Ok this is one of those posts that this girl is going to wonder afterwards why she wrote, and yet will be completely, and absolutely obvious and no surprise to Grimly. What a shock!
Maybe its because this girl is getting to *that* part of her period where she is starting to feel horny and had this subject on her mind that she is thinking these thoughts, maybe its the fact that she knows she isn’t getting any orgasms till friday…or well, maybe its just she’s starting to see the point and feeling a little more submssive today. Who can say? But anyway, here are some chastity related thoughts.
This girl has mostly always hated the thought of chastity. The idea of not being able to touch her own body and of being restricted by it being only the tip of the iceberg with that. She’s always tried to make out that her main concerns with it have always been sort of practical things – like being able to go the loo normally and whether people would see through her clothes, but really, the main reason has just been not wanting to admit she wants that level of control and invasion and very visible and noticeable and constant reminder.
But the problem is, deep down, this girl knows she would get off on chastity and that it would turn her on to a ridiculous level, and that the excuses she makes him are possibly a bit half-hearted and pathetic! Also the thing with hating something, well, hate is a very strong emotion isn’t it…and only one end of the spectrum away from love and desire.
This girl has not got to the point of saying that she would love it happening. Do you think she is crazy or something? Yeah, she’s going to write in a blog that he will read that she can’t wait and she wants him to hurray up and buy her one. Er. No. It’s not got to THAT.
The stage this girl is at with it really is one of curiosity if anything. She knows enough about it to know that she would be extremely frustrated and yet extremely aroused, especially if around her Master. Whilst that frustration may be extremely irritating, the release must be amazing. Orgasms are always good when she’s not had a good one for a while (read while as being a few days lol).
This girl already is subjected to a relative amount of sexual control, but its mostly mental. The control he has over her has been implanted in her mind so that she can only orgasm with his trigger. This girl never thought she would have a man be able to control her like that….and it happened…so maybe this will too. In fact, there’s possibly not much of a grey area concerning it. It will happen. Sometime.
It is always a love/hate thing with being controlled. This girl is incredibly aroused and excited when he is visibly reinforcing it and acting upon it, and yet, there are times when she wants to tell him to fuck off and leave her alone, because sure there are times when she is so far from being the perfect submissive.
Maybe part of the problem is that she likes to think of herself as having her own mind, of being independant, of being her own person…and sometimes submission,dominance and all the little signs of control and exchange of power conflict with that. And yet, its what she wants. As you can see, sometimes this girl gets awfully confused!
Part of the fun is being conquered, being convinced, being tortured and encouraged into a deeper level of submission and being shown who’s boss. Its not to say she needs to be encouraged in that way *every* time but sometimes a little re-assertion by him is fun. This girl is still really working out how her own submission works, because she came into ‘this’ from really being more of a masochist, and really Grimly was initially just this really evil sadistic bastard (well not just….it is really enough!)
So there are some things that are still being worked out, still getting better and still changing and maybe just maybe chastity is one of those things. Sure, this girl has changed her mind on it a little from being repulsed by it to being turned on by the ‘idea’ of it and by the limited experiences she has had. Though, if he wants to do it he’ll do it to her. Yeah, she can put up a bit of a protest at that, and try and encourage him against it, yet, there is sometimes a little problem when you have a dom that is equally as bloody minded as you and who has the benefit of experience and downright cunning on his side. Although, he doesnt really need to trick her into this, as with anything its probably a very much a ‘stick and carrott’ process with equal amounts of both until she sees his way is the better and more fun option. So, ok ,maybe that is tricking her a bit.
Really though, deep down, this girl knows he has never tricked her into one single thing. Encouraged maybe. But not tricked and not coerced. None of this would happen if it wasn’t all part of an incredibly erotic and very real fantasy that just happens to cross over into reality rather a lot. If she was really so dead against it, or really hating it, he wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t be able to be like that, because, whilst he may be a really horrible sadist and a control freak he ultimately gets off on seeing her reactions as much as he does with the thrill of ‘doing it’.
Chastity of course might even be a torment for Grimly as well. Or its at least nice to think that for a few seconds. What if he gets incredibly aroused by it? What if he can’t stick to leaving it on for what time he says he will? What if the whole thing just encourages more things to come out of his imagination?
Maybe it wouldn’t be all bad and maybe its just one of those fantasies that this girl doesn’t want to admit to. You know…the really embarrassing ones, that people give you sideways looks when you mention. Like wanting to be suspended and tortured over a shark tank like in a Bond film …ok..yeah…chastity is probably more normal than that and possibly safer, and a lot more likely!