Of human bondage

This girl has read a lot of things recently that suggest quite a few people are happy to indulge in D/s and or BDSM without it being a loving relationship. Without being in love with their Dom or sub. This girl wouldn’t be happy in that situation.

It’s odd because, when she started playing with Grimly she didn’t expect to fall for him. Of course you can’t pick who you fall for,even if they happen to be some evil bastard with a penchant for torture someone has to have a cuddly spot for them, and Grimly’s cuddly spot  is right here funnily enough!

This girl doesn’t feel it would work so well if she didn’t love him. She realised she wanted to belong to Grimly and be enslaved by him about the same time she fell in love with him.  It didn’t have to happen together, it just seemed right that way. Though of course his ability to fulfill her fantasies involving bdsm and bondage sort of got her attention – how could it not? Though of course if he hadn’t been compatible with her on other levels it would not have worked.

Before she found Grimly, this girl had the fantasy of being someone’s slave without really understanding totally what that meant. Though everybody does that till they’ve worked out what works for them. It’s so easy to have an idea in your head of what it might be like to be owned by someone, controlled, used and taken on some sort of sensory journey.  But this girl found by quite a few mistakes that you can’t really get fully into it if you don’t feel something for your Dom. You need to feel you respect them as a person, you need to be confident they can fulfill your needs and dreams and that they appreciate you for your own self and that they have the ability to make the whole thing fun instead of some sort of one sided chore. You can’t just be a slave, or a Master for that matter because you give yourself that title you have to feel you have been it, in whatever way you and your partner feel it should be manifested. Or at least, that is this girl’s view.

Maybe there are people out there who don’t see how this girl goes about things as being ‘a proper slave’. Whatever. Though, do those people orgasm from being told what they are?  😉  This girl couldn’t really see how she could have felt comfortable with that trigger being implanted if she didnt want to be physically, mentally and emotionally bound by/to Grimly. The full works maybe. Does it make this girl a slave that she wishes to do things to please him, because he symbolically bought her and collared her or does she do it just cos he’s this guy she loves? There’s an answer to that…when she’s cooking him his dinner or taking him to the theatre or a show or something it’s because she wants to do nice things for the man she loves but when she’s playing with him or pleasuring him whilst locked up in the chastity belt…well maybe you can work it out 😉 Sometimes there’s some crossover because really the whole thing is about trying to fulfill the fantasy of someone she wants to be happy for various reasons and the simple fact that he can rack her body with lots of pain is not really all that relevant in that regard! Well ok maybe it is a little, some of the time!

Grimly asked this girl earlier today if she could go a night lying next to him without wanting to cuddle him. She couldn’t. Not even if he’d been a total bastard and if he’d spent the evening ensuring every inch of her body was restricted with clamps hanging off her nipples and labia and electrodes in her cunt and ass whilst using the sjambok on her and her body stressed from the bondage, and not even if he made her watch her own torture on the video mask and totally mind fucked her and  not even if he then proceeded to put in her chastity after it all, would she not want to cuddle him. Not that the above is an invitation Grimly it’s not! But yeah, it would probably make her want to cuddle him more since the more sadism given the more tenderness needed after it. Oh and not of course forgetting that his ability to do all those things is why this girl is with him to begin with!

Though, if he did one of those ‘man’ things of needing to be right about something…well then maybe she wouldnt cuddle him. Ok, maybe that’s not a very slave like thing to say but  it’s that kind of thing that puts a  bit of realism in this relationship. This girl can take the humph with him if he’s annoying. Though it never lasts long.

Maybe what this girl is trying to say is that this feels right, because she really couldn’t feel any more owned and loved by him and that feels best together. A previous play partner once said obedience is more important than love, but then is it??? When your average person has greater needs than sex and quick fixes.  It’s nice to sort of feel you have someone to share things with, to talk about your shitty job with and to go for walks on the beach or to the movies with.

Just having someone to play with would be fine but it would never feel enough for this girl,she doesn’t want something to end when the cuff gets unlocked or the orgasm finishes or even when she drives away.  It’s more rewarding to be obedient too for someone that means more to her than  a couple of hours play. It feels more like it means something special and a lot more erotic.It sort of works better knowing that things aren’t totally cold turkey and that there’s someone to support her till the next time she can explore her fantasies and that has a similar imagination and mindset.

This girl needs to belong to that type of person, instead of someone that just sees her as a toy. She is his toy,but more than that too 🙂 Maybe its an odd thing that he does all this weird stuff to the girl he loves, but then what’s *his* reason – for love to make her happy…or cos he’s trying to keep the illusion going that he’s the most sadistically twisted man in the universe and that he prides himself on coming up with deviant things to do to the female body?

It might just be both! How could it be anything else and how could anything else make it so magical?

This girl wouldn’t feel right belonging to someone she didn’t have this with. How could it remotely measure up?

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