‘Gone fishing’

This girl has mentioned somewhere before about Grimly’s split personality. It is sometimes easier to think of his two personas of boyfriend and Master as seperate people who are secretly one in the same  – a bit like Clark Kent and Superman…well he does wear glasses but he doesn’t wear the pants on the outside!

This girl is not completely sure why she has half encouraged and half invented this state of affairs and elaborate role play because sometimes it tends to complicate things and strikes a bit of some sort of controlled schizophrenia.

The reason is partly because it can be a little difficult sometimes to go from being apart and having to deal with the issues that go with being in a long distance relationship and the associated vanilla humdrum to then being together and engaging in kink, and it makes that cross-over easier. Sort of like an instanteneous transformation. Of course, there’s no changing in phone boxes or any of that nonsense, just some sort of mental switch that brings one set of ideas and interests to the forefront and pushes the other stuff into the background.

Grimly and this girl are not 24/7 and could never be. There needs to be a balance between kink and being a relatively normal functioning person. It is not a fantasy for either of them to live some sort of micromanaged, controlled to the nth degree existence. For one, this girl needs a little independance, and for two, grimly needs to have someone that he can converse with and share ideas and his life with. If he wanted a robot, he could probably make one..eventually…he’s made so many other technical and bizarre things!

It is sometimes important for a dom to get feedback, to get recognition for what they do, and to be given ideas and this girl tries her best to meet that need in him and for that reason she will always retain her own personality and own traits so that she can be honest and open with him in that sense.

In Grimly, there are traits that are very much dom, sadist, and evil genius and then traits that are ‘normal’. Whatever of course that normal means. The normal side of him is very loving and very caring and  would do absolutely anything in his power to make her happy. Like decorating, or like repairing the car, or any other number of extremely, on the face of it, boring and everyday things. There are things that he does, that just really remind this girl on a daily basis what love is really about, and she could not be without that.

There have been people she’s known in the past that given a choice between love and kink would choose kink everytime not caring whether the love and devotion was there or not. This girl could not be without either, and neither could Grimly, and if such a choice was forced upon them and something had to be sacrificed..the kink would be axed. Though, realistically, the chances of that state of events happening – nah!

The thing is, something in this girl’s head sort of makes it difficult to associate that man who loves her and would do anything for her with the evil fucking bastard that would tie he up every which way and do despicable things to her body. Its sort of…uncharacteristic. The person he is in day to day life makes this girl feel as though she is extremely special and on some sort of pedestal in his eyes almost, and sometimes this girl can’t really understand that no matter what she does each day this man loves her more and more. Is that domly? Does it matter?

Thats partly why though in her head she associates the kinky parts of him as a different character, it makes every element of him easier to love, easier to believe, and this girl loves both her boyfriend and her Master equally..though given the choice she knows which one she would have sex with and which she would marry…and those are not the same. Vanilla sex…no! Its wrong! Though of course, like everything there is a time and a place for that too!

The Grimly side of him is a bit of a control freak, a bit of a demented evil genius and as someone said recently ‘commander overkill’ in the bondage sense. Grimly is fantasy, but, a fantasy that is very real, larger than life and has a tendency to bite (if you ask nicely).  There are, of course, Grimly elements in the personality of her lover at all times, and vice versa elements of the loved up man in Grimly too. There is a lot of crossover, and despite sometimes talking about them as if they are seperate, this girl is not so Lois Lane about it to think that its actually really different people, but it makes it fun.

There are things that are distinctively different – behaviours, tone of voice, dress – all sorts of things. This girl can believe Grimly. Not believe *in* him, as though he was some sort of God or deity, but believe that he’s real. Though you know, its a bit impossible not to believe something if its got you strapped down with electrodes coming out of your every orifice and pushing weird little buttons in your head. If you believe religion, Gods have done things at various times to make people believe in them – like parting seas, or causing floods or plagues – thankfully his power over this girl is nothing as biblical or extreme. Though, in its own little way its just as effective on this one person. Maybe not in everyone, because when you are in a D/s relationship, if its working, like, really working then everything is really adapted to suit that one special person. His style may not suit the next person, just as much as the way this girl is might not suit another Dom. In fact, this girl is convinced there are other doms that would despair of her. They really would!

This girl is extremely happy and content with what she has, despite it being a little odd at times,and if it works for her to think of him as two then so be it.

Sometimes of course, she’ll ask where the other person is. She’ll get an answer, though normally its a relatively ridiclous one…like…

‘he’s gone fishing’

Older posts on a similar theme :-

7 thoughts on “‘Gone fishing’

  1. Looks like he caught a whopper there!
    Grimly knows that she is a keeper, and be careful or he might just mount you over the mantle (literally!)
    Being a fan of Captain overkill’s approach to this, I know that the fact that you enjoy being put in those totally over the top situations is what makes you such a rare commodity.

    I’m curious if you call Grimly by his given name as your real world friend and lover, and Grimly as his evil side. I’m planting the words of Jim Croce in your head the next time you think about your Superman.

    You don’t tug on Superman’s cape
    You don’t spit into the wind
    You don’t pull the mask off the ol Lone Ranger
    and you don’t mess around with GRIM!

  2. reader, i love trouble don’t worry about it! 🙂

    Tim, yes i refer to him mostly by his real name, apart from when we are playing heavily or in a very explicit bdsm context, apart from anything else i wouldn’t want to get in the habit of calling him weird things when ‘normal’ people or his family might here. Not that i’m saying they’re abnormal..but…

    no…seriously they are lovely people. .but they wouldnt understand his alter ego!

    TG xx

  3. As usual This girl, your blog is a pleasure for reading. I think, a real domme/sub relationship is based on love and sometimes, on the deepest sadistry. But the most important thing is that you enjoy yourself with Grimly. In you relationship, normal moments are a pause in your love hate relationship and they do torture time, more emotional, more sensitive. You and Grimly are sensitive people and that’s why you need to domme or to be dominate. It’s really a good point, to be able to have “normal” life and not only a BDSM one. It takes BDSM play more fun and intense. I wish you all the best This girl.
    XXX

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