Sometimes its fun to play with Grimly just without it being BDSM. Like here. Acting very much like kids lol….
The BDSMy type stuff has fallen a little by the wayside this month, this girl and Grimly have played but its been as and when its been possible which hasn’t been a lot. Though December is often a bit like that – busy, stressful and other commitments going on.
This girl just hasn’t really been in a BDSM headspace lately to be able to feel inspired to write very much. A constant cycle of – work. family. work. More work. Christmas shopping. Arrgh!! This girl does not do shopping very well – she’s one of those that would prefer to know what she wants and get it and go home, rather than trail endlessly round busy hot shops getting jostled by ignorant gits! Hate it! This girl gets very irritable very quickly when having to do shopping when she can’t find what she wants straight away.
So, surely this girl can’t be the only one to let winter blues get the better of her? Do other people manage better, do they just not let it show – are they saints? This girl is not one of those people that will paint a rosy picture perfect vision of D/s no matter what is really going on.She’s not a liar, or a fantasist. What you read about is pretty much how it is. Kind of if its said its meant, and that’s really it.
So yeah. This month its felt a bit difficult to really get into all the BDSM stuff. Its so easy to try and ask for it, to try and ask him to play, but then most of the time lately this girl has just been totally knackered. Probably trying to work the equivalent in two weeks in seven days wasn’t a good idea! This is why living in a dungeon and never seeing sunlight would be bad! (despite being a fantasy its just not realistic!)
Playing when you are this stressed and this blue doesn’t really work. It just ends up going either wrong, or just not being as good as normal. To be honest, victim of her own fantasy, this girl finds it sometimes hard to keep to the level that she would like to. To keep impressing people, to keep being a bit different. To try and find things to write about that havent all been said before! It’s hard! This girl doesn’t want to get things to a stage of being – ‘today I did this and then I went to the shops’. Or getting to the stage of trying to do something new to have something to tell folk about.
But life isn’t just about BDSM, so, maybe one day it will get like that, and if so, sorry in advance! But realistically, this girl is happy with who she is and that person is someone that indulges in all this stuff a lot. Just, when her head can cope with it. Sometimes we all need a break!
Though really, BDSM helps keep her head on. Or more specifically being Grimly’s. The rest of the stuff needs to be balanced but so does the fantasy.
This girl didn’t have her collar on the other week. Family were about, it seemed to make sense at that point to take it off, and Grimly gave her the key. She feels bad about it, but she really didn’t want to put it back on when she had the opportunity to do so. There was no logical reason why, it just felt like, that week, that it was a bit of a burdon. Something she didn’t want. Something she couldn’t be bothered with, though she couldn’t really elaborate or put into her words her reasons for feeling that way. Yet now, she feels stupid for even having those thoughts!
The collar kind of keeps her head on.
She feels like some sort of idiot saying that, as though she’s really lost without it but she is. Grimly’s collar is part of this girl. Not obviously a living part, but a part all the same, it’s like things stop making sense when its not there unless there’s a really good reason for it – like him making her wear something ridiculously extreme like a neck corset – which she hates! So, when she put it back on things gradually started feeling better. More normal.
This girl maintains she doesn’t want to be micromanaged, she doesn’t want to be controlled in every way shape or form. But there are some forms of control that she needs – and his collar is one of those, and anything else that sort of reminds her that he’s looking after her because she’s his, and because he loves her, and sure, its as good as an engagement ring for symbolising commitment.
This girl needs things that remind her in kind of subtle yet very emotional and psychological ways of what she is to him, and sometimes, she needs that more than at other times. Like when everything else is hectic, its just important to have a bit of a reminder there. Of course, he needs a lot of that sort of stuff from the opposite end too.
The whole reason this dynamic exists though is because its fun, its what this girl and Grimly both need as a bit of escapism, and because its a huge huge part of who they are.
If it wasn’t fun it wouldn’t happen.
Well hopefully, in a few hours all the stress will be over and things will settle back over the next few days. Thats the thing with Christmas isn’t it, loads of excitement, rushing around, stress, feeling a bit over indulged
time to play with the presents 😉
Some over indulgence in that is definately overdue!