This girl read and contributed to a thread on fetlife a few days ago entitled ‘are tools of the trade important’. The thread asked : “When looking for a potential Dom/Master/Sadist, how important is it that he have tools/toys like a St. Andrews cross, or a spanking bench, or stocks, or some suspension device? And, how important is having a play space at home (dungeon), or is club space adequate?”
There weren’t many people who said it was important. This girl did, but she was very much in the minority.
When this girl met Grimly, part of the attraction was the image he presented, and that image included obvious signs that he had a great deal of ability and imagination. It wasn’t an image that seemed to be made up, or put on to impress her – its just how he was. He seemed to be able to quite easily prove that he was what he made out to be.
When you are looking for a Dom, especially if that hunt includes considering people you first meet online, it’s really hard to be sucked in by an illusion. It easy for someone to say ‘i am this’ and ‘i am that ‘, as though they are God’s gift and its easy for someone to come across as though they might be the most perfect Dom on the planet – but then its even easier to believe that when you are desperately hoping that there might be someone out there for you on your level.
This is a fact. A lot of people can be desperate, or maybe desperate is too strong a word – but looking so eagerly for someone that will make all their fantasies come true that they might look at someone with rosy coloured glasses, and not really see what is really there in the hope that even if that person isn’t quite right, they might change into the fantasy, and its just as easy for men to think that of women as it is for women to think that of men, if not more so.
Gosh, this girl has fallen for that one. Its like what she said about the election thing. It’s easy to believe promises if its what you want to hear. There needs to be a bit of back up. Something to support those promises, otherwise, chances are things could ultimately lead to disappointment for one or both of the people involved. Yep, its easy to get fooled or do the fooling on the web, and so many people talk the talk without really that many people knowing whether they really are what they make out. Some people probably don’t do it intentionally they just want to meet a partner too, and paint this whole picture of how great a Dom or sub they are and then just sorta wing it when it comes to the crunch.
This girl has had one disastrous D/s relationship and one successful one, so she doesn’t pretend to know it all, she doesn’t, but she has learnt from her mistakes, and learnt in a hard and costly way at times, so, she knows a bit about what she’s talking about here before anyone comes along and says this is too harsh. This girl has met people that are pretending they are all that, and people that really are everything they claim, and the latter can be friends well worth hanging on to.
When this girl met Grimly, she’d been through that disappointment stage, of realising that her masochistic fantasies weren’t really being met, she hadn’t at that point realised the D/s wasn’t working either – but that realisation came later too.
When she came across Grimly, it was something he wrote that caught her eye, and then further investigation showed his pictures and details of what he did.
Having all the toys there didn’t really prove too much, it’s easy to buy things and not know what you’re doing with them. This girl herself has bought a few things that she wouldn’t know how to operate, yet, enjoys having used on her!
It was more the fact that he could say with enough evidence (from word of mouth) that he had actually created most of his equipment himself, and that was part of the wow bit. He could easily prove he had imagination and creativity, though at the time, this girl was just really completely blinded and bewildered by all the possibilities that might lead to. Yeah, like anything, it was a bit of a gamble as to whether it would be as good as she thought it would be and on whether there would be a spark, but it was there, it worked.
His toys are a big part of this girl’s BDSM.
Yes, there are Doms that can do the job quite capably with stuff hanging in the kitchen or whatever, but this girl has now kinda been a bit spoilt in that kitchen implements wouldn’t do it for her. That doesn’t mean she’s saying its not good to modify and adapt day to day things – it is, but, she’s used to things he adapts being leather, wood, metal…and most of all her mind. She obviously didn’t know how capable he would be at actually getting into her head till several months had passed of playing with him, but, she was shown pretty quickly that physically he could make pretty much most of her fantasises happen.
This girl’s earliest fantasies always involved either medieval torture or weird sort of scientific experiments, either way, the fantasies she had always involved an element of the right ambience being present, the right equipment to create the physical sensations, and the right personality to inflict the torment upon her.
Three out of three for Grimly lol
He was able to provide the right setting, the right equipment, and the right devious and crafty mind.
Its all ingredients that are needed to lead to the illusion feeling real. Because, thats sort of what its like;BDSM.
Its like a sort of magic filled fantasy when its done properly, its that sort of feeling of ‘oh my God i never thought this could happen to me and somehow it is’ that sort of feeling incredibly fucked and doomed but incredibly lucky at the same time.
This girl never really thought much of magicians. Always sort of sceptical of it, trying to wonder how the hell it all worked, because some of the stuff , it couldn’t be real could it?
There have been times when she’s been a bit like that over the stuff he’s done to her. Trying to work out how he’s got into her head this much, trying to figure out why she’s changed from what she was, to what she is i.e more submissive to him with a greater need to want to please him and obey him, and less questioning of the twisted stuff he does to her.
Its a lot more magical to just let it happen.
There are certain things this girl has stopped trying to figure out. Like the whole controlled orgasm thing.
Before it happened to her, this girl would not have believed it was possible, but it is. Conditioning, programming, whatever, he put something in her head. Was it because she wanted it? Was it because he made it happen? Was it both?
This girl doesn’t really think about that too much now, she just takes it as a given that its how things are. That he has that sexual power over her, and always will, and so much other control as well, but not really more control than she would want in her life. He doesn’t want to rule her life for goodness sake, he just wants a coffee when he asks for one and not ten minutes later! lol
And, probably, different things make Doms magical for their subbies. If we were all the same it would be very boring indeed. For some subbies it might be how wonderful their Master’s cock is , or it might be how brilliantly dominant they are, but for this girl a big bit of what makes Grimly special for her is his creativity and his ability to engineer the fantasy exactly to his devious specifications.
He’s a showman really.
It’s about making everything look and feel amazing for his girl, and well, for anyone else that notices.
This girl’s pretty lucky.
Older posts on a similar theme :-