This girl doesn’t write this blog for any financial gain, or for fame. Although, like any blogger – she can be a stat addict.Its only human to sometimes want to crave attention. It’s a diary really,with a bit of exhibitionism thrown in, and possibly sometimes people forget that. What you see is what you get. End of. This has all probably been said before, but, maybe sometimes this needs to be reiterated. If anyone thinks this is aimed at them. It probably is! (but you’re not alone 😉 )
This girl puts a lot of effort into writing things that might encourage people to think about things, or try things for themselves and is not going to change that despite what recent legislation might imply.
The recent legislation is NOT a ban on porn. It is a ban on possession of EXTREME images, that show severe injury (including sexual) to a person or a threat to their life. What you see here isn’t porn. It isn’t produced for the sake of gratifying the masses, there’s no money involved. It’s not a business. In fact its the opposite, its this girl’s life, and the story of her love for Grimly. Its all consenual.
From day one, this girl looked him out, roughly speaking about four years ago. She looked for someone that could fulfill her fantasies being adult enough to know what they were, and knowing what they most certainly weren’t. Taking a dip into any of her archive of blogs will show she loves what she does. And it’s real. Or as real as a life of weird sexual depravity can be.
This girl tries to demonstrate these things are possible, and can be extremely satisfying when conducted as part of a loving relationship that has healthy communication, and that its possible to balance all this with a life that involves dealing with family, work, and all the other hum drum ordinary things. This is escapism, but its so much more interesting than playing on a computer or wii or what not.
Some people have encouraged the restriction on images because they feel a lot of things on the internet degrade or take advantage of women.
This girl is not degraded, or humiliated, or exploited. Its what she wanted, and what she looked for , and what she loves.
None of the images on this blog show anything that suggests permanent harm or injury, or any sort of blood or act that suggests medical treatment would be necessary. Thats not to say copying some of these images is safe for everyone. It’s not, you need to be aware of the risks involved, and you need to trust both yourself and your dom that any safety issues are addressed and that both parties are educated enough as to whats going to happen.
This girl got asked the other day ‘how do you meet people online to indulge in this’.
The answer to that is , it depends. It depends whether you want a relationship that is *only* online, or that might lead to more.
It is this girl’s subjective opinion that a virtual relationship has limited value, given BDSM is often a very physical and mentally exhausting activity and, applying common sense, is better in the flesh as it were… in the same way that playing football isn’t the same as playing football on a playstation. There are of course plenty of chat rooms on the likes of bondage.com and yahoo that cater to pretending about this if thats what floats your boat, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but, its just not the same as exploring this to its full potential – which you can only do with some sort of regular real life contact. Its easy to type something on a computer, but to actually mean it and do it for real is a lot harder. Probably, the best sites to meet someone with a view to exploring properly are the likes of informed consent and fetlife, but there are so many, and the best thing of all is probably trying to get to actual events in your area, if there are suitable ones. Which, again, sites like fetlife and IC advertise.
This girl has been burnt with the internet dating thing,because its so easy to fall in love with the idea of someone than the actual person. When, you could really be talking to a pedophile or a trucker with hairy legs and a skirt and you have absolutely no way of knowing who that person really is.
To have in your mind what they might be like, what being with them will be like,and what effect being with them will have on your life,is very easy to fall in love with. This girl did that with her first BDSM relationship, so, she is not speaking from ignorance or false assumptions but from experience. She fell for him without meeting him, she felt enslaved by him before even holding his hand. With hindsight, that reads back as being bloody ridiculous! But, at the time, she hadn’t the experiences she has now to know any better. Its daft actually, that someone who might take loads of precuations when dating someone normal will throw caution to the wind if they think they’ll find someone that shares their kink…but its true.
And, ulimately, the relationship was doomed, not only for that reason, for quite a lot actually, but having false ideas in her head, and he in his, did not really help it start properly.
There is not an easy way to avoid internet predators or having misconceptions about people or them about you. You’ll either have bad experiences from the internet, or good.
This girl also met Grimly on the internet, though, she knew of him already through mutual friends and so felt safer, and he was able to very quickly verify himself as genuine. It took her months of playing with him and getting to know him as a person before she felt truly his, and it felt so much better and deeper for following that route. She didn’t play around with im on the internet, she talked with him, shared ideas, met in real life to verify he seemed ok, and then played with him in what she was confident was a safe situation. Which ok, its not suitable for everyone to follow that route, and this girl is not saying you have to.
A lot depends on what you are looking for.
Whether you are looking for some cheap stimulation and a quick fix, or something longer lasting. There’s no easy way to find a perfect partner. It takes time, and effort, and a damn sight more than a bit of sleazy typing in a chat room where the only achievements you can accomplish is how many words you can add to your vocabulary to describe sucking cock. Gosh if anything on the internet is degrading to women its the likes of that sort of nonsense whereby women are expected to cater to the masturbation fantasies of men. Ok ok subjective opinion, this girl will get off the soap box on that one.
Probably what this girl is trying to say here is it takes time and effort to explore this whole BDSM thing properly, there isn’t an easy way to it. It takes effort, and time. The internet is a good way to talk to people, and make friends, but possibly some caution needs to be exercised when using it for the purposes of seeking a kinky partner.
And yes, this girl is speaking from a priviliged position of being with someone who fulfills her needs and fantasies to the nth degree. So may , possibly, be a little smug. But, this girl is proud of who she is, and of what she does, and of how she shares it.
And, apart from anything else, she can prove that she’s more than letters on a page.
Some people might not agree with her views, and quite honestly, she wouldnt’ want everyone to be in harmonious agreement it would be so bloody dull. But, when she gives an opinion its because she’s been there, done that and is given her tuppence worth about it, having had the experience for real.