Some people think health and safety is boring or something that causes inconvenience or irritation. It can be. In any sort of work context, it’s often quoted as a reason for *not* doing something that might be of benefit but could be costly or a reason for spoiling fun like not letting kids play conkers because one might get injured – stuff like that. Sure, here in the uk we live in a f***ing nanny state! But, in a BDSM context health and safety is essential, even if it’s not perhaps overtly evident.
A comment left on this girl’s last blog asked what health and safety precautions are taken. You know…what if.
Well, the thing is, Grimly and this girl *know* what they are doing, and they care about each other too much to do things dangerously. When this girl is with Grimly she’s as safe as ever she could be with any twisted demented sadist, but yeah, far safer than being in an aeroplane or a car or a rollercoaster.
Between them, this girl and Grimly have probably in excess of 30 years experience at doing this stuff. Some types of play you can learn quickly i.e. spanking – where it’s just a matter of learning the best technique to use on the bottom presented to you, but other things that require a bit more vigilance and care and attention take a bit longer to learn, to read about, to invest in and then to practise. That’s not to say this girl is inferring that spanking isn’t skilled….it can be…this girl has had both bad spankings and good…but…it’s easier to go wrong (as in seriously wrong) with other things as opposed to that.
When this girl first met Grimly, she thought she was entering into the session with a relatively reasonable amount of experience under her belt, but she soon learnt that whilst she had experience of corporal punishment and light bondage, she was no way prepared for some of the things he brought to her attention. But then, she was confident from what she had heard about him that she was in hands that were more than capable of showing her new things. It was a bit of a lesson too in that no matter how experienced you think you are , there is always something new, or someone else suggesting another enlightening way of doing it that might change your perceptions.
The idea is to have an open mind to things, and to read about things and understand them and talk to people who have experience of doing it or having it done to them before sometimes rushing in.
This girl always feels safe with Grimly. She knows that anything new he will research and experiment on himself (where physically possible) before he tries it on her – though, most things he does with her are of course variations on well practised themes.
As for safety in bondage?
This girl needs bondage to feel secure, she needs to feel as though its impossible to move – it’s what both her and Grimly find erotic. Though, yes, somethings a little escapology could foil, but this girl needs to feel convinced by the illusion that she is completely his captive, at his mercy, his torture victim. It wouldn’t be as much fun otherwise.
Of course, this girl is the woman Grimly loves. So he is hardly going to let anything dangerous happen to her is he?
On the subject of love and bdsm, this girl sometimes wonders if he ever holds back, if he ever maybe stops a little before getting close to the limit because of that, because of fear of hurting her too much, and whether maybe he would be harder with a stranger. But, mostly she thinks he has it just at the right level.
A dom has to make a certain amount of assessments during play as to whether what is going on is working or not, whether it needs to be stepped up or down or something else done instead and Grimly is good at judging that. Of course, it is down to the submissive to make a certain amount of assessments too, and make sure that she communicates any problems that she is concerned about, but not things that really are just whinges – which , as this girl has said before is something she is sometimes bad for!
Of course there is another risk assessment to be made.
How much bad behaviour can this girl get away with before Grimly really takes her in hand and shows her a very hard time??
Hmm…the answer at the moment is probably none! 😉