This girl was not one of those people that rushed into losing their virginity either at the age of consent (or before in so many people that she knew then). Why was there any need to rush into that? Yep. This girl was one of those people that tried to wait till it was right.

Maybe it’s just how this girl was brought up. Which, might seem a bit inconsistent with how she is now – but being into BDSM doesn’t mean you have to have had masses of sexual partners or that you lost it at the age of 14.  BDSM doesn’t necessary mean changing your views on what sex and intimacy mean to you. It’s just really one other aspect to your sexuality.

This girl’s views on what sex means probably come from her mother.  This girl was pretty sheltered as a kid  – only child syndrome and all of that, and her mum always made out sex was not really a brilliant thing, and that getting pregnant or any other consequences stops you from doing what you want.  This girl is not sure if her mum sometimes resents the ‘getting married and having a family thing’ but then, maybe it’s just one of those grass is greener things. That you always think about what you don’t have, instead of trying to be thankful for what to do. This girl tries to appreciate what she has, but you know, more money to be able to have a few extra luxuries and to be able to travel more sure would be nice!

Anyway, this girl’s mum didn’t lose her virginity till after the wedding. Or so she says. But then, this girl’s mum is so naive about a lot of things this girl doesn’t think that there can be any other explanation than that its true. It’s not important anyway. But that, combined with also other family  habits consistent with monogomy no matter what, sort of explain why this girl sees sex as something worth waiting for and saving for that one special person.

So, she waited, just till she was 20.  She met someone on the net, and fell for him. It’s a long story. It lasted a couple of years, and this girl thought she was totally in love with him. He wasn’t kinky though, and there were other things that were just not right with the relationship. Distance and lack of a lot in common  sort of made it run it’s course and it fizzled out. He wasn’t the one, but, probably this girl wouldn’t change the fact that she had that experience.

Her next relationship was with her ex dom. She had sex with him the first time after meeting. It wasn’t as good as with the guy before. Not by a long way. Though it was a bit different in that she’d got into her head it would be this great D/s relationship and that having sex with him, pleasuring him, was part of that. In a good D/s relationship pleasure and intimacy should feature if it suits what the two people are in the relationship for, but in that instance, it just didn’t work. This girl soon found out that sex with just her, wasn’t enough for him. He wanted her to be a bit kinky and be the person to dangle on his arm to the family, but he wanted to have it away with as many people as possible as well.

It wasn’t all bad, and in a way this girl can’t complain so much about that aspect of him because he never tried to hide the fact. It’s just how he was. An arsehole!  He encouraged her bi-sexuality, and this girl has had plenty of fun with women which was an experience she is glad she had the opportunity to explore.  But he only did that because he wanted to have sex with other women himself. He saw sex differently. This girl has always seen it as intimate, and special.Sleeping with girls is still sleeping with other people though, and it sort of just confused things. It’s difficult for this girl to go that far with someone and not have feelings for them, and it just gets hard when you try and split your feelings between more than one person.  For Grimly she’s happy to have him ,and him alone. It’s better that way.

This girl has just always seen sex as sort of the closest you can be with someone, the most intimate you can get.

You know what.

It isn’t.

This girl did not have sex with Grimly for around about 7 months or something. Despite playing with him on at least a monthly basis. It was a play thing. It wasn’t supposed to be about doing that. But what happened was he penetrated this girl’s head before he penetrated her cunt. Not, you know, by like a blow job or anything but mentally on a sort of different level.

The closest you can be with a partner, can sometimes just involve taking the time to get to know them, what they need, what their fantasies are. Sometimes that involves sex as well. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Grimly totally got into this girl’s head. Easily. Brainwashed. Whatever.

This girl started feeling that she was totally his, under his spell. Able to orgasm when he clicked his fingers.

So, given she could have an orgasm just from him controlling her mind, meant that penetrative sex wasn’t as important or essential, at least for her to get it. But then , once she felt like she was his slave, she wanted him to be able to do *everything* She wanted him to be able to use her take her, do everything. Mostly though she wanted to please him. She wanted him to orgasm too. That in itself is a bit of a game, given it’s very very difficult to get him to do that, when Grimly get’s more out of being mentally controlling and doing freaky bondage than he does from doing what most men do of having an orgasm and falling asleep 😉 Having an orgasm for a man generally ends the game, at least for a bit and he wants it to go on. and on . and on. and on. Till she’s begging him to stop. Such a bastard 😉

But yeah, by the time the moment came , that sort of moment of where it’s like – ‘if we’re going to have sex, it’s happening now’ this girl had him fully lodged in her head, and had fallen in love with him. The first time really that she had been in love with someone, without having had sex with them already by then. it felt right. It felt intimate, it felt really emotional, and submissive too.

Sex with Grimly is different to how its been with other people for this girl. When she’s in bed with him, she knows he’ll orgasm when HE wants and so will she. Multiply. She’s not going to bed wondering whether it will work and she’ll orgasm, or whether like when she had sex with her ex whether he would orgasm ages before she got even close. Theres none of that sort of issue. The only issues are how Grimly will make her feel, how controlled, how submissive.  He only has to look at her when he’s doing that, and she feels like she’s just some girl that has absolutely no control over what’s happening to her body. None at all, and that’s because he has totally penetrated her mind.

Gosh the other day he added something else, he only had to say tell her once it would happen and it worked. It’s a bit too intimate to share here, but lets just say this girl ended up with more orgasms than she could handle and still has sore muscles from the waist down 3 days later. It’s not so much a complaint, it’s just how things are. It fucking scares her to think how deep his penetration into her head has gone that he can just do that, say something – and it happens.

But then surely, if this girl didn’t want it to work – it wouldn’t. It sort of proves the point though that it’s a waste of time for her to fight him, or to brat against him, when it can be just so amazing when she lets him do his thing to her.

But what next?

4 thoughts on “Penetration

  1. Quote:-

    But then surely, if this girl didn’t want it to work – it wouldn’t.

    And that just about sums up a loving couple 🙂

  2. Being a virgin until the wedding is something I know about so I understand where you wewre when you started after your schooling.

    I’d like to also say Hi to Mrs. KC, who I gather has been allowed to have her hands secured in front so she could type for once. Hoping everything is good with you. Any plans for both couples to get together at some point?

  3. HI thanks for the comments, hope you are all correct on that one! Though you know…i dont want this to read too much like a fairytale lol

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