This girl get’s this thing a lot. Of – ‘Wow…i wish you/someone would do that to me’. But would they really want what this girl has? Really? If they knew the warts and all?
People are attracted to what is on the surface. The kit. The concept. Gosh, maybe there are some people with kinks twisted enough to even be attracted to this girl…or Grimly…now that is a niche kink to have! 😉
But the whole BDSM thing is an elaborate game or fantasy. This girl has pretty much learnt that the whole idea is to really see how far you can explore this concept of pleasure and pain. How detailed you can make it. How alive it can become and how much you can make yourself believe in it for that moment. This girl is not one of those ‘lifestyle’ people. This is not her life. This is part of it. A significant part, but not the pivot of everything. Grimly owns her, and she belongs to him – but that would be the case with or without all this amazing paraphernalia.
In all honesty, the attraction started with BDSM, but it’s not everything. These people that live their lives for it and it alone well perhaps they’re the ones living in a fantasy world. This girl knows she is lucky to have what she has. Though not because of the kit or because of the stuff you see. Because that’s the shallow stuff.
It means a lot more to have someone to share this with. Otherwise what is it – a visit to a pro, a casual session, self gratification – it’s better with a regular friend and collaborator.
This weekend sort of showed that.
This girl and Grimly had planned to play extensively, take lots of pictures of it. Show off, whatever. Have lots of sex.
Then the heatwave happened. It was just too hot to think about playing much.
Though some play happened and some fantastic sex with earth shattering orgasms. Though, at the moment this girl doesn’t feel really like writing about the experience of being doubly hooked and hanging from the ceiling in bondage. It doesn’t feel important at the moment. Maybe there are people there that would want to read about that – but when you know that really this girl was dripping with sweat, and Grimly was wearing shorts does it sound all that erotic? lol The imagery just doesn’t work quite the same.
This girl doesn’t write here to maintain some imagery or illusion of what BDSM should be like – it’s just what its like for her, and that sometimes involves things besides bondage , latex and electrocution. Sometimes it involves that mushy lovey stuff. So that’s the way things are.
This weekend, what meant the most was paddling together at the seaside, cooling off after a nice dinner.
Though the play was amazing, it wasn’t the only thing that mattered and it never is.
So maybe that shatters some folks illusion of BDSM that its not like some porn movie or internet photo set. It’s not glamour, it’s not about constantly being dressed in latex, or kept naked and leashed in the kitchen.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t pursue whatever fantasy it is you desire (within obviously it being relatively safe, sane and consensual) but just be aware that there is more to it than instant gratification. Sometimes you find that you just want to spend time with the person who does all that stuff for you, just for the sake of spending time with them.