So yes..you can probably guess this follows on a little from the previous post
Some people have a fetish for blood. This girl hasn’t.
The first memory she has of expressing this is her fifth birthday. Picture this. All the kids are sat round the table nibbling away at the party food and it comes to the strawberry mousse, you know, the type that has the sort of red jelly stuff at the bottom. This girl shouts out very loudly ‘eugggh…its got blood in it’ and yeah….that put everyone off…apart from this one girl…Helen…who actually was possibly later this girl’s first lesbian crush…who said ….’hmmm…yum’ lol. Yeah. Needless to say this girl’s mum was mortified that no one ate the mousse she’d so lovingly made. Apart from Helen.
Apart from that, this girl was pretty clumsy as a kid. She still is. So blood was always associated with scraped knees, and ouchies and plasters. So, being cut, being injured, being covered in the stuff has never been a fantasy. Ever. And its one of those issues that this girl knows won’t probably change. Well, its not just for childhood reasons of course, its just one of those things she finds ‘ick’. Thats not to say its wrong….just its one of those this girl is not into.
There are people of course that love it and there do seem to be people that go about doing bloodplay in a very educated and risk aware way. There are also people that take it to extremes and near to suicide attempts, if you are into that you can probably find dozens of sites that cater to this. Well this girl isn’t linking to them! Nah.
This girl *can* see the attraction of cutting. For varied reasons and motives for both self harm and for kink. This girl went through a phaze at school where she was bullied and just generally hated being her. She is way over that now, but she went through a phaze where she tried to cut. It wasn’t for her. As soon as it got to the point where a trickle might appear it freaked her out. So she isn’t a cutter. Isn’t and wasn’t. She could totally see the attraction though, how there could feel like some release to it by doing it, and how it could be so dangerously addictive and how it could go too far.
The thing with masochism is sometimes that pain makes you feel better. This girl went through a period like that were she wanted it to make her feel better, though she hopes she doesn’t come across as a nutcase…just cuz she seen a psychiatrist once or twice…gosh most people have times when they need someone to talk to thats not involved. Though that was later, and if anything it made this girl realise actually how much she already knew her own mind. This girl has had times when she’s felt low, when she’s wanted to resort to drastic measures, but you know what – not since she’s been with Grimly. Not once.
This girl couldn’t imagine him cutting her either. The thing about BDSM with Grimly is that although its often a bit edgy – breath play,electrics, extreme bondage – all that, its always very safe and informed and also done out of love as well as sadism. His motives for hurting her are for her his own sadistic pleasures, but also, because he knows she loves it. Nothing he does to her though is going to cause any permanent damage. Sure, maybe it changes her a bit psychologically maybe sometimes you read things that question this girl’s sanity, but for the most part, he knows the side effects of what he does – and so does she and it can all be dealt with.
This girl wouldn’t want to be permanently marked and she wouldn’t want him to make her bleed, it’s just not something that she sees as being appealing in a loving relationship. At least not in *their* relationship. Though she totally understands the attractions, how it could be extremely fascinating on a very dark and morbid level. How it could be incredibly erotic, and the fact that she can see the attraction of it scares her a little because she knows if she got him to try it she could get to the point of wanting more and more as she does with a lot of other things…and well…she doesn’t really want to go there. Sure, this girl reckons its possible to know what you are doing with this, but, its not a fetish she wants to explore, not least of all because the sight of blood can make her feel incredibly nauseus – like when they did that mock amputation in history class…eugh she was nearly sick. lol. though…yeah…her very dominant history teacher was in charge of that…and even that didn’t make it any less yucky.
This girl doesn’t get turned on by blood, by the sight of it or by the texture or the symbolism. She understands there are people that are drawn to this, that believe its good fun and has some sort of deeper meaning – and maybe it does. Though personally…this girl would rather meet Dr Frankenstein than Dracula…the creative genius appeals more than the blood sucking womaniser. Funny old thing!
This girl doesn’t feel horny when she’s bleeding either. Well, not until about the third day. Then, her hormones start getting more balanced and she starts wanting sex, but the whole thought of doing it *during* doesnt appeal either. Neither does play, her body is extremely sensitive, she goes through periods of not really wanting to be touched, and wanting her own space – and Grimly respects that. She knows he’s done it before with people, and she knows it doesn’t bother him. Kinda this girl sees how some submissives might feel the attraction of being used regardless of whether its that time of the month or not, but no, it puts this girl off. She’d rather her Master enjoy it when her body is accommodating…as it is most of the rest of the time!
Her ex was quite demanding in that he expected to be satisfied whether she was bleeding or not. He didn’t mean by fucking though, because he had a blood phobia in that he fainted at the sight. But he expected that she would be anally trained and orally trained to have her other holes ‘available” (groan) This may sound really un-submissive but this girl finds sucking cock when she’s bleeding really a turn off and incredibly un-erotic. Yes, ok , maybe its one of those times when it should be all about his pleasure, but, this girl isn’t one of the submissives that thinks those sort of thoughts. It has to be mutually satisfying, maybe not for the same reasons of course, but each person needs to get something out of the experience or it doesn’t work.
There are times when she wants to pleasure Grimly. Lots of them, and sure, when he finally gets round to put her in chastity* he will expect to be sometimes about his pleasure and her frustration. In fact, quite often, its about her frustration and torment anyway! But yeah, he doesn’t expect her to have to do it when she’s physically not up to feeling like sexual interaction. Because, its like he senses it, its as though he’s not turned on if he knows she’s not. This girls ex was the opposite, he was MORE turned on when she was doing it reluctantly. Gosh, she’s so lucky she has Grimly, whose sexual needs are so balanced with her own. Its just one of those things that the views of both Grimly & this girl are the same on.
Blood though, its a funny thing. This girl knows her thoughts on it …and yet…sometimes…the thought is a little morbidly erotic…like when she sees this sort of image, taken by a brilliant photographer she knows. Sometimes…it looks hot, and maybe its because its *so* taboo. But no, deep down she knows this isn’t something that she’s going to explore, not least because it doesn’t remotely appeal to Grimly either! In fact, she knows if he asked, he would say no. Its not his thing. Its one of those cases of wow…thats hot…but its not for me. Yet, so many other things are! 😉
** did that sound like she’s wanting it?? bloody hope not!!!!