This girl is not a swinger. In fact…she’s always been monogomous sexually.
This girl loves a lot of aspects of kink and bdsm, but the thought of sex with a stranger, or even with someone she knows other than her regular partner – is a complete non starter. Not to say, of course, that there is anything wrong with wanting to indulge in multiple sexual partners its just not this girl’s choice.
She tried it once or twice after encouragement from her ex, and it just never felt right. It just felt sort of like some sort of cheap thrill, that wasn’t actually that thrilling.
This girl does sort of see the attraction a bit. For people who like sex and want a lot of it, and have partners who have a similar view. But thats the problem, if your partner doesn’t share your views on swinging and polyamory or you don’t share theirs you are going to have problems and one person is going to be unhappy.
Luckily Grimly’s views on it match this girl’s. Both Grimly and this girl are quite oldfashioned when it comes to relationship values which maybe contradicts a little some of the other bizarre stuff that goes on around here.
From this girl’s point of view, she just feels lucky that she has found someone who meets her needs on a BDSM and relationship level that she doesn’t want to jeopardise that and she doesn’t want to feel as though her partner is constantly looking for ‘extras’ .This girl has been in that position before and it made her feel a little undervalued, as though just being herself was not enough, or as though she wasn’t sexy enough or attractive enough.
Grimly has always made this girl feel a million dollars, and any bdsm or sex with him has always been fantastic, and that has predominantly been because of his skill for getting totally into her head and pushing the buttons that reinforce sexual control. This girl cannot orgasm without his say-so, therefore aside from anything else, there’s just no point in trying with someone else. She’s too conditioned. He joked the other day that if he said no orgasms for a year she would have to live with it, because it would be a choice of that or no orgasms *ever* if that sort of ultimatum would make her want to escape his clutches. Well of course, it was just a joke, and nothing would make this girl want to escape his devious clutches – well apart from when he is a complete and utter evil bastard…but then…deep down she secretly loves that too! What a shock!
This girl sees anything that goes on with him as very special, very personal, and very sexual, and the thing which makes that so amazing is the fact that its just the two of them – that the relationship has been worked at, effort put in from both sides to learn how each other tick. When you involve other people it gets complicated, there’s more peoples’ feelings to consider, there is more to balance as well as if keeping a bdsm relationship balanced with real life and other needs isn’t difficult enough to begin with.
This girl’s opinion is a case of that BDSM and D/s works best when its just the two people involved who are able to invest the time and effort into making it work without worrying about others, or their needs as well. Surely its possible to spread yourself too thin? Trying to keep too many people happy?
This girl is of course always interested to see how people make this work, and to observe poly families and households or people that regularly have more flexible views on relationships. It’s interesting to learn how other people do it, but this girl has what works for her.
This girl would like to sometimes involve other people in play and in her BDSM a little, maybe do a few interesting sessions and treatments in the torture clinic, as its interesting to see how other people respond to the toys she’s come to love and hate dependant on how they are being used…but as far as sex goes…its a private thing and not to be shared.
So the only swinging this girl will be doing…..