever have…but then…in place of that there are so many things that she will have…so …it’s not as if her life will ever be worthless or without adventure. Really nothing could be further from the truth.

The problem is occasionally these daft hormones try to convince her she wants something else. But no, all she wants is Grimly. That’s all she’s ever wanted from the first time she worked out she loved him.

7 thoughts on “Oh baby baby

  1. some might say that having a baby is quite submissive… devoting a large part of your life to someone you love more than anything.

    its a completely selfless and “normal” thing to do.

    its why we have penises and vaginas.

    c.

  2. It’s normal to consider children as you get older, and being around a baby factory (such is the office) just makes it worse. I’ve been there myself even though I decided at the age of 16 that I wasn’t going to have children and haven’t wavered from that at all.

    I to have seen the posts about a submissive being bred just to suit the Dom’s tastes and I can honestly say that I disagree with the idea. There has to be some backstory that we aren’t seeing because it goes against the whole communication thing if the Dom just decides something like that without considering your whole well-being. Pregnancy and motherhood impacts your entire life, not just the current relationship.

  3. Chris, sure, submissive to the child perhaps not to the dom.

    I’m not saying there is anything abnormal about parenting ! Far from it! I am just saying that when making this decision you need to take into account what you want for yourself, what your financial situation is, what sort of life you can give that child and also what you are giving up and all things considered my opinion is what it is. There are times i wont agree with my decision on this too. But thats a female thing.

    Luna, i agree the decision has to be for the right reasons not for bDSM.

    x

  4. If you BOTH agree as to whether or not you want children, then it is your business and no one elses, so enjoy your lifestyle. (Grandad)

  5. lol exactly… we do…we have things as we want …apart from the distance thing! I am so sick of that at the moment!

  6. You don’t have to make absolute decisions right now. You seem fairly young so don’t worry about it. I fought off having kids for years but, now we have a son, I am so glad I went with my wife’s wishes.

    I’m also pleased that we waited until we were both happy with the decision and we had done most of the things we wanted to do. Now he’s growing up we find we have a raft of things we want to do again (only this time they are a little less vanilla!).

    I wish you luck.

  7. this is true and its not an absolute absolute decision, but i have my reasons for what i wrote above and most of those can’t/won’t change. I’m not going to reply to comments on this subject anymore because i don’t feel i should need to defend what i wrote – it’s a womans right to choose even if that choice means not contemplating it as much as other people might.

    Best wishes

    TG

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