The hype surrounding the new site Public Disgrace has got this girl thinking a little about her own views on BDSM in public and fetish photography.
This girl likes to show off. She likes being an exhibitionist.
In a way, this is a little of an odd state of events given that naturally she is in fact quite shy. Again, it comes down to that whole ‘secret identity thing’. BDSM lets this girl show her fun side, her exhibitionstic side, her sense of adventure and her sense of daring and risk. Its the bits of her that don’t worry about the bills, work, and other boring things. Its the sort of side of her that lets its hair down. And yes, its really mostly a form of escapism and fantasy.
What this girl does here, on her blog, is really showing off the stuff she loves. To begin with, this girl didn’t write much about actual ‘play’ or post pictures of it. She didn’t have the confidence for that, but, over time her confidence has grown for it to now be something she is quite comfortable in doing. Its almost like a secondary buzz. The initial buzz being the doing, which of course, cannot be bettered by anything, and remains this girl’s biggest and strongest addiction. However, the writing about it, the posting the pictures – its sort of ‘reliving’ the experience and therefore there is a little kick from that too. It sort of feels nice to be able to do that, and to feel as though some people admire her for it, and possibly get ideas from it too themselves for them to lend and adapt to their own fantasies. Of course, it makes her feel closer to Grimly when he’s not here too.
This girl sometimes wonders whether its wrong to have such a ‘graphic’ site, in the sense that it is impossible to log onto it without seeing BDSM imagery straight away and this does sometimes face her with the moral dilemma of whether she should make it a little more work safe and make it so pictures have to be visited as opposed to *there*. Also, there’s always the risk that someone might stumble here that doesn’t really want to be looking at this stuff. Though…judging by the search terms…it doesn’t seem all that likely. Maybe she should get one of those ‘take me to the kittens’ buttons like they have on flickr! However, as this girl said, this is part of who she is, the exhibitionism, and really, its pride too of who she is. Its nice to have this thing that really does make her feel proud about being who she is.
This girl really tries to only exhibit what she does in forums where it will be appreciated. She doesn’t try to show off to people who are unlikely to either appreciate, or understand, and who would be disgusted.
Thats why she doesn’t do a great deal of outdoor play.
This girl loves outdoor play, she loves woodlands,beaches and castles, and all manner of places that have potential for giving an incredible backdrop for kink. And yet, she has done a limited amount of play outdoors because she would not risk doing it somewhere where discovery would be likely by passers by.
It did happen once.
This girl was doing a bit of a photo shoot thing with a friend, and was wearing a long pvc dress. So, you know, completely clothed…just clothed differently. As you can see, the castle is enclosed from all sides apart from the entrance, and it really was quite spectacular..until…an elderly couple walked in. This girl and her friend sat down and pretended to look inconspicuous which is not easy when one of you is wearing pvc and the other has hair that is half blue and half red, but a worthy attempt at trying to look innocent was made. The couple who had entered were quite british about the whole thing and stayed long enough to look at the architecture and to not look as though they had been completely offended and shocked and then walked out a few minutes later. It was actually quite funny, at the time, but it reminded this girl that its important if you are going to do something kinky in public that you are unlikely to be disturbed, and certainly to not be disturbed by children. So, since then, she hasn’t really done much in public at all, unless she’s known that she is not going to offend any people that might be around.
This girl certainly wouldn’t start having sex, or giving Grimly a blow job in public if she thought she might be disturbed. Which, the concept about that new web site seems to be exactly that….that people will be likely to see and be shocked and mortified.
This girl wants people who are into BDSM to like what she does, or be at least interested about it, but she doesn’t want people who are going to be grossed out to be subjected to it in front of their faces when they are going about their daily business in the park or at the shops.
Because, ultimately, those people – they haven’t given their consent to being involved.
They haven’t even been given the option.
Its one thing accidentally coming across kink on the web that you don’t want to see and being able to click away – and this girl has done that before – come across things that really she didn’t want to see – its another thing altogether having it in front of your face in all three dimensions.
Its one of those moral issues definately. What is acceptable and what isn’t?